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Which one do you consider cheating??

What situation do you consider 'cheating'?

  • Situation #1 is cheating

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Situation #2 is cheating

    Votes: 83 60.6%
  • BOTH situations #1 & #2 are cheating

    Votes: 44 32.1%
  • Neither situation #1 or #2 is cheating

    Votes: 2 1.5%
  • Other - I will post my thoughts

    Votes: 8 5.8%

  • Total voters
    137

drews_secret

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 15, 2007
Messages
186
Alight kiddies...I am going to tell you all two stories and I want you guys to tell me which one you consider cheating.
(I would like a poll started, but am unsure of how to start one)

Story number 1:
There is a lonely house wife who does everything for her family..cooks, cleans, pet chores, PTA meetings, sewing clothes, yard work and more.
She has been married to her husband for almost 20 years and were high school sweet hearts, her husband works a regular job, but is getting no where in his career, in which his spare time is spent with his buddies at sport events and the local bar in which puts a strain on his marriage, comes home most nights late and on weekend doesnt spend time with his family.
Now the wife suddenly takes interest in cooking classes and leaves the husband home with the kids.
She meets the instructor, who is a handsome younger man who takes a interest in the wife and invites her for private classes, she accepts.
Over the next few weeks the wife is gone about 4 nights a week doing private classes, over a corse of time, the instructor starts buying her small gifts, not jewelry or flowers but cookwear and a apron with her name on it.
She begins to spend more and more time with the instructor, laughing, feeding eachother, drinking wine and small outings together in which are apart of her cooking classes.
Her husband finally is catching on, shes not going to the classes for learning, shes going because the intructor gives her undivided attention, physical contact, conversation and alot more that she wasnt getting at home.
So to break this down, the wife and the instructor are not having any sort of sexual relationship, nor talks sexual to eachother, but enjoy eachothers company and conversation in which neither were getting at home..is this cheating?


Story number 2:
A happily married man goes out with his buddies every friday night to watch the game at the sports bar, he loves his wife and his children are his pride and joy, life couldnt get better.
The husband gets home from work to find his wife packing, two of their close friends are getting married and eloping to vegas later that night and had invited them to go.
So they all land in vegas, the men go their way and the women go theirs for a night on the town for bachlor and bachlotette parites.
Well into the night, the ladies night has come to a end, with someone sleeping in the bath tub and 4 people on one bed, as for the guys, theyre still out.
They would up going to a strip club and getting really drunk.
The husband who tagged along to see his friend get married grew infatuated with one of the dancers and was talking with her all night and wound up walking her to her car at closing time.
She invites him to her place for a night cap, he accepts thinking there is nothing wrong with it.
They get there and she changes into something skimpy, he cant keep his eyes off her, she makes the first move and takes his hand and puts it on her breast, he knows its wrong but cant resist....they wind up having sex, with him cheating sexually on his wife.
While he is in the shower, his phone rings and its his wife to see where he is, the stripper picks it up and says hello, the wife hangs up.
To break this down...the husband is a happily married man, good job, wonderful wife and loves his children, nothing wrong with the marriage.
Went home with a stripper and slept with her with out thinking about it, is this cheating?
 
#1 the man would have a cause for jealousy and being worried as she is spending more nights than not with the other man... i'd start getting rather worried.
#2 cheating.
 
ladyinthesky said:
soo... my question for you

has one of these happened to you? or did you do #2
Well as you all know I am divorced, my ex husband was cheating on me, but neither of these have happened to me.
Last night me and the s/o were watching tv and these to things happened in the movie...he seems to think that if a woman were to start doing stuff with another man like in story number one, it would be considered cheating more so than if a man had sex with another woman because it didnt mean anything to him...but I think its the other way around.
 
drews_secret said:
if a woman were to start doing stuff with another man like in story number one, it would be considered cheating more so than if a man had sex with another woman because it didnt mean anything to him...but I think its the other way around.

That isn't true in my opinion. Personally i feel that GM knocked it on the head, if she was trying to hide it from him it can be consider cheating. Otherwise even if he knew i would say he had full right to be worried / jealous...
the 2nd one is cheating. <-- FULL STOP. It is MORE of cheating than what the girl did as the girl didnt actually commit the act.
 
Last edited:
#1 is what I would consider having an emotional affair. Personally, I would be much more hurt by that sort of cheating than something that was a one time thing that was purely physical (#2). :\
 
QuestionEverything said:
#1 is what I would consider having an emotional affair. Personally, I would be much more hurt by that sort of cheating than something that was a one time thing that was purely physical (#2). :\

I second that.
People get way too worked up over the physical angle. Scenario #1 is much more potentially harmful.
 
number one was more of a subtle way of "cheating".. if you can even call it that, but i believe that this kind of "cheating" can evolve into something much more dangerous than something just physical.. although if it was me in either of these situations, scenario #2 would make me fucking furious.
 
Umm number 1 would suck if you were the guy, but it wouldn't be cheating, esp not if the woman told the husband what was going on.

Number 2 is definitly cheating even if it was meaningless sex.. it would suck more to be that woman, even tho it'd be less painful than a drawn out thing in scenerio number 1..

Funny thing is one of my friends hooked up with this 40 yo woman from his work that was married and she ended up staying with her hubbie cause she was scarred of losing her kids in a divorce, my friend ended up quitting the job and breaking it off after 2 years.. haha my friend = player
 
Net_Raven said:
That isn't true in my opinion. Personally i feel that BB knocked it on the head, if she was trying to hide it from him it can be consider cheating. Otherwise even if he knew i would say he had full right to be worried / jealous...

Hey? I haven't postd in this thread yet. Do you mean, GM?

#1. I don't think it's cheating. That's normal human behaviour. If you're not getting what you need at home you will look for it elsewhere. Do we honestly expect people to live emotionally unfulfilled lives so that they can live up to an arbitrary moral standard? You could easily argue that the husband in that scenario is cheating his wife by not appreciating her or spending time with his family.

#2. This is cheating. Frankly I don't buy that anyone just falls into bed with anyone else without thinking about it. There is always that moment where you go, "Shit, I'm about to have sex!"
People who are in relationships know then to back out. You can't tell me that anyone doesn't realise they are about to cheat when they do it. You don't just accidentally have sex with someone.
 
i think #2 is cheating, but in either scenarios there will be someone who gets hurt. if i were the person at home in #1 i think i would probably feel just as hurt and unwanted as #2.
 
I think they're both about the same. It all depends on the person, and in a lot of cases, ends up being divided by gender.

If my s/o were to get drunk or something and accidentally sleep with a guy that she might normally be attracted to, but was inhibited enough to not sleep with, I'd be hurt, furious, etc, but could possibly forgive a little easier than situation #1, where the wife is basically just still with the husband for the kids, and to maintain appearances.

Anybody, I don't care who, is subject to wanting or lusting after someone else, and it's all just a matter of control, which can at times be limited by substances. On the other hand, spending the kind of time with someone other than your s/o that's discussed in #1, that's falling in love, which would be far, far moire painful. It's easy to say everybody's human, yeah, they got drunk and cheated on me, but it hurts far more to admit that your loved on simply fell in love with someone else and forgot about you.
 
why ask the question? this thread proves something i think we already knew - the only definition of cheating which is relevant is that of those involved...

alasdair
 
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