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What's the most fucked up thing you've done out your face on benzos or alcohol that you regret

Lost 99% of 3 months on a 15 gram etizolam binge back in the 2013 proliferation. Faceplanted in front of my parents multiple times. I'm sure there was worse, I just can't remember. Ended up almost dying in the 3+ month acute detox afterwards. It was worse than death
 
Snafu in the Void said:
Oh and the time I took like 15mg of etizolam, had a plan to try to crack the lock on my mom's safe to steal some shit, but was worried she would come home from work sooner than usual, so I jammed a chair up against the front door knob (only entrance), but before I could execute my master safe cracking plan I just blacked out on the couch and fell asleep.

My mom came home, couldn't open the door and thought I was trying to kill myself so she called the police. I was woken up by 4 police officers and they told me to go to the hospital or go to jail.

So of course I go to the hospital and in triage I just told them I was high on benzos. They dont do anything then send me home with a $3000 bill.

Man I was a real dumb piece of shit back then lol
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Yea I can relate with the dumb piece of shit fuck the amount of crazy things I've done and torture I've put my family through
 
Higherfocus420 said:
Yea I can relate with the dumb piece of shit fuck the amount of crazy things I've done and torture I've put my family through
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It's amazing my family still supports me. I don't even want to mention the worst of what I did to them. Somehow they have forgiven me, but I am still struggling to forgive myself 10+ years later.
 
Snafu in the Void said:
It's amazing my family still supports me. I don't even want to mention the worst of what I did to them. Somehow they have forgiven me, but I am still struggling to forgive myself 10+ years later.
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I totally understand. I put my parents through hell, over and over. The stories I could tell you of stupid stuff I’ve done, times I’ve almost died, relapsing again and again…but somehow I’m still close with my mom. It helps that as far as she knows I haven’t done any drugs in years (I have, obviously, but the key thing here is that I did them safely and responsibly, not addictive ones, which is all they really wanted from me anyway) and I’ve been an actual functional adult who takes care of my kids, instead of them having to do it for me.

Edited to add: my mom might’ve forgiven me but idk if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself. And now with my kids being teenagers I worry that karma is gonna get me by having to watch my kids go through the same things.
 
negrogesic said:
Funny you said that because I added a secondary story to that original post after you said this despite not seeing your comment

I have written a fair portion of said book, but it is in novel form, stylized, sort of a Fight Club meets Fear and Loathing type of tale, based on real events.
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Have you written any books prior to this one you’re working on?
 
once i was young, and cute and a party monster. I had a threesome situation w a partner and her attractive friend that was great fun for a night, drinking and partying and gettin sexy. Only time that has ever occurred for me lol. so, at the end of night one, i take what I assume to be an alprazolam to sleep well and chase off the booze rebound. This was right at the beginning of pressed fake benzos. What I had ACTUALLY taken, was half a phenazepam bar of unknown dosage.
The next morning we got up, got food, --- and had a few beers. The ladies were fine. I THOUGHT I was fine. til i woke up 8 hours later to the house destroyed and my partner extremely upset with me.
phenazepam was awful, and had this crazy irate blackout thing i watched happen to a few friends during this time. Apparently I was screaming/crying, stomping around/throwing shit, broke a mirror. 100% out of character behavior for me. Was one of the instances that got me to really change my attitude about GABA compounds. needless to say the sexy time was off the table lol.

We are all still good friends to this day, but I will forever feel bad about ever scaring a lady in my presence and it kinda makes me feel sick to my stomach even typing it.

man im so glad i got away from booze/benzos. So many health/mental health improvements.
 
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Hey everyone I would like to add something I got blackout drunk on vodka and went to the store where my mom worked and mom saw that I was drunk and about to fall down so she called one of her female friends to take me home I told said female friend that' I thought she was beautiful and that I wanted her to drive us somewhere private so we could fuck each other right In Front of Mom needless to say when I sobered up I Started Cringing yikes!
 
Well I'm mostly a giggling idiot when Drunk but for some reason when drunk I will start hitting on any woman in the area and I don't know why drunk me Thinks nothing of it and Sober me is like why the hell did I do that
 
Flirting with an underage girl.
This was over 45 years ago and a different time. I know that gets said a lot, but I knew all kinds of guys screwing girls under the age of consent at the time.
I was 19 and she 17. All excuses apply. Still, I was careful to not tap jailbait myself at the time, but on a large dose of Valium, I tried.

Thankfully nothing came of it, not even sucking face. Another bullet I dodged through dumb luck.
 
I punched my best friend.

Infact I would often wake up insane acting. That benzo rage, I acted like a bitch for years before admitting I had a problem. That is mostly what I regret.

I made my mother cry.
 
Never did much bad shit due to alcohol or benzos besides the usual occasional rage or blackout which made me lose my driving license but I for sure did on my DOC, dissociatives. Many things I regret were done under the influence. Lost a solid amount of money and pride while on dissos. Still can't see them as bad drugs because when dosing right they were a cure to my social anxiety but one can always overshoot chemical cures and some then turn against you.
 
Everything that i did on benzo's was fucked up. I wish I never took them at all !!
 
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