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Why can't I get a girlfriend? Hell even a life?

Journey

Journey

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 14, 2011
Messages
39
I'm been told many many times that I'm attractive. I'm 6'1, with a swimmers body. (toned/athletic).

I'm 22. Live with my parents. No job. Not in college.

This is my daily routine:

1.Wake Up and shower.
2.Go for a jog around the lake and even lay out by the lake to get a nice tan.
3.Go home and mess around on the computer.
4.Stay up late at night watching movies on my computer until I fall asleep.

I REPEAT that routine 7 days/week.

I chat with women on various social networking sites but I feel like even if a girl did wanna hangout I have nothing to show for myself. Who would want to be with me when I have no job,college education,my own place etc.

Not only that- I see all these cute girls dating guys that I feel are way less attractive to me and are punks (not trying to be cocky because I'm not, and who knows if they're punks because I dont know them I'm just saying it seems like it.)

Are girls interested more in a guy having a job, going to college, and having his own place more then a good looking guy with a nice sense of humor? Is that what my probelm is- because I dont have a job/money?

Its driving me crazy! I take care of myself by hitting the gym, tanning, and lots of girls think im cute but NOTHING comes out of it... one night stands here and there.. PLUS, the girls I'm interested in are NOT interested in me.

Can anybody give me some advice?

Probably getting a job would be a good start eh?
:?
 
dude re-read everything you just wrote....and try to do it from a third perspective. the answers are all right there.

analyze that shit like a coked-out Freud. you'll l


(...oh wait.)
 
jam uh weezy said:
dude re-read everything you just wrote....and try to do it from a third perspective. the answers are all right there.

analyze that shit like a coked-out Freud. you'll l


(...oh wait.)
Click to expand...

Okay so your saying I need to get a life enable to get a girl...

get a job
get my own place
get hobbies and make friends.
Basically be happy with myself and the girls will come? Is that what your saying man?
 
don't let anyone else define what 'life' is for you.

but it's clear to me that you feel something is lacking.

maybe you aren't even completely aware of what that is yet. but you are off to a start.

i can almost assure you it is much more than just relationships. but they are an important aspect of anyone's life.

so do what makes you happy.

what can you do with your life now that will make you happy in the future?

go get it.
 
jam uh weezy said:
what can you do with your life now that will make you happy in the future?

go get it.
Click to expand...

My own place- I hate living here at home with my parents, I'm 22 I want my own freedom. I'm thankful to have a car. I guess I need to start looking for a job asap or option B: Get my shit together and go to college and get a part time job.

Either way. I've thought of all this before and it's like my brains not capable of doing it. Like theres a giant wall holding me back from getting to the otherside of the wall..its weird.
 
My gender can be kinda stupid sometimes. lol You could probably get some girl even while doing nothing, and then the girl will also mooch off your parents or you guys will fight all the time about never doing anything, she gets pregnant, and then you guys are stuck in a rut. This is why it makes sense to date someone with some kind of ambition to do something with themselves. But most girls with any kind of head on her shoulders wants someone with some kind of ambition. If all you do is workout and live with your parents with no job or desire to do something with yourself, that's a real turnoff.
 
You mean you haven't already been looking for a job?

Sigh.
 
We sound quite alike, except I might be getting out of my rut sooner than you because I have an engineering degree now. And I'm not sure of you do this but I smoke weed from morning til night every day, I exercise like a maniac though... weights, yoga, running, cycling, swimming etc. Yeah it's fucking bullshit I agree with the punk thing - I always see girls with little punks - but I think I am getting much better at talking to them. The thing is I am so damn isolated and dwell in past regrets cause I don't really meet girls anymore.

Not having a job, and trying to get one is a godawful experience around here. I live with my parents too and I cannot wait til the fucking day someone hires me as an engineer but it's already been a year of interviews and no luck. There is so much I want to do and so little I can do without a career.

I'm slightly older than you and I was never all that depressed before, but I am definately suffering from some pretty crushing depression and loneliness these days. The longer you stay in this rut, the worse you will become.

You obviously need to get a job, but I can't really offer you any advice on that. I have been giving it my all for months and so far it's been a waste of countless hours of job searching, and I am basically borderline suicidal now.
 
Journey said:
Okay so your saying I need to get a life enable to get a girl...

get a job
get my own place
get hobbies and make friends.
Basically be happy with myself and the girls will come? Is that what your saying man?
Click to expand...

There are people who are literally in to all kinds of men. I know a guy (one of my best friend's brothers) who is our age, has no job, plays video games all day without working out. He has a girlfriend and is happily in love. I also know people in the same situation who struggle, or the opposite situation (all the money you could imagine, driven as shit, no girl, or a girl who is similar)

I've always found that the harder you try, and the more you focus on the things you DONT have, the more often you WONT end up with them. I've had sex with 54 women in my life, the 54th being the one I'm with right now and probably will stay with forever. I've only had, however, 2 serious girlfriends. The last one was a whorebag and walked all over me (go figure, i was the classic alpha male before her, and got shit all over. maybe karma, who knows.) My current one aka future wife is fucking amazing, yet we still have our issues of course.

The point of my story? The two times i fell in love i was absolutely NOT looking for it. I was in college at the #1 party school in America (ill leave that up to your imagination) and loving life. After i turned 21 a few months later i met a chic who i wasn't even really that into (i actually tried to bang her room mate that night). She kept calling me for months and months and i ended up dating her for 3 years.

The one im with now (before i met her) i was working out, in the best shape of my life, getting girls, partying in my favorite city every weekend having an incredible time with ZERO intention of having a girlfriend. I met her at a baseball game that was supposed to be a drunk fest with two college friends and sparks flew. Didn't hang out again for 8 months. Once we started hanging out and going to shows together, i couldn't stop hanging with her and she was the same way towards me. Addicted to each other. We now live together and are happily moving through life. Again, there are occasional issues, one we are working on right now that i posted about a few days back, but I'm happy as hell when it comes down to it.

Also, don't try to change your life to meet someone else, you'll end up with someone you (most likely) wont want to be with in a few years. I sacrificed so much of myself in my first relationship that it actually became scary to friends and family. Looking back, the only things she had to offer was a hot body and a wet pussy. Great. Not worth the 3 years of emotional torture and constant stress just to have great sex. In fact, my newest partner has all those things and everything else i could ask for. She's smart, driven, sexy, ambitious, parties, laughs, etc. Its cool, you'll find her, you're just not ready yet apparently. No big deal my dude, don't stress. And yes, being happy with who you are is important too, its very attractive to meet people who appreciate themselves (we all have insecurities, but those who don't use them as a crutch are noticeably hotter than those who do)

i end with a quote: you gotta be there for yourself before you can be there for anyone else.
 
You're not going to meet someone spending your days watching movies and running around the lake.

And once you don't get laid for a long while you become invisible to girls, because it will kill your self confidence.

You should get into things that enable you to meet people, getting a job for instance might help you accomplish this.

If you're anything like me as well, this is making you severely depressed, which girls see as a huge turnoff. Sure you can be there for yourself, but there's nothing to love about watching your 20's pass you by as you get zero sex, when you sound like a fit alpha male but are just a little introverted. I dunno, this has completely fucked over my life and I am slowly becoming hooked on confidence boosting drugs.
 
If you don't want to work that's up to you BUT you should plan on moving out of your parents house at some point, so they don't have to pay your way anymore :)
 
When I began reading your post, I literally chuckled. I mean, you need to look at it like this; a girl who is someone worthly of a decent LT relationship is going to want someone with something to offer. What do you have to offer seriously; no job, no home, no education, living with parents and all of this screams - NO AMBITION! No worthy woman wants a man with no ambition, period. So, I'd suggest "growing up" and add a "yes" to all of the things marked above with a "no". Then you'll probably scream, self-confidence and self-worth! Then, you'll be a "man" that women will want to get to know. That's it in a nutshell! No one said it'd be easy but the formula is really quite simple. Good Luck with all of that!
 
Your still young dude. Your at the age where your beginning your journey of self discovery. Forming your identity. The fact that you dont have any of those things make you feel lost. I know man i was the same way. But when it comes down to it man atleast get a job. Some girls dont care about all that stuff but if you dont work or have ambition its a turnoff. Thats like the only requirement you need to get started heh. Shoot man get a hard labor job. Itll help you become more confident in your body. They suck but its a start. Then youll become more confident in yourself and girls will see that. Just dont get too caught up in this. When you make it a problem it will show. Who cares if you dont have a girl yet. When its time it will happen. Usually when you atleast expect it.
 
I was in your exact position not too long ago (literally, down to height and everything). I eventually got a decent job and started being active all the time, and suddenly I had a life and lots of attention from females. It all worked out after I put myself in the position to attain what I wanted.
 
Journey said:
I'm been told many many times that I'm attractive. I'm 6'1, with a swimmers body. (toned/athletic).

I'm 22. Live with my parents. No job. Not in college.

This is my daily routine:

1.Wake Up and shower.
2.Go for a jog around the lake and even lay out by the lake to get a nice tan.
3.Go home and mess around on the computer.
4.Stay up late at night watching movies on my computer until I fall asleep.

I REPEAT that routine 7 days/week.

I chat with women on various social networking sites but I feel like even if a girl did wanna hangout I have nothing to show for myself. Who would want to be with me when I have no job,college education,my own place etc.

Not only that- I see all these cute girls dating guys that I feel are way less attractive to me and are punks (not trying to be cocky because I'm not, and who knows if they're punks because I dont know them I'm just saying it seems like it.)

Are girls interested more in a guy having a job, going to college, and having his own place more then a good looking guy with a nice sense of humor? Is that what my probelm is- because I dont have a job/money?

Its driving me crazy! I take care of myself by hitting the gym, tanning, and lots of girls think im cute but NOTHING comes out of it... one night stands here and there.. PLUS, the girls I'm interested in are NOT interested in me.

Can anybody give me some advice?

Probably getting a job would be a good start eh?
:?
Click to expand...

How do you support yourself? Do you get an allowance for doing chores? I'm really confused by your way of life - obviously I don't know you or anything about you....but if one of my kids described her life like this I'd wonder what the hell I did wrong in raising them. Are your parents willing to pay for school? Cuz that would be awesome. And you have transportation so you can obviously get out and about....get a job. I know it sounds so difficult inside your head, but maybe seeing the words will help you realize it's a pretty simple problem to overcome.

I wish you the best, have fun and be safe!! :)
 
Yeah, a job would be a good start.
I'm 21, graduated from college, have been living on my own for a few years (since the start of college), and I now have a pretty cool job. What I'm looking for in a guy is someone who at least has ambition. My boyfriend makes less than me but it's not a big deal, he's in college, he works part time, like he's doing something!
Yes, a job IS important. If you don't have a job, you need to be looking for a job, at least IMO. If you can't do that, even volunteering is good.
 
as a 22 year old guy, your looks won't really get you that far (unless they land you a lucrative modeling contract or a wealthy, generous divorcee - which they apparently haven't). those other guys you see with girlfriends don't just have girlfriends because they have money. they have girlfriends because they have things to talk about, social activities to attend, and the kind of confidence that comes from not living with your parents. i'm not trying to hate on you, just trying to make it clear that this is a truth you can't avoid.

i was kind of in the same position for a little while, and i know firsthand. i'd been laid off from a good job, broke up with my girlfriend, and was waiting tables living with my parents. i'm a tall, athletic guy who worked out all the time (nothing else to do). had a good friend group and didn't really have any trouble meeting girls. but knowing that you're going to have to bullshit a little when they ask what you do really wears on your confidence. and it's hard to have swagger when you don't have anywhere to take a girl home to. i finally got into grad school, and it changed my whole outlook. met my current gf of 2 years literally two weeks before classes started, before i'd even moved out of my parents'. so it's not like you've gotta drive a porsche and make six figures - you've just gotta have some shit going on so you have some confidence and something real to talk about.
 
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