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Welcome Why are you not getting laid vs I'm reading your cards

Atelier3 said:
I’m much more interested in a quality relationship with someone than I am in long term drug use. My benders fill the hole where someone should be I think - during my last serious relationship I took no serious drugs for four years because I was high on the love and the better than average sex that brings with it.

But I am a generally impulsive person which is exacerbated by mania from time to time. Women my age (early 50s) seem to be looking for predictability and stability which I am not good at. But as the song says “there’s someone for everyone” and I just need to keep my eyes open.
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Wow. This is kinda tripping me out a little as it's more than familiar to me on a number of levels. I know what it's like to fill a void with drugs - both the lack of a person and also the wrong person <3

Without going in to detail, I can tell you from first hand experience that it sounds like you will happen across the right person when it's right. I'm almost 43, and my guy is 46. It took us this long to find each other, we live on opposite sides of the world, but the heart wants what the heart wants and we truly want to be with each other. He is also a bluelighter, which is cool, and he's been around longer than me, if you can believe it - i'm practically geriatric in bluelight years :ROFLMAO:
 
Tubbs said:
I work 16 hours a day sober and have no social life... so probably that....
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Wow man that's a lot of work, are you doing OK? Like are you happy with the job you have, is it rewarding/fulfilling?

You're a really cool guy and I know long hours can really be a drain - I am proud of you, at least.

If it's any consolation a guy with a job is a HUGE PLUS to tons of women (or in my case gay guys) - don't feel dejected about not getting laid. Women don't need to be coddled 24/7 and they like a man with income because he can do things for her etc.

(forgive me if I'm incorrectly assume you're straight but if I recall correctly I think you like the women)

Just keep your eyes peeled.
 
^ So true. It doesn't matter what the job is, but a good work ethic is an extremely attractive quality, in my eyes. I can totally take care of myself, but being with someone who can take care of themselves is hot, and makes me want to give them some extra TLC <3 But i agree with Mr CH up here - definitely make sure you're looking after your health (mental and physical) - 16 hour days sound like a slog <3
 
Samadhi said:
^ So true. It doesn't matter what the job is, but a good work ethic is an extremely attractive quality, in my eyes. I can totally take care of myself, but being with someone who can take care of themselves is hot, and makes me want to give them some extra TLC <3 But i agree with Mr CH up here - definitely make sure you're looking after your health (mental and physical) - 16 hour days sound like a slog <3
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even doing what I dream to do, like writing, or whatever, 16 hours totally socially deprived me and I was a totally different person - and I did I spent every waking hour for many months writing only leaving to get more alcohol (should have done that during the lockdown but hey can't control destiny i guess; this was several years ago)

but I liked that, and it enabled me to do accomplish great things but I still urge people to evaluate what they want in life

and at least if they value it to take pride in it because they're worth it
 
nznity said:
Coz I'm an ugly druggie,. Check my pics on the selfie thread xp
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step 1: buzz cut your own hair
step 2: face mask
step 3: dick pic

I'd be chasing the mamas with your thing if I were you lol

if using becomes a problem

step 4: stay sober until after mutual orgasm, then harm reduction-wise stay safe and start slow, know your limits?

HONESTLY, sober boner -> quicker orgasm, just my experience, but can be stoned, or 1-2 beers but preferably none (1 helps with anxiety when no meds :|)

no rush to the finish line though. it's a marathon, not a race :love:
 
Tubbs said:
Job isn't too bad cap, and the money is definitely nice, (I make more than some of our drivers).... im just tired all the time
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I'm really glad to hear you're doing well for yourself man, you're such an amazing guy I knew you'd do great things :)

Know when to take a break/vacation or call in a sick day when you need it. I imagine work is fulfilling though because I know that feel of "Wow I'm exhausted but yeah it feels good to know I have a check coming" - it's a great feeling.

Eventually someone will notice you for who you are and like your effort. If you can put 16 hours a day into work you could easily put in the work for a relationship (some people barely put in the effort in theirs etc) - don't worry. It'll be happening before you know it I'm sure.
 
I learned game but lately I'm reserved. Mainly because I have no desire to seek out people. It tires me because well, it's a tiresome job

Trying to find someone you don't know is already off putting. Then engaging them and bringing them back to your pad is kind of tiring too, especially when you don't know who they are

I haven't done anything sexual for a few years but it's because of that. I mean doing something with a stranger is basically prostitution to me

I know the logistics but it's hard to get the other person to consistently go along with it. That doesn't make me celibate but I'm tired of it. That's for sure

I think intimacy is important too by the way, but I've never had that and it makes me sad :)
 
My life revolves around drugs (and using them alone).

I’m scared to talk to girls.

It’s a shame because I’m probably around 85th percentile in terms of attractiveness.

I haven’t had sex with a girl except prostitutes since my last relationship ended over drug use 3.5 years ago.

I have had sex while I was working as a prostitute. However it was all with men and I’m really not into that...
 
I used to blame my alcoholism

Then I quit for over a year but despite the fact it’d been >2 years since my last encounter.

As nice as it’d be to get laid I just can’t be bothered to put in the leg work.

As cheesy as it sounds ..I’d rather find a partner than simply get laid... but that’s even more work. So I’m just vibing being single atm
 
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