white out

[potato]

static drifts and shifts
through my head
white noise turns to grey
then black.

Blackness hides secrets
Whiteness holds nothingness

My mind is never blank,
cold winds sweep throughout me
as I consider icy thoughts.

Ice melts
not with love or passion,
but with rage.

 

[cherub]

very different piece of work,, interesting !

 

[RareForm]

indeed a haunting piece.

 

[not_broken_420]

Interesting...I like it.

 

[Mary Poppins]

i like it except for the couplet "black hides secrets, whiteness holds nothingness" which seems a little too trite for the rest of the piece which evokes significant imagery.

i love your writing potato

 

[potato]

That line meant more to me at the time, as I stared outside into the night I realised that black is not the colour of the void at all. White is the colour of unbeing.

Thank you all for your comments and compliments.

 

[Mary Poppins]

^ that actually totally makes a lot more sense to me now ...i guess just another example of how critiquing poetry/prose really is just stabbing in the dark.