• ✍️ WORDS ✍️

    Welcome Guest!

  • Words Moderators: Shambles

Who Is She?

  • Thread starter Thread starter TJ
  • Start date Start date

TJ

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 14, 2002
Messages
986
Location
So. Cali
Who Is She?
5/6/2005

By Erik Simpson and TJ

He was.....
Merely a new born babe
Sweet boy
An immortal Kupie Doll god

Son of Adonis
Walking along us
Peculiar mortals
Donning the birthday

As Aryan Lords
Head first, feet fast
Perfect in all ways
In spite of sporting

This time of all times
To be revered by
Kingdoms having come
Kingdoms having gone

As time marches on
His face forever
More lovely than
The bride's song
Where has she gone?

They say that she
Had been running from
Kupid and his rainbow
Gel arrow and rum

She had frolicked under
Lightening blue & frozen
Spring ice popsicles too
Galloping so happily

The young Aryan son
So playfully, so skillfully
Shot his bow and
Gallantly his arrow

In the left wing
Through the breast
Of the lady raven sparrow
Exclaiming so gleefully

"If I was there
I'd fix you right up
And then we would
Never come down again!

Mama come over
To my side
I'll hide you from
The bright light that cuts you

Like lasers from some
Already seen light show
By the band you never liked
All that much....

Especially when put to light
Quit holding yourself
Up by the small talk
Of the tiny lives that will suck

The good mornings
From your soul
You rock!
You could melt me down

And into your arms
I could stay forever
I think about you
You know I do

Am I really that obvious
When tranquilized?
I get lost
In that sketch again
And again

A good witch you are
For I have held onto you
Anything for you
Just give me something
To ease the pain

So good to my mind
So evil to my veins
Magick crystals powdered by Goddess
The Crystal Ship sails down

Grabbing my candy coat
I'm on my feet
I'm on the floor
I'm good to go

So come on honey
Shoot me with something
So we can blow our
Get to know ya's

And get straight to the Good Part
Is it time to take my medicine?
Mama slam me home
Recharge me

Make me digital
The world looks better to me
When it's measured up in your CC's
I'd love to love you"

Hail Kupid
My blond, blue eyed beauty
Draw back your bow
And do your duty

Hail Kupid
You bad boy stud
You son of Adonis
Son of man whores
gigolos and duds

Hail Kupid
Hail to your dad, the King
Let us celebrate the son of lust
You luscious young thing!

Tossing Kupid a sculpted rose
Humbly submitting it at his toes
A rose dyed red
Made out of the finest meth

I've taken a glass hit
Has my Prince seen fit
To walk me down the aisle
Wearing His Magesty's
Million dollar smile?


I've dyed my white gown red
Do you find me fit for you to wed
Kissing under starlight on our
Post nuptial Vegas bed?

God knows I love you
I hope you do
But is it enough
My blond boy blue?

Flawed as I am with
Another secret lover
The Jealous One
Declares he wants
To have a bit of fun

When his lips for me part
His steel kiss is sharp
He has pierced my vein
I've now a crimson stain

To paint my lips ruby red
My make up bag left behind
In a deserted home I once dined
By an empty bottle of lithium pills

Claiming I've 3 more refills
In exchange for 2 hundred bills
Sporting George Washington
For the price of my thrills

So out here in the City of Sin
The carnal capital where
Sodom and Gomorrah had once been
Lady of the night, that's me

Walked the streets for a price
Took back my Pretty Power
On a young man's advice
$155 cash for thirty minutes and one hour

Will you have me
Will you want me
As the other half of a team
Working toward a common dream?

Marriages never last forever
But a five year partnership
Would it bond or would it sever?
In my heart of hearts

You're my comfort
And my joy
You're my play mate
And my toy

You're my friend
I hope forever more
Perhaps a new chapter
Together to explore?

You've always been
A golden boy
Fun, playful, pain, and joy
I long since thought

You had gone away
To wherever life led,
But astray
Then per chance I read today

You've a bride in the fall to wed?
In September's season of leaves
And night time breeze
Falling off trees, cooler colors

Long sleeves and skirts
Must be worn lest you freeze
In the City of Sin that never sleeps
Where March 28, 1964

Once inside the chapel door
Mama eloped, 4 months gone
Became the 2nd bride of a pony
I'm the 2nd child of Tony

Crazy daughter, rebel bride
Do you want me by your side?
Do you love me indeed?
Even for only a 5 year bridal deed?

If you do or if you don't
I want you to say
You will or you won't
I heard nothing, so took silence

To mean you'd other plans instead
I'd fled my nest
To continue with my life
New chapter, full speed ahead

Heart was broke,
But it's all good
I love your friendship
It's understood


Got 2 new jobs
Day and night
Pulled out of a 3 month
Depression, fucking fright

Drawing strength by the hour
You were right about Pretty Power
Now I read you've a bride to be
I wish you'd tell me
Who is she?
 
It's difficult to find words to respond to this man
You tell an amazing story here and you tell it amazingly well.
It's hard to offer criticism because I'm still blown away out of my mind

Some comments and suggestions are that the few stanzas that are 5 lines do not seem to follow any sort of pattern to their placement in the poem, and should probably be made 4 line to fit the rest of the rhythm?

I love the on-off rhyme sceme. The infrequent use of couplets really adds to the imagery and the flow of the poem. The rhyme sceme seen in this stanza for example (as well as the one following it) really stands out as the best of the work.

I've dyed my white gown red
Do you find me fit for you to wed
Kissing under starlight on our
Post nuptial Vegas bed?
The second half of the poem (stanzas 28 through 48) are a little weaker overall than the first 27, but still communicate the story nicely.

The last two, are absolutely astounding, a perfect conclusion.
Dude I must say it again:
this is an incredible piece of work.
Rock on to you.
I hope this is bumped for a while.
 
Top