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Where do you even meet people anymore?

My best relationships I've met at high school and college. I've also met two women in a train station and bus stop. One of them turned into a thing. I also banged a greenlighter last year and we "dated" long distance.

I've always wanted to meet the love of my life at work. IDK how i haven't already. I guess im too professional.
 
Headphones@LSD I know its frustrating and for me I planned for failure and success at the same time, it was one of the other, and it fucking sucked every fucking second every fucking minute every fucking hour every fucking day. I write this sitting in my garage, my wife is home, I'm home, and our kids are thriving. Don't ever give up.
 
I think the best place to meet people is at bars. I know that sounds crappy but it's not a bad place to start at least. I've tried with Facebook and met a few people, but it's very hit and miss because I always had to have some sort of friend in common with them to make it work and get their number. Some people are good at that though

I guess there are various dating groups you can look into although I've never tried any of that because I worry that the other person is going to be insane or something. Not worth the effort to me, especially if it's online then it's hard to know what's going on in real life with these people. Not to sound negative, you might know what to do and what to look out for
 
You can meet people anywhere. You just gotta be willing to talk to people.

I dunno I've never really understood the whole dating thing, I don't really get the idea of specifically trying to meet people for the purpose of dating.

I've never used dating or social networking services, I've just met a guy, and either started talking to him, or he started talking to me, and we got to know each other, and eventually we got closer.

Wherever people are, is a chance to meet people and begin a new relationship. It can be anywhere really.

Maybe I'm not the right person to talk about this though, I've never felt desperate to get into a relationship. I've always just let them happen on their own.
 
You just gotta be willing to talk to people.

I think this is very true. Although I am hopeless at relationships, I am pretty sure that just engaging with people (i.e. women) simply as interesting people rather than as potential dates/fuckbuddies/romantic partners etc is the winning strategy. I expect just investing a bit of time in just knowing someone as a person is likely to lead to more sustainable and productive kinds of relationship in the long term.

However, to the OP's point, you need to have the kind of lifestyle that brings you in contact with interesting people to begin with. That comes primarily from getting involved in community, religious, sporting and cultural activities depending on your interests. I recently joined my community dog-training club and went from barely interacting with women to spending half of every saturday chatting away with all kinds of women over our common interest. It hasn't led to anything even potentially romantic but in addition to helping me to stay off drugs it has greatly reduced my loneliness.
 
I was lucky to meet current partner in high school; if it wasn't middle school or high school it was at my friends house in his quite older sisters room;

Facebook, rehab, and websites listing the services of certain workers have all had a 100% success rate; but no one you want to settle down with probably

Idk it is difficult but I think you either gotta go out to bars or other functions or use the internet; or community stuff as posted above

I never resorted to tinder or bumble but they work for many people

I tend to prefer the dark ambience of a strip club and the smile of someone I'm paying to please me, to the dead eyed glare of someone I've been w/ forever that requires a lot of work

Relationships overrated but I'm probably just in a slump

None of this has reduced my loneliness though

Alot of times it comes out of nowhere despite your best planning so don't become too jaded or impatient; it'll happen
 
Jess and deficiT basically summed me up as well.

Just wanted to add that i personally want to be more proactive because when i just let things happen often i attract the type of woman that I'm all too used to and a bit jaded with.

But like jess said ive never really been desperate for a relationship unless one just ended and i temporarily lost what i had. Then i can seem desperate to make amends because it's usually my fault lol

@JessFR
@deficiT
 
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Yea I understand. What I meant was while the place listed tons of different things people were into all the local women in my area seemed to be into things I'm not. I'm not really after basing an entire relationship around a fetish. I have my own like everyone but I don't think it's something I'll find in the area I live in. When I lived in a large city there were just more women there in my age group. I miss the diversity and ability to meet new and interesting people all of the time. Where I live now it's just old married couples and young kids. My age group makes up like 2% of the local population. Most people moved away like I did and most didn't come back. I only came back for family obligations but now I'm terrified that by the time they're all gone I'm going to be the age they are now with no one to spend my life with.

I feel like I'm in a mid-life crisis. I keep having the thought that if I don't find someone soon I never will. As a result I probably come off a bit desperate which is never a turn on. It's a big change from just a few years ago when I felt like I had all the time in the world. Once I got my life stable again and obtained things like a house these thoughts really set in bad. I feel like I have no other goals anymore.



I broke things off with two girls due to my drug use. I didn't want to hide it from them or drag them down with me. How did you sell yourself on Okcupid? I hate talking about myself and filling out a profile on those places is where I always give up. I feel like I'm being full of myself and worry about people I know finding my profile on places like that. I suppose it has gotten normal now and there is less stigma about it but I come from the times where you weren't supposed to use your real name on the internet and anyone that would try to date people online was a huge loser.
God damn too bad you're not in Oregon...
 
You guys are killing me. I literally cry for anyone who didn't get to experience the 80s from ages 17 to 25. It was better than anything you could have seen in any movie or read about. It was the great last decade where every place you went was exciting, and everyone you encountered was another new friend or future ex-something or other. We were still ignorant of AIDS and the drugs were better and classier in the sense that everyone went to work and everyone did drugs. Even meth -- which was "crank" back then, where one line would keep you up for four days. Literally.
There were still virgins in high school and college, and less worked in offices out of high school and instead went to universities.
There was no GPS, but we found where we had to go and we could get lost and no one would know where we were unless we wanted them to know. There were groups of people, gangs, in towns that had annual parties, and I had the time of my life and made one or two lifetime friends.
Commuting to work was real life "online surfing," meaning that the train into the city was a meat market and instead of staring down at phones and no one talking to anyone like to today, everyone was chatting and making plans, settng dates. The world was alive.

Technology is a problem. Step away from it and look up. I know this fucking virus has screwed everything up, but there is the right person that is looking for all of you as you are. You have to wait and be paitent. Dont be in a rush to put yourself in the the grind with someone you don't now isn't the one. I didn't meet mine until I was 56. It was worth the wait.

Best places to meet great girls now a days? Churches are packed with beautiful young women who will make the best lifetime partners and mothers, but you need to be a believer to. That is worth it . Catholic, maybe. Any Christian church denomination -- but the extreme religions like Mormons, etc., that is a whole different life.

See is her mother is a person you would like because we all turn into our parents when we get older -- it is a fact. And if any of the girl's have been in prison walk away -- or any drug addictions from the past -- women will tell you anything to catch you but then change afterward. So if you have pay for them, tolerate them, or like some said kids, exes, etc. forget it.

Another place would be any colleges in the master's programs, or even young professors. Being a bachelor that is aloof and has a daily jogging habit, etc. will become food for the babes.

It is tough with the shit you guys have to deal with in your generation. It is slim pickings and the class has gone right out of the women as well.

Stay strong, be an asshole and treat them like shit if you want to get laid -- women will always respond sexually to that behavior. Go firgure. I never did. But the damaged ones will flock.

Just my personal experiences and observations.
 
One of my ex friends once said "if I knew another guy Id wanna date Id leave my current guy". It still holds up as the weakest thing a person has ever said to me.

Literally anywhere, but the chances are that if your looking for a specific type of person you gotta know where to look.
 
Is everything online now? I gave up on social networks a couple of years ago. My friends keep trying to get me to sign up for some facebook-like fetish social network but I didn't want to list myself on something like that. Honestly, I'm not really interested in being tied up and having dildos rammed up my ass (most of the local women seem to be into that stuff from a quick glance).

Since COVID every place I used to go to meet new people has closed shop or gone out of business. The only social functions I know of are attended by people either double or half my age. It's like I'm living in a black hole where all the women are too young, too old, or my age and already taking care of multiple kids. I got to thinking about my last few girlfriends today and realized I met every single one of them through my work place or temp. jobs. I have a rule now that I don't mess with girls from work so the pool of women in my life has dried up to nothing. Half my friends are single and having the same problems I am. The other half are married or have long term girlfriends. I don't see them very often anymore and when I do they're so busy with their own lives they don't have time to hang out for very long.

Where should I look if I'm interested in meeting women that are open to the idea of kids, marriage, and the white picket fence? Where are these so-called "normal people" hiding? I'm even having problems making friends on video games these days. It used to be I could go to random websites, or play games on random servers, and people there would actually chat and eventually become a friend. Now when I try to play video games I never hear anyone in voice chat. Everyone is in a private channel with their group of friends. No one wants to speak to the randoms and if you do get invited to their group chat you can't get a word in edge wise.

It's frustrating. The rare times I do meet new people I never hear from them again because I don't use social networking. If you tell someone you aren't on facebook they look at you funny and think you're lying to them.

We live in weird times my friend, COVID SUCKS!
Im also off 99% of all social-media. Pretty close to completely unplugging but then I wouldn't have online-music and informative sites like bluelight, etc, wouldn't be able to pay-bills and such. But Im fantasizing about making a schedule for internet and cell-phone use like only have the phone on for like 4 hours and the router plugged in for 4 hours a day.

Minimize radiation and screen addiction, live in reality!

Get my hands dirty with some funny DIY projects, write, read, poetry, draw?


Anyway good time to realize that it's not going to be the most fantastic and socially amazing year, and work on self-love, self-improvment, health, home improvement, etc. So that when this pandemic passes you will have the coolest pad, a "rockin' bod" and all these cool projects you've accomplished that you can feel proud about, that will improve your self-esteem and natural attraction!

Maybe pick up an instrument or learn some other creative craft?

No point running around out-side trying to have fun and being social in these dysphoric/dystopic Corona times,
it's like setting yourself up for failure and shitty experiences. 😇✌🏼( Or maybe Im negative but thats how I feel!)

And when the bloody pandemic is over I will try to (if possible) meet real people, who are not always glancing on their phone... I think there is a growing nr of people like us, who want to live in reality more.

But where are we supposed to connect? Through some app? 😉

I hope there will be some type of movement with people who are sick of it, and hopefully there will be bars and cafes that will cater to people who need a break from smartphone addiction?

Maybe something like "Narcotics Anonymous (NA)" but for smartphones/social-media?! That would be fun!!!
🙂🙏
 
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