Why did I puff??

Its such a horrible pateren, was up for 5 nights last week on puff n juice. Had a blast but I have a fantastic job n need to keep focused.. The only thing is weekends are so boring without drugs.. Tonight i was planing to just watch a relaxing dvd. However instead i didn't even do anything but stayed n a bedroom with one other person puffing all night puffing away.. Now it's almost sunday afternoon and work tomorrow is going to be a bitch.. I had my fun last week n promised myself this wouldn't happened.. I fall into a bad habit last year and now only puff n juice once a month for fun.. However, this is my 4th weekend in a row now so I have broken my promise.. I have a lot more control n will not puff before work, however Life is so fucking boring.. Any suggestion, so I'm not tired for work tomorrow.. I have valliums n xanic however, do you think it's best to naturally fall asleep? This will be my last puff for the day!!! If my job wasn't so hard I wouldn't care, but I need to be 100% focused and being scattered is absolute tourer. Kill mee, why do I even do this to myself??
 
Yeah I feel you on this situation. I can only caution, its best to take an abstinence break for a period of a month or so at least. I'm a veteran user, slingin meth and my Rx painkillers (pop pills, not slingin.) Although I've never done GHB and have no idea how that feels or what the pull of the drug has on people, but I DO have 30 years as a seasoned user & like you once, had the kind of work that I couldn't be scatter brained. As a result, I've kept to low paying jobs far below what my capacity could have been in order to maintain full time employment. As for what may help you with energy tomorrow, I can recommend L-Tyrosine, Taurine, L-Glutamine & one other I can't remember sorry. These amino acids can be purchased in health food stores and I was told to dose each one differently. While not a miracle cure for come downs, they DO cut down alot on the crappy w/ds. As for your falling asleep naturally vs. xanax, I can only speak for myself, knowing I'd never get to sleep on my own until half way through my work day. That said, I'd certainly try some melatonin and a benedryl natural, but less likely to make you oversleep. It's a hard balancing act drugs/highs/vs normal life which seems so bland by comparison. "Sex, Drugs, Gambling, & Chocolate" by Dr. A. Thomas Horvath enabled me to utilitize tools to stay off the gear for 3 months at a time then I'd have a week to buy a bag, not go anywhere, and not have to worry about work. I managed that for 2 years, but best of luck to you.
 
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