When does the brain go back to normal?

[washingtonbound]

I'm 30 now and have basically been sober for a year. From 18-28 I had a severe binge use problem where I would periodically take large amounts of psychedelics, end up psychotic, end up in the psych ward, rinse and repeat. I got over psychedelics about four years ago but had a few stints with pills. Not enough to get severely physically addicted but enough to have psychological withdrawals. After getting sober a year ago, I began to ramp up my caffeine intake and became addicted to nicotine. I stopped cigarettes but am currently using a can of VELO every day or two. It's shocking to me how much my brain chemistry has changed with age. I used to be able to smoke socially and stop, now I am full blown addicted to nicotine. I also used to be a heavy marijuana smoker but gave that up three years ago due to increased paranoia and anxiety.

I had about 2 months free of nicotine recently and was not in good shape, and I wonder how long it will take to feel normal again after stopping the nasty velo habit. Many years of drug abuse has caused my brain chemistry to be quite fragile and I wonder when I will start to feel like my old self before all this crap started. How long did it take for you to get over it?

 

[shreddedlettuce]

This is just my take on your question from my perspective.
I ask myself, "when was my brain ever normal?"

As a kid I was always nervous or shy.

I was always looking for that elusive thing to spark me into "normality".
In my early twenties I started using chemicals and made so many new discoveries ( well I thought I was, but it was obviously meds working for symptoms I didn't have but liked the feeling).
So now, I am in my fifties, I don't use street drugs, or get "high" like I used to in those discovery years. As there isn't any magic bullet out there that makes us feel good and also improves our lives at the same time.

So bottom line, my brain was never normal.
I spent decades looking for the one thing that can make me normal.
Until it dawned on me that "who actually wants to be normal", and especially someone who never was. For me it would be a frivolous exercise as I never knew what "clean", "normality" was until I started using.

My normal now, is me trying to use the medications that are prescribed to me responsibly (which I still am short each month on everything, but not that short).
I smoke and spend too much on weed, but am not too regretfull as it helps me feel "human" again when I have a smoke after a long day at work, so why would I want to stop buying it.

I have quit cigarettes and started vaping refillable pods and don't care about the dangers of vaping right now as I am not smoking cigarettes anymore, I hated cigarettes.



So for my brain to feel normal, I know what I need to take, I do my best to stick to the prescribed dose. I earn my salary, have kept my latest job for over 6 years ( never held a job for more than 3 in the past).

So my advise is to stop looking to find what can make you feel normal again or think about "how long it takes for the brain to get back to the 18 year old "normal" feeling at the age of 30. So, unless you can truly, and I mean, truly, remember that you were happy and normal over 12 years ago (you said started at 18 and are now 30), can you remember at that prime age of just before you started your journey into chemicals, "Were you feeling normal?" or "Was there something missing" which led to the next 11 years of abuse/fun/experiences etc....... if you can answer "Yes" I can remember how normal felt like.

Then I don't see a reason that you can't get back to that place again.. but unfortunately you can never be 18 again and maybe the feeling of being young is over shadowing the "feeling normal" again conundrim.

There some rambling of a little kid in a Fifty Year old mans body, who thinks that maybe this could help.
or maybe not.

Good luck.

 

[washingtonbound]

This is just my take on your question from my perspective.
I ask myself, "when was my brain ever normal?"

As a kid I was always nervous or shy.

I was always looking for that elusive thing to spark me into "normality".
In my early twenties I started using chemicals and made so many new discoveries ( well I thought I was, but it was obviously meds working for symptoms I didn't have but liked the feeling).
So now, I am in my fifties, I don't use street drugs, or get "high" like I used to in those discovery years. As there isn't any magic bullet out there that makes us feel good and also improves our lives at the same time.

So bottom line, my brain was never normal.
I spent decades looking for the one thing that can make me normal.
Until it dawned on me that "who actually wants to be normal", and especially someone who never was. For me it would be a frivolous exercise as I never knew what "clean", "normality" was until I started using.

My normal now, is me trying to use the medications that are prescribed to me responsibly (which I still am short each month on everything, but not that short).
I smoke and spend too much on weed, but am not too regretfull as it helps me feel "human" again when I have a smoke after a long day at work, so why would I want to stop buying it.

I have quit cigarettes and started vaping refillable pods and don't care about the dangers of vaping right now as I am not smoking cigarettes anymore, I hated cigarettes.



So for my brain to feel normal, I know what I need to take, I do my best to stick to the prescribed dose. I earn my salary, have kept my latest job for over 6 years ( never held a job for more than 3 in the past).

So my advise is to stop looking to find what can make you feel normal again or think about "how long it takes for the brain to get back to the 18 year old "normal" feeling at the age of 30. So, unless you can truly, and I mean, truly, remember that you were happy and normal over 12 years ago (you said started at 18 and are now 30), can you remember at that prime age of just before you started your journey into chemicals, "Were you feeling normal?" or "Was there something missing" which led to the next 11 years of abuse/fun/experiences etc....... if you can answer "Yes" I can remember how normal felt like.

Then I don't see a reason that you can't get back to that place again.. but unfortunately you can never be 18 again and maybe the feeling of being young is over shadowing the "feeling normal" again conundrim.

There some rambling of a little kid in a Fifty Year old mans body, who thinks that maybe this could help.
or maybe not.

Good luck.

Thanks, I guess what I really meant was feeling stable. I remember I’d started making more friends around 16, was quite isolated in adolescence, but shortly after that I was sent away to a troubled teen program because my dad was convinced “I would drive my car stoned or drunk.”

This was part of what motivated me even more to use substances as I dealt with some degree of PTSD from that experience, and would have flashbacks.

I’m very isolated now and haven’t worked in many years, and am far from stable. Even though I don’t have any major hardships going on in my life, my internal state is just constantly on edge and I struggle more with anger than I used to, to the point where being around certain people will cause me to almost have a melton.

I also have mild autism so I know I won’t ever have a fully “normal” brain, but would like to be in a place where I’m not feeling so volatile.

 

[shreddedlettuce]

Thanks, I guess what I really meant was feeling stable. I remember I’d started making more friends around 16, was quite isolated in adolescence, but shortly after that I was sent away to a troubled teen program because my dad was convinced “I would drive my car stoned or drunk.”

This was part of what motivated me even more to use substances as I dealt with some degree of PTSD from that experience, and would have flashbacks.

I’m very isolated now and haven’t worked in many years, and am far from stable. Even though I don’t have any major hardships going on in my life, my internal state is just constantly on edge and I struggle more with anger than I used to, to the point where being around certain people will cause me to almost have a melton.

I also have mild autism so I know I won’t ever have a fully “normal” brain, but would like to be in a place where I’m not feeling so volatile.

Ok, stability makes sense.
I would make an appointment to see the right Medical Professional and get diagnosed.
Mild Autism and/or ADHD can be an asset if treated properly.


At least this could be the answer, but without the right way of doing it and getting diagnosed by a doctor, it will always be self medicating or self loathing.

Go for it. Make an appointment.

 

[washingtonbound]

Ok, stability makes sense.
I would make an appointment to see the right Medical Professional and get diagnosed.
Mild Autism and/or ADHD can be an asset if treated properly.


At least this could be the answer, but without the right way of doing it and getting diagnosed by a doctor, it will always be self medicating or self loathing.

Go for it. Make an appointment.

I was diagnosed with Aspergers many years ago, but my experience with psychiatrists has not been positive.

 

[shreddedlettuce]

My experience with psychiatrists have been awful.
You need something to boost your drive either naturally, chemically (but legally), or inspirational.

sorry man, all I can say is that you have youth on your side.
just take it one day at a time, don't try and be a hero, and don't feel that the Asperger's is the cause of this, it might be the thing that is keeping you from going over the edge.

good luck and hope you get more input.

if it was me, I would just go see a GP and tell them EXACTLY how you feel, how clean you are, can they help you. If they say see a psychiatrist, then we brainstorm again.

but that is me.

Remember, this isn't your fault.

take it easy and if I think of anything more I will let you know

 

[washingtonbound]

My experience with psychiatrists have been awful.
You need something to boost your drive either naturally, chemically (but legally), or inspirational.

sorry man, all I can say is that you have youth on your side.
just take it one day at a time, don't try and be a hero, and don't feel that the Asperger's is the cause of this, it might be the thing that is keeping you from going over the edge.

good luck and hope you get more input.

if it was me, I would just go see a GP and tell them EXACTLY how you feel, how clean you are, can they help you. If they say see a psychiatrist, then we brainstorm again.

but that is me.

Remember, this isn't your fault.

take it easy and if I think of anything more I will let you know

I also have been diagnosed with bipolar during my episodes of psychosis. I'm thinking now that I've been stable for almost two years, it might we worth trying a new antidepressant I've heard good things about (auvelity). But at the same time, I wonder if getting engaged in a job and feeling more purposeful might help with things naturally. I was on a lot of bad meds in the past, most recently lamictal, that had bad physical side effects. Therapy has been ineffective so far, and I had tons in my earlier twenties.

 

[Them Witches]

For me I have been plagued by medical issues/permanent problems, medication gambit, and Schizoaffective disorder.

In 18 months I will be 50 years old. What I have found that has helped me the most is developing a positive daily routine. I started simple with things I could manage to get into the swing of things. In a short period of time by seeing myself complete the simple task routine, I began to feel and my brain began to experience accomplishments by completing the simple goals/tasks.

Then I started to add more tasks to my routine, all of which are positive. By honoring the challenges I proposed to myself, the natural progression of small wins began manifesting into completing big wins. Without ingesting a drug to please my brain's "demand for rewards",my brain started to experience more and more of what is considered recovery, mental health awareness & sorting through the complex matrix of it, and my brain & self-conscience, self-confidence, regulation of emotions, and more all started working in harmony with one another.

Everyone has their own routine they will choose. This makes the process beautiful and unique. Of the details, things like stretching, light exercises, reading, educational journeys, self-help work -- well they are helping in ways medicine could never accomplish. For me, this process is fun and has helped my brain recover & has brought the most light into my life.

I have always tried to do things the easy way and I always looked for a short-cut to get ahead. I thought I was saving time but in reality I was not. I was repeating basically the same things over and over again expecting different results (the definition of insanity). Until I really started taking a good look at myself & started challenging myself to improve no matter what, I repeated the same "slip back" into the same mind frame and the same desire for improvement only grew stronger. Once I got serious about developing a positive daily routine, serious wonderful changes began to take place. The progression of repeating these tasks has lead to each day getting better and better. The medication issues have been working themselves out on their own and I am more confident about either staying on certain ones, replacing certain ones, and/or removing certain ones.