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Where do you even meet people anymore?

HeadphonesandLSD

HeadphonesandLSD

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 10, 2011
Messages
1,710
Is everything online now? I gave up on social networks a couple of years ago. My friends keep trying to get me to sign up for some facebook-like fetish social network but I didn't want to list myself on something like that. Honestly, I'm not really interested in being tied up and having dildos rammed up my ass (most of the local women seem to be into that stuff from a quick glance).

Since COVID every place I used to go to meet new people has closed shop or gone out of business. The only social functions I know of are attended by people either double or half my age. It's like I'm living in a black hole where all the women are too young, too old, or my age and already taking care of multiple kids. I got to thinking about my last few girlfriends today and realized I met every single one of them through my work place or temp. jobs. I have a rule now that I don't mess with girls from work so the pool of women in my life has dried up to nothing. Half my friends are single and having the same problems I am. The other half are married or have long term girlfriends. I don't see them very often anymore and when I do they're so busy with their own lives they don't have time to hang out for very long.

Where should I look if I'm interested in meeting women that are open to the idea of kids, marriage, and the white picket fence? Where are these so-called "normal people" hiding? I'm even having problems making friends on video games these days. It used to be I could go to random websites, or play games on random servers, and people there would actually chat and eventually become a friend. Now when I try to play video games I never hear anyone in voice chat. Everyone is in a private channel with their group of friends. No one wants to speak to the randoms and if you do get invited to their group chat you can't get a word in edge wise.

It's frustrating. The rare times I do meet new people I never hear from them again because I don't use social networking. If you tell someone you aren't on facebook they look at you funny and think you're lying to them.
 
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HeadphonesandLSD said:
The only social functions I know of are attended by people either double or half my age. It's like I'm living in a black hole where all the women are too young, too old, or my age and already taking care of multiple kids.
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You're whole post hits home with me man, but specifically that part. The woes of being single in your 30's? Idk what to call it.

You're not alone.
 
Alot of guys who get into this situation usually go to south east asia and find a good women to marry who is loyal to you. In western society its alot harder to find a partner than some societies. Society is quite unfriendly these days, You can still find speed dating groups etc all around or taking up new hobbies but in ordinary day life its tough. I enjoy been single though i love my freedom though things can get lonely til i get myself in a better position in life to acutally be worth dating is when i will start to stress. For now i am just another acid head burn;t out on alot of fucking drugs
 
TripSitterNZ said:
I enjoy been single though i love my freedom though things can get lonely til i get myself in a better position in life to acutally be worth dating is when i will start to stress. For now i am just another acid head burn;t out on alot of fucking drugs
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I was saying this 10 years ago and now that I'm that better position I can't find anyone. By the time I got settled into my own home most of my close friends had either died or moved away. I don't mind the solitude and enjoy doing whatever I want but it gets boring after awhile. Don't worry about not being ready I wish I would have put in more effort when I was younger.

SnafuInTheVoid said:
You're whole post hits home with me man, but specifically that part. The woes of being single in your 30's? Idk what to call it.

You're not alone.
Click to expand...

Yeah same problem I'm having. Meeting girls isn't as much of a problem as meeting the right girl (at least before COVID). When I date girls in their early 20s it's like we can't relate on anything and I don't enjoy being around someone living their life through a cell phone. When I've dated girls my age they've always had kids and ex-husbands/boyfriends. People talk about being a real man and "stepping up" to raise someone elses kid but I'm done putting up with that. If a kid doesn't respect and listen to me what is the point? The last girl I dated had a 12 year old she let get away with anything. It only took so many times of hearing back talk and it being encouraged that I decided things weren't going to work out. I don't want to deal with other peoples kids and being stalked by the ex every time I come over or take them out.

I hear a bunch of talk about the quality of men being bad these days but in my experience the women aren't much better. I don't see the point of going out with people that are more interested in their cell phone than the activity we're supposed to be doing together. Everything feels like it's centered on meeting people then dumping them the next day. I don't understand where all the people that weren't into casual stuff ended up. I would say they're all married but in my age group I can't even name one friend locally that made that work. Everyone I know that got married young is divorced now.
 
HeadphonesandLSD said:
Honestly, I'm not really interested in being tied up and having dildos rammed up my ass (most of the local women seem to be into that stuff from a quick glance)
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HeadphonesandLSD said:
sign up for some facebook-like fetish social network
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It is a fetish social group , afterall.
If you are goi g to try to socialize online- I think you need to stick to groups that possess traits and characteristics that fit your need.

If you are a die-hard Christian- there’s no need to sign up on an atheist social group. Catch my drift.
 
You should download the OkCupid app I've met alot of women there over the years and have good luck with them messaging back. The last two long-term relationships I was in I'd met the women on there and it was great. The reason my engagement broke of with the last one is I was struggling with my drug use and made alot of poor decisions. But all the women I've met from there always been real nice and I like getting to know people texting/calling before hand cuz by the time you meet in person it's like you know each other already. You really should give it a try you never know who you are going to meet.
 
iLoveYouWithaKnife said:
It is a fetish social group , afterall.
If you are goi g to try to socialize online- I think you need to stick to groups that possess traits and characteristics that fit your need.

If you are a die-hard Christian- there’s no need to sign up on an atheist social group. Catch my drift.
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Yea I understand. What I meant was while the place listed tons of different things people were into all the local women in my area seemed to be into things I'm not. I'm not really after basing an entire relationship around a fetish. I have my own like everyone but I don't think it's something I'll find in the area I live in. When I lived in a large city there were just more women there in my age group. I miss the diversity and ability to meet new and interesting people all of the time. Where I live now it's just old married couples and young kids. My age group makes up like 2% of the local population. Most people moved away like I did and most didn't come back. I only came back for family obligations but now I'm terrified that by the time they're all gone I'm going to be the age they are now with no one to spend my life with.

I feel like I'm in a mid-life crisis. I keep having the thought that if I don't find someone soon I never will. As a result I probably come off a bit desperate which is never a turn on. It's a big change from just a few years ago when I felt like I had all the time in the world. Once I got my life stable again and obtained things like a house these thoughts really set in bad. I feel like I have no other goals anymore.

Cosmic Charlie said:
You should download the OkCupid app I've met alot of women there over the years and have good luck with them messaging back. The last two long-term relationships I was in I'd met the women on there and it was great. The reason my engagement broke of with the last one is I was struggling with my drug use and made alot of poor decisions. But all the women I've met from there always been real nice and I like getting to know people texting/calling before hand cuz by the time you meet in person it's like you know each other already. You really should give it a try you never know who you are going to meet.
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I broke things off with two girls due to my drug use. I didn't want to hide it from them or drag them down with me. How did you sell yourself on Okcupid? I hate talking about myself and filling out a profile on those places is where I always give up. I feel like I'm being full of myself and worry about people I know finding my profile on places like that. I suppose it has gotten normal now and there is less stigma about it but I come from the times where you weren't supposed to use your real name on the internet and anyone that would try to date people online was a huge loser.
 
My profile is actually pretty brief @HeadphonesandLSD I talk about how I'm a cook for a living and some of my interests. Like how I'm into art, music, reading and etc. It's really important to answer alot of the survey questions to help match you up to people, the more you have in common with them the higher the compatibility percentage will be. Gotta select some good pictures and just be outgoing when messaging the woman. Obviously meeting up may take longer than it used to because of Covid but generally I'd meet a woman after a week of texting somewhere casual like a coffee spot or something.

I'm pretty good talking with woman in general once I'm comfortable and its key to get them laughing. Talking online for awhile gets them warmed up to you so that by the time you meet in person if your both attracted to eachother they are generally just as thirsty as you are. I've hooked up with a bunch of woman on there over the years and it is how I meet most of the women I date. I've been using that site for about a decade now.
 
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HeadphonesandLSD said:
Yea I understand.
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Gotcha. A lot of people grew up in small towns, as did I (left long long looooong haha) so I get it.
This is the only other thing I do have to say. Don’t get so down about it- as hard as it is. Is there any bigger cities close to you? It’s true that people find love when you least expect it. Maybe focus on even just trying to find regular friends (I know that could be deemed just as hard- especially the older we get). You never know... a friendship with someone might introduce you to someone else etc etc. maybe take the emphasis on trying to find love.
And hey! If all that fails... you never know. There’s been a ton of Bluelight love connections ☺☺☺
 
I feel you @HeadphonesandLSD I really do, it seems to me over the last few years the whole world has gone mad, everything is online these days & people judge you by one photo or how you look. I mean as long as you have all your arms, legs, eyes etc you can't be that bad looking (NO Kink shame etc upon someone on BL that may have a fetish for a old lady with no legs, a glass eye, one normal arm & the other a huge metal hook etc)

I've personally given up on any relationships, I find it so hard to relate to most people these days as most people are bloody dumb, their idea of "fun" is going out to a pub on a Friday night / Saturday night & that kind of lifestyle. I find it horrific to say the very least & the way our culture is these days you have to be "social" with your woman's friends which I would prefer to have my teeth pulled out by a Mexican Narco, can you imagine sitting in a noisy "trend" pub with 10 other people as they talk about how hard their Area Manager job is for example? At my age nearly everyone is married with at least one kid, I'm not married, never have been & have no kids. I'm going to become a wandering Holy man with a tribe of dogs that follow me around.
 
I feel this haaaaard

of course us BLers know the challenge of finding someone who puts up with our occasional excessive drug use. But besides even that it’s still hard to meet down to earth people

shit I’m 19 and in college - right when it should be easiest you would think - but I still struggle. A lot of people will feign “real ness” when in reality that is only their mask. They talk about how they love nature and music and meditation and all these things but when you go to do these things with them it’s easy to tell they prefer the idea of it not the actual act itself. To have something to talk about later not to enjoy the now. I’ve been lucky to find a small group of friends who are rather open sexually but that has its own difficulties and certainly isn’t the place to find a long term relationship. And as bi man I can confidently say that this sadly goes for both sexes
 
I've met most of my long term partners at raves, all 3 main ones in the last 15/16 years actually so now I'm here, single and because of coronavirus there's no clubs allowed open so no raves so now what lol, I tried online dating but it's not for me deleted all my apps after 2 weeks, and 2 dates with one bloke who got accused of looking like a FED by the bloke who served us our food lol, so I'm not sure how I'll meet anyone till we can go raving again
 
Believe it or not, not everything it's redacted. There are still sane people out there, you have to search'em -- they won't knock on your door, it happens but extremely rare.
 
Cosmic Charlie said:
You should download the OkCupid app
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According to the play store reviews the UI has changed recently and no one is rating it. And you only get 8 swipes a day before having to pay for monthly.
Im using tinder, badoo, bumble. Not been using them very much tbh. Made a few connections recently that have moved onto other platforms. Enough to keep me busy. None of them really want to meet becasue of covid. Theyre more happy to talk dirty and get themselves off to pics of my dick. But you get about 30-50 swipes a day on those 3 before having to pay anyway.
 
jhjhsdi said:
According to the play store reviews the UI has changed recently and no one is rating it. And you only get 8 swipes a day before having to pay for monthly.
Im using tinder, badoo, bumble. Not been using them very much tbh. Made a few connections recently that have moved onto other platforms. Enough to keep me busy. None of them really want to meet becasue of covid. Theyre more happy to talk dirty and get themselves off to pics of my dick. But you get about 30-50 swipes a day on those 3 before having to pay anyway.
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I've been using it recently and have deff been getting more than 8 swipes. You also wanna set your radious for pretty wide I go like 50 miles and the majority of women are generally in NYC which is great because I can just take train and meet them anywhere. You should really just download and try it cuz I'm not sure why they would say that. This morning I was for awhile looking around. I'm using the free one again but have paid for it in the past and in ways it is worth it cuz you see who likes you and just message them directly right now I have like 37 likes which seems pretty good. I'm sorta of picky tho and if a woman isn't thick/chubby I will not message them. I like how you can refine search to body type so they shoot all the big girls my way 😛
 
Coronavirus won't go on forever. Even if it lasts for two years that's not forever. Finding dates in person in 2020 is obviously going to be hard.

I really don't know a damn thing about dating, though. I consider myself very lucky that I avoided most of it and ended up in a stable relationship.
Zopiclone bandit said:
I find it so hard to relate to most people these days as most people are bloody dumb, their idea of "fun" is going out to a pub on a Friday night / Saturday night & that kind of lifestyle.
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Are you complaining that people like to do out and do drugs... on a drug forum?
 
Well I just hit it off with this Woman I met on Okcupid and she seems really chill. Beautiful also like real thick my kinda girl for sure with dark eyes and blonde hair that I think is dyed for sure my type she has really pretty face. I'm gonna see what happens and see if I can manage moving on from my ex. Feels like way to soon even tho we broke up in March but we have been fucking still since until couple weeks ago, let's see what happens.
 
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