When will I feel normal

[yubacity]

Yuba,

I see you in a completely different way now. I mean that in a good way.

I hope you don't take this wrong, can but you have substance. I didn't realize that before Maybe that's not the right word But, I see you as an interesting human being. The stuff you shared today is probably the first time you were talking to BL. And we can relate to you. More than you realize.

Man, I be hear you RIO I remember when I didn't know I was experiencing withdrawal. I thought I was getting the flu alot. Yeah, I be know. Duh. But, when I'd take Oxycontin I'd think "This stuff is amazing. It even cures the flu!". Omg. And the hell I've endured because of it. **shudder** Rio, you are also really cool. Like someone I'd like as a friend in real life. You don't show that side of yourself often. You should. It's a compliment btw.

I'm having bad cravings tonight. I'm feeling miserable because of them. I'm struggling not to make a call. The only thing stopping me is money to be honest. If I do make a call, it will cut into my money too much.

Yuba, I have to be concerned about money. In a way, having alot of disposable income has to make it more difficult. It would for me anyway. So, I won

Thanks for your kind words mate.Also good on you mate for telling your cravings to go fuck it's never easy especially as our brains keep trying to j7stify it.Also having a disposable income makes heroin addiction so much much easier.You can get big amounts it's easier to drive to a atm and get cash out for gear then all the graft it takes to support a full blown addiction.It also one major thing not to have to sort out after detox.sorry n9t to reply earlier was fast asleep.Enjoy your Sunday mate

 

[yubacity]

brother, have you considered setting some hard rules for yourself?? from the outset it seems to me the only rule you're setting is no heroin or coke, is that right?? it seems like its a bit of a free for all when it comes to the pharmaceuticals

Bruv I hardly ever touched pharmaceuticals before detox.I was the knob that be posting on Facebook about the evil pharmaceutical company's.Its just this fucking lyrica I seem to love the high.

 

[yubacity]

Bruv I hardly ever touched pharmaceuticals before detox.I was the knob that be posting on Facebook about the evil pharmaceutical company's.Its just this fucking lyrica I seem to love the high.

Also Bruv I'm week when it comes to drugs I have no hard rules I can stick to.I can't taper anything or just do things to relieve symptoms today I took 4 30 mg codeine tablets.One would have relieved my minor anxiety from lyrica come down but I start looking for a fucking buzz.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

Bruv I hardly ever touched pharmaceuticals before detox.I was the knob that be posting on Facebook about the evil pharmaceutical company's.Its just this fucking lyrica I seem to love the high.

you know one thing I love about you? you type exactly as you speak. You don't filter your british slang for these americans at all and I love it! It makes me feel like I'm talking to one of my real life friends rather than just a guy on the internet, you know?? When it comes to the lyrica you have to weigh the pros and cons. Is it impacting your life? You certainly don't want a long-term habit on any gabapentinoid bro, so if you don't want to cut it out completely why don't you try and set some hard rules that you never break? for example - "I will only take x amount of lyrica once a week" or whatever works for you. I'd hate to see you develop a long term addiction to the stuff - have you read the horror stories of the people who try to quit who have been on it for a long time??

 

[yubacity]

you know one thing I love about you? you type exactly as you speak. You don't filter your british slang for these americans at all and I love it! It makes me feel like I'm talking to one of my real life friends rather than just a guy on the internet, you know?? When it comes to the lyrica you have to weigh the pros and cons. Is it impacting your life? You certainly don't want a long-term habit on any gabapentinoid bro, so if you don't want to cut it out completely why don't you try and set some hard rules that you never break? for example - "I will only take x amount of lyrica once a week" or whatever works for you. I'd hate to see you develop a long term addiction to the stuff - have you read the horror stories of the people who try to quit who have been on it for a long time??

Lol I don't have a filter does my wife's head in.There is nothing good about my need for lyrica.It is a great high but just leaves you feeling bad for a couple of days if lucky after a binge on it and at worse 6 days of a deep deep depression and fatigue.Kind of the same how we feel after day 6 of an heroin detox but not feeling any better for 6 days after.Its can't be good for me mentally bruv by the end of 4 or 5 heavy days on it I start having conversations with myself not talking out loud but proper conversations really weird.

 

[Stargazer]

Yuba,

Lyrica is a tough one. It's a very pleasant feeling- I think I'm so partial to it due to having suffered severe anxiety and panic attacks -long before I even understood what anxiety and panic attacks were.

Lyrica also helps my pain more than any other medication, including opiates--both oral and even IV heroin.

The withdrawal from it, is like no other for me as well. I find the withdrawal worse than opiate withdrawal -- due to the extreme, unrelenting anxiety. I am unable to calm myself for even a minute.
I pour sweat, feel like I'm losing my mind, pace, rock and cry. It's just awful.

I have gone through very severe opiate w/d more times than I could possibly count. I've been through two traumatic, cold-turkey detoxes from opiates. To the bitter end. I still find the withdrawal from Lyrica worse.

If you do a simple taper when you see you're running out, it prevents that horror. Have you ever googled Lyrica withdrawal and read any of the many stories about it?

Some people swear there is no withdrawal from Lyrica. All of it is in our heads apparently. Yeah right! There most definitely is withdrawal from Lyrica. It's just some people don't experience it. I have no idea what the variables are that make it that way.

I hope you're having a great day Yuba. Sending you well wishes

 

[Stargazer]

Rio,

I think you have a deep-rooted need to be disliked or need attention. Positive attention isn't your twist. Negative attention seems to be.

Why would you refer to Americans as "these Americans" on a heavily populated American forum? If you find "us Americans" offensive or whatever it is you find us, after all the tolerance we've had for you and the kindness we've extended, why don't you find an all British forum to frequent? It's that simple.

I personally don't care where someone comes from, what color or ethnicity they are - my requirements are the way a person treats me. Period.

If I didn't like a forum, I wouldn't go there. If I don't care for an individual on the forum, I don't read their threads, or I skip reading their posts. I also practice self-control. It's not always easy. At all. If I can do it, you sure as hell can.

It's like I don't know which person you actually are. You present yourself two different ways. Either a complete and utter dickhead. Or an intelligent, thoughtful person.

Maybe you're schizophrenic or have some other form of mental illness. But whatever it is, it's difficult to tolerate. I don't come to BL to be aggravated.

BL/Sober Living has changed alot in the past few months. It's not the easy-going, welcoming place it used to be. And you're not helping.

Whatever your deal is, it's America and you have the right to freedom of speech and thought. And that goes for everyone.

If an American said a comment like you said, but referring to Brits, like referring to the Brits as "these Brits", I'd be pissed off as fuck. It would be, to me, a bad reflection on Americans. And I wouldn't want British people to feel I felt that way, because some asshole said something that ignorant.

I have a website. Im the moderator I run it with a very dear to me who is British. He handles all the technical computer stuff. I deal with all of the other stuff.

Our members are both British and American. We all get along very well. We find our differences interesting. We enjoy knowing and learni

 

[Stargazer]

...We enjoy knowing and learning from each other.
You're not obligated to come here. I attempt to be supportive to everyone. If I find I don't care for a member, I stay in my lane.

I'm feeling vulnerable at this time. I'm trying my best to get and stay clean. I'm hoping for support. Hoping to make a couple, good sober friends. I don't know what you're looking for..other than arguments to be honest.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

Rio,

I think you have a deep-rooted need to be disliked or need attention. Positive attention isn't your twist. Negative attention seems to be.

Why would you refer to Americans as "these Americans" on a heavily populated American forum? If you find "us Americans" offensive or whatever it is you find us, after all the tolerance we've had for you and the kindness we've extended, why don't you find an all British forum to frequent? It's that simple.

I personally don't care where someone comes from, what color or ethnicity they are - my requirements are the way a person treats me. Period.

If I didn't like a forum, I wouldn't go there. If I don't care for an individual on the forum, I don't read their threads, or I skip reading their posts. I also practice self-control. It's not always easy. At all. If I can do it, you sure as hell can.

It's like I don't know which person you actually are. You present yourself two different ways. Either a complete and utter dickhead. Or an intelligent, thoughtful person.

Maybe you're schizophrenic or have some other form of mental illness. But whatever it is, it's difficult to tolerate. I don't come to BL to be aggravated.

BL/Sober Living has changed alot in the past few months. It's not the easy-going, welcoming place it used to be. And you're not helping.

Whatever your deal is, it's America and you have the right to freedom of speech and thought. And that goes for everyone.

If an American said a comment like you said, but referring to Brits, like referring to the Brits as "these Brits", I'd be pissed off as fuck. It would be, to me, a bad reflection on Americans. And I wouldn't want British people to feel I felt that way, because some asshole said something that ignorant.

I have a website. Im the moderator I run it with a very dear to me who is British. He handles all the technical computer stuff. I deal with all of the other stuff.

Our members are both British and American. We all get along very well. We find our differences interesting. We enjoy knowing and learni

oh my GOD it was a JOKE it was obviously a good-natured JOKE you are so so sensitive! despite the fact it was an obivous joke, it's not even as if there's anything obviously insulting about saying "these americans" - there's nothing inherently denigrating about that. you really need a thicker skin, friend. It was a joke because yubacity uses a lot of UK slang in his posts, that was the basis of my post, it had nothing to do with insulting Americans. what do you think the basis of my criticism was? that americans wouldn't understand UK slang? do you think that's an insult? I feel like you're lashing out at me and overreacting for really very little.

To put it another way, imagine we are all in a giant room. Everyone in Bluelight is on there, and the people from different countries are clustered together. A few Americans and a few British people get together for a conversation, and yubacity starts talking. I interrupt him to say "wow, wow, yubacity, some people can't understand you!" and he says "like who?" and I say "like these americans!" pointing to you and the other americans in the conversation. Would that little conversation offend you? If so, why? Why not? What's the difference between that and my post?

 

[yubacity]

Yuba,

Lyrica is a tough one. It's a very pleasant feeling- I think I'm so partial to it due to having suffered severe anxiety and panic attacks -long before I even understood what anxiety and panic attacks were.

Lyrica also helps my pain more than any other medication, including opiates--both oral and even IV heroin.

The withdrawal from it, is like no other for me as well. I find the withdrawal worse than opiate withdrawal -- due to the extreme, unrelenting anxiety. I am unable to calm myself for even a minute.
I pour sweat, feel like I'm losing my mind, pace, rock and cry. It's just awful.

I have gone through very severe opiate w/d more times than I could possibly count. I've been through two traumatic, cold-turkey detoxes from opiates. To the bitter end. I still find the withdrawal from Lyrica worse.

If you do a simple taper when you see you're running out, it prevents that horror. Have you ever googled Lyrica withdrawal and read any of the many stories about it?

Some people swear there is no withdrawal from Lyrica. All of it is in our heads apparently. Yeah right! There most definitely is withdrawal from Lyrica. It's just some people don't experience it. I have no idea what the variables are that make it that way.

I hope you're having a great day Yuba. Sending you well wishes

Fuck me bruv you been through hell.Everything you said is true about lyrica.I love the feeling I get from it.Your so right about the withdrawal from it .I get diarrea from it which can be controlled.But the headfuck depression I get from it is worse then opiate wd depression.For me it's 6 to 7 days of lying in bed no energy.When I detox from heroin I not get suicidal thoughts but I did with lyrica. The crazy thing is I do it all over again.Will try your advice of tapering but I have a problem tapering but have to do it.Being honest a good lyrica buzz for me second only to heroin.Take care mate start the week of in a positive way.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

...We enjoy knowing and learning from each other.
You're not obligated to come here. I attempt to be supportive to everyone. If I find I don't care for a member, I stay in my lane.

I'm feeling vulnerable at this time. I'm trying my best to get and stay clean. I'm hoping for support. Hoping to make a couple, good sober friends. I don't know what you're looking for..other than arguments to be honest.

You're making a stupid little joke between me and yuba into a personal attack on yourself, man. Take a step back and look at this situation objectively, my post wasn't aimed at you or anyone else. It was a JOKE.

 

[yubacity]

Rio,

I think you have a deep-rooted need to be disliked or need attention. Positive attention isn't your twist. Negative attention seems to be.

Why would you refer to Americans as "these Americans" on a heavily populated American forum? If you find "us Americans" offensive or whatever it is you find us, after all the tolerance we've had for you and the kindness we've extended, why don't you find an all British forum to frequent? It's that simple.

I personally don't care where someone comes from, what color or ethnicity they are - my requirements are the way a person treats me. Period.

If I didn't like a forum, I wouldn't go there. If I don't care for an individual on the forum, I don't read their threads, or I skip reading their posts. I also practice self-control. It's not always easy. At all. If I can do it, you sure as hell can.

It's like I don't know which person you actually are. You present yourself two different ways. Either a complete and utter dickhead. Or an intelligent, thoughtful person.

Maybe you're schizophrenic or have some other form of mental illness. But whatever it is, it's difficult to tolerate. I don't come to BL to be aggravated.

BL/Sober Living has changed alot in the past few months. It's not the easy-going, welcoming place it used to be. And you're not helping.

Whatever your deal is, it's America and you have the right to freedom of speech and thought. And that goes for everyone.

If an American said a comment like you said, but referring to Brits, like referring to the Brits as "these Brits", I'd be pissed off as fuck. It would be, to me, a bad reflection on Americans. And I wouldn't want British people to feel I felt that way, because some asshole said something that ignorant.

I have a website. Im the moderator I run it with a very dear to me who is British. He handles all the technical computer stuff. I deal with all of the other stuff.

Our members are both British and American. We all get along very well. We find our differences interesting. We enjoy knowing and learni

I think mate you might have taken Rio the wrong way.He was commentating on me using british slang.He wasn't trying to offend Americans.I am a dual national who loves both the states and British.I think something got lost in translation.Also mate I want to start donating to bl just want to make sure it all done the right way and what shows on bank statement.This place and people like you Rio ash who all give good advice and for me a life line.Rio and ash have a way to know when I'm going wrong and support when things good.

 

[yubacity]

...We enjoy knowing and learning from each other.
You're not obligated to come here. I attempt to be supportive to everyone. If I find I don't care for a member, I stay in my lane.

I'm feeling vulnerable at this time. I'm trying my best to get and stay clean. I'm hoping for support. Hoping to make a couple, good sober friends. I don't know what you're looking for..other than arguments to be honest.

I can understand your vulnerability staying clean is so fucking hard.If your feeling in a bad place just leave a message here mate.I was one for never expressing how I felt but this place has shown me getting your feelings in open and getting support helps so much

 

[yubacity]

Was just wondering I have had two days of lyrica.Used codeine to ease the wd.Today I will do 900 or 1200 mg lyrica how should I taper go done one 300 mg a day so 4 day taper.I need to taper so don't get bad wd which leads to heroin for anxiety which then leads to lyrica to heroin come down a fucking Vicky is circle

 

[yubacity]

I meant I get stuck in a vicious circle which once led to two wd heroin and lyrica

 

[Rio Fantastic]

I think mate you might have taken Rio the wrong way.He was commentating on me using british slang.He wasn't trying to offend Americans.I am a dual national who loves both the states and British.I think something got lost in translation.Also mate I want to start donating to bl just want to make sure it all done the right way and what shows on bank statement.This place and people like you Rio ash who all give good advice and for me a life line.Rio and ash have a way to know when I'm going wrong and support when things good.

thanks yuba. I can understand why the dude got it wrong, we clashed in another thread when I was being an asshole and I think he assumed I was doing the same here, but this time I genuinely meant it as an innocent comment.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

Was just wondering I have had two days of lyrica.Used codeine to ease the wd.Today I will do 900 or 1200 mg lyrica how should I taper go done one 300 mg a day so 4 day taper.I need to taper so don't get bad wd which leads to heroin for anxiety which then leads to lyrica to heroin come down a fucking Vicky is circle

Yeah man, it is a vicious cycle. Lyrica is a problem, but in my opinion you need to get rid of all your codeine ASAP. Even though you only do it for lyrica withdrawal and probably don't get much of a buzz from it, it's tickling those opioid receptors that you are waiting to heal and slowing your recovery down. Every time you take an opioid you reverse your receptor recovery, even if it's something as mild as codeine, and that could very well be the root cause of the depression that's driving you to lyrica in the first place.

As for the lyrica, if it's something you don't want to cut out of your life entirely then I'd suggest tapering it down over a week - to get below 300mg, open the capsule and parachute the powder so you are minimizing your dose. if you taper down to a third of a capsule withdrawals should be minimal.

If you don't want to stop taking lyrica but want to manage or moderate it, have you considered something like this ? That one is a little expensive and I'm sure there are cheaper ones, but if you got one of these you and you felt like getting high on lyrica you could take what you wanted to take then toss the rest in the safe which can't be opened for 96 hours or whatever you set it to. That could help you manage it so you don't keep re-igniting physical dependence - I am assuming for now you don't want to stop taking lyrica completely?

 

[yubacity]

Yeah man, it is a vicious cycle. Lyrica is a problem, but in my opinion you need to get rid of all your codeine ASAP. Even though you only do it for lyrica withdrawal and probably don't get much of a buzz from it, it's tickling those opioid receptors that you are waiting to heal and slowing your recovery down. Every time you take an opioid you reverse your receptor recovery, even if it's something as mild as codeine, and that could very well be the root cause of the depression that's driving you to lyrica in the first place.

As for the lyrica, if it's something you don't want to cut out of your life entirely then I'd suggest tapering it down over a week - to get below 300mg, open the capsule and parachute the powder so you are minimizing your dose. if you taper down to a third of a capsule withdrawals should be minimal.

If you don't want to stop taking lyrica but want to manage or moderate it, have you considered something like this ? That one is a little expensive and I'm sure there are cheaper ones, but if you got one of these you and you felt like getting high on lyrica you could take what you wanted to take then toss the rest in the safe which can't be opened for 96 hours or whatever you set it to. That could help you manage it so you don't keep re-igniting physical dependence - I am assuming for now you don't want to stop taking lyrica completely?

I am so pissed of with all drugs bruv.I seemed to get of gear and pick a even bigger headfuck of a habit.I wake up in the morning and my choices are spend the day tired depressed or snort a lyrica and be normal.Lyrica always wins drugs always win.Will try tapering this week will hit 1200 mg today not to bad and cut by 1 300 mg tablet until Friday where me my wife going Europe tour let's hope it works.

 

[yubacity]

Did 3 300 mg plus snorted half a 300 mg.Going to drop it to 600 tomorrow and so on.Hopefully by Friday when we leave I will be ok.Wife is asking so many questions.She knows I'm on something I can't pretend it's drink in not a drinker.Im being very selfish to my wife got to do this.

 

[S&Em]

You've got this Yuba. I've followed your thread and I'm trying to get back on subs after fucking up and no one know it this past weekend. You can do it! At least you still have some one by your side.