so i have bad anxiety and depression. since i was 6. cried myself to sleep every night and have pretty much every night since then. i have always found a reason to keep going even though the idea of suicide has drawn me in since i was 9 ( saw it on TV and thought what a wonderful idea). the one reason i have never is because i can always look back and be like yeah if i had killed myself i wouldve missed out on this good time or that. and i can always kind of pull myself out of the darkness for a while. but i always fall back into troubles. i love cutting myself and i love doing drugs for the feeling they give me but hate them for every other reason. i never really stay happy since my day of birth. i really just think sometimes life just isnt meant for all people. i always feel out of place. im wondering if i really just dont belong here. no matter how many people surround me im alone and isolated so i ask you whats the point of getting myself hyped back up anytmore?
i have gone to therapy. i have tried psychiatrist drugs of all sorts. i have tried meditation and that type of shit. i excersize a fucking lot and eat well. i sleep well. i have friends, i go out. these are all the things i expect to hear as advice. dont say any of that. the only thing i have keeping me up is the street drugs.
i have gone to therapy. i have tried psychiatrist drugs of all sorts. i have tried meditation and that type of shit. i excersize a fucking lot and eat well. i sleep well. i have friends, i go out. these are all the things i expect to hear as advice. dont say any of that. the only thing i have keeping me up is the street drugs.
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