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Whats the fucking point

dsesesy

dsesesy

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Joined
Apr 23, 2014
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Crystal Castles
Whats the point of this life. I feel like everyone else is contributing to each other but it feels lik im stuck behind som uneen barrier. Me and others dont understand each other. we dont connect. It feels like it has all to do with me. Whts the point o living this life so alone. Tortured by human emotions. Its getting unbearable. I have no people to relate to. My feelings are so bottled up its physically uncomfortable. I want out of here anything would be better than this constant anxiety. The only thing that mkes m feel better is drugs but i dnt want to be a slave to them. I feel crippled by my emotions. I cant function normally because of them. i have no where to turn. no one to talk to. Only escape is death it seems.
 
imo the point is remembering who we really are

you think that you are completely seperate from everyone and everything, but you have forgotten that you are one with everything and always have been

when we are very unhealthy (not just diet lol) we see everything through our own emotional state

i guess if you start to show some love for yourself, then you wont be self-destructive, and you will be able to have greater control over your reactions to thoughts

death does have the same realisation as knowing who you really are, but you can start to know yourself in this life time, which is why i dont think u should kill urself (it would probably hurt people who care about you as well)

if you are really in need of some emotional support or direction it could be worth making a post in TDS? or talking to a therapist?
 
dsesesy, the process of getting well and re-establishing your sense of connection to yourself and the world takes time and willful intention. You have to shed a lot of baggage that is standing between you and your happiness. You can start by stop comparing yourself to other people. I guarantee you that appearances are deceiving. The superficial world is an extremely poor indicator of what people are going through. There are entire worlds and dimensions happening inside of people that we can't discern just by staring at them.

If you feel close to death then you are in the vibration of shame. Guilt is the emotion that you've done something wrong, shame is the emotion that you are wrong. It's the experience of feeling unlovable, and that certain parts of you are so horrible that you should keep all of you hidden indefinitely. It's that part of you which is hindering your sense of connection. You need to start there... and debunk shame with some human compassion. Most of what people think is ugly and unmentionable inside of themselves is actually quite human and understandable. It's also not unique. I guarantee that whatever you're going through, someone else out there is too.

You need to start with a dose of healthy forgiveness. Forgive yourself for not living up to your own expectations, and forgive the world for not yet giving you what you want. The next thing I recommend doing is taking all of that guilt, sadness, anger, anxiety, and frustration, and hand it over to a higher power. Acknowledge that you don't currently have the tools and wisdom to see your way through this, and ask for help. Believe that help is on the way. It will then start to come to you in unexpected ways. Have courage, have faith, and above all be patient. Not only can things change, they can change faster than you realize. In a year from now, or even a month, you could be on a different path.

The death you are seeking is not literal death, it's the death of all the egos and mirages in your consciousness that are preventing you from seeing clearly.
 
Im not going to kill myself(just feel this should be made clear) because my grandfather has attempted it so i know all too surely the pain i would cause others. Life is hard enough. But its very discouraging. I am health as far as diet. Im organic vegan ad fairly active. but yeah mentally i cant seem to catch a break. ive tried spirituality and meditation but the feeling doesnt lst. perhaps its due to lack of patience but. I am aware o the fact we are all one but the illusion of separation my mind makes is often too thick a barrir to break through.
 
Organic vegan?

Have you considered that maybe your diet is why your mental health is where it's at? I don't mean to sound insensitive... but every vegan I've known, especially raw vegans, have had serious mental health problems eventually. Some of them are still messed up, while others broke with the diet and saw improvements. A lot of them lack enough saturated fat and B vitamins which are essential to stable brain function. Just saying. I notice that most vegans I've encountered lack a certain resiliency.

If it's truly a psychospiritual problem then it's part of your journey and you'll figure it out; but if you feel constantly brain-drained and chasing your tail through endlessly unidentifiable mental health problems, I'd reconsider what you eat.
 
You do not sound insensitive friend. But there are more problems linked to eating meat and dairy products than there are to a lack of them. A little independent research on your part and youll probably agree! Most of these health concerns have to do with chemical curing and things like that. I have actually felt somewhat better since ive started this diet.(about 3 months now). but yes it has only helped me physically. less fatigue and headaches mtter of fact. Being a vegan takes very special attention and determination so it is easy to neglect certain needs and become malnurouished. I take a b vitamin supplement and get all the saturated fats i need!
 
Have you consider you might be suffering from some form of Asperger's or be somewhere on the Autism spectrum? Because if then there is much you can do to improve your situation. Practice socialising, and observe others, through media and real life.
 
Foreigner said:
dsesesy, the process of getting well and re-establishing your sense of connection to yourself and the world takes time and willful intention. You have to shed a lot of baggage that is standing between you and your happiness. You can start by stop comparing yourself to other people. I guarantee you that appearances are deceiving. The superficial world is an extremely poor indicator of what people are going through. There are entire worlds and dimensions happening inside of people that we can't discern just by staring at them.

If you feel close to death then you are in the vibration of shame. Guilt is the emotion that you've done something wrong, shame is the emotion that you are wrong. It's the experience of feeling unlovable, and that certain parts of you are so horrible that you should keep all of you hidden indefinitely. It's that part of you which is hindering your sense of connection. You need to start there... and debunk shame with some human compassion. Most of what people think is ugly and unmentionable inside of themselves is actually quite human and understandable. It's also not unique. I guarantee that whatever you're going through, someone else out there is too.

You need to start with a dose of healthy forgiveness. Forgive yourself for not living up to your own expectations, and forgive the world for not yet giving you what you want. The next thing I recommend doing is taking all of that guilt, sadness, anger, anxiety, and frustration, and hand it over to a higher power. Acknowledge that you don't currently have the tools and wisdom to see your way through this, and ask for help. Believe that help is on the way. It will then start to come to you in unexpected ways. Have courage, have faith, and above all be patient. Not only can things change, they can change faster than you realize. In a year from now, or even a month, you could be on a different path.

The death you are seeking is not literal death, it's the death of all the egos and mirages in your consciousness that are preventing you from seeing clearly.
Click to expand...

Great advice.
 
dsesesy said:
Whats the point of this life. I feel like everyone else is contributing to each other but it feels lik im stuck behind som uneen barrier. Me and others dont understand each other. we dont connect. It feels like it has all to do with me. Whts the point o living this life so alone. Tortured by human emotions. Its getting unbearable. I have no people to relate to. My feelings are so bottled up its physically uncomfortable. I want out of here anything would be better than this constant anxiety. The only thing that mkes m feel better is drugs but i dnt want to be a slave to them. I feel crippled by my emotions. I cant function normally because of them. i have no where to turn. no one to talk to. Only escape is death it seems.
Click to expand...

At one point in my life I felt the same way you do now. I was surrounded by people who cared about me but felt no real connection to anyone and felt completely alone. I kind of let my life slip out of control for about a year and ended up with 2 DWIs within months of each other. Reality hit quickly. As part of my court-ordered punishment I was required to attend substance abuse classes, group therapy, and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. The one thing I learned in all those activities was the Serenity Prayer. Don't get me wrong, I am atheist and do not subscribe to the higher power. I did not complete the 12 steps and actually dislike all the religious requirements of the original AA 12 step program. That being said, I still walked away with the Serenity Prayer memorized.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

It's not the be all end all of quotes or sayings but it made a lot of sense to me and helped me get on the right track. And when I say right track, I'm not talking about alcohol abuse. I'm talking about my overall general mental health. I never really quit drinking, I just quit driving when I drink.

Honestly, the only thing that saved my life besides psych meds was the guitar. With an acoustic guitar I was able to take all those uncomfortable emotions and unbearable anxiety problems and put it all on paper in the form of song. Just because I write something does not mean anyone will ever have to hear it or read it. Many of my songs will never see the light of day but they are all off my chest. Feels good to be in a shitty mood and write a sad or angry song.

My point is that if you don't have some sort of creative outlet for these emotions, then it prolly wouldn't hurt to talk to a counselor or therapist. Unless you commit homicide or something they are bound by their licensing board not to break confidentiality. It really does help having someone to talk to that isn't a friend who will judge you. Like someone has already said, before you can start making friends or being comfortable in social situations, you have to learn to love yourself first. The rest will fall into place.
 
Until you make a clean break from all substance use you will not realize the hold it has on your overall emotional state. You say it makes you feel better.. is that you talking, or the substance. Classic thing, experienced it myself, see my best friend still struggling with it, and thousands of others out there. Seriously, as we are we're fucking divided in ourselves.. taking substances only divides us further and the substances themselves allow thought forms to convince us of the need to continue to self-medicate, when actually those ego's require your suffering and emotional turmoil to continue to exist.

Stop all substance use. Go clean. Only then will you know you emotional stability. It may take close to a year but you will feel better. Even smoking cannabis alters the way you process emotion.. I know because I used it frequently for a long time, and after a year of being clean the difference in my overall emotional state was distinct.

If you can't feel emotionally connected with yourself it's no wonder you can't feel connected with other people. When you go clean and then observe others who are still using substances you will gain a new perspective. Honestly, you won't find any solace in using substances when it comes to emotion. You have to face up to reality and process these things the way you did once when you were young and substance free. You can do it.. but you must make peace with why you started using in the first place.

There are plenty of people to talk to, to make you feel human again. But if you're using substances you're naturally on a different wavelength from these people. And forget about trying to work your way out of it by befriending other substance users.. you'll just spin around each other.

Seriously. Go clean. Give yourself a year or so. You will notice the difference. You know the difference already, you've just forgotten.. hypnotized by the deceit that substances foster upon the mind in order to justify your continued use of said substances.
 
^ I have to agree with this. I had a 6 month stint of no substances and I was shocked by how emotionally raw I became. Long term sobriety brought up a lot of unprocessed feelings and experiences that almost landed me in the psych ward. At the outset I thought... "Shit, maybe this is my neurologically default brain and doing drugs was really helping me to stay stable." Now I know that the opposite was true. The drugs have such a numbing / suppression mechanism. Eventually you start to feel sad, depressed, angry, etc... but because you're on the drugs constantly the proper self-reflexive process can't come full circle. I find it impossible to cry even on something like cannabis... and crying has been incredibly important for processing shit.

Don't get me wrong, I will always be in and out of the world of drug use, but you really have to give yourself a break sometimes to let your physiology come back into natural alignment. Honestly, constant drug use is not much different than being medicated with SSRIs and whatever else because it is disrupting natural rhythms. And yes, I include psychedelics in that statement. I would rather not go forever without doing a psychedelic because they do wonders for my psychology, but likewise I can't do psychedelics very often either. Too much neuroplasticity is a bad thing... you won't even know what's right or wrong for you anymore, or which values make sense to guide you.
 
The point is to do whatever the fuck you want as long as you're not bothering anyone else, and if you can, help others to do the same. Dont listen to these fuckheads on TV or the radio or in the "government". Let you define your life. You say you have no one to relate, well, im definitely one of those people, and im sure there's more of us. You feel you cant relate to humans, and you want to say fuck em, but are restricted from doing so by your biologically instilled propensity to long for human bonding. Realize that really you have no control. Surrendering that false sense of control offers freedoms from distress and worry. If anything, you have control of the way you feel. Being the master of your feelings is a powerful characteristic, but is difficult to achieve because there will always be external stimuli to possibly disrupt your mood or train of thought. Ultimately, your mentality is the determining factor of how pleasurable your journey of life will or will not be. Death isnt the only escape, but it is an escape.. but so is feeling the sand in between your toes as you walk along the beach after smoking a joint or sitting under a tree observing nature...or the thought of such things. Try to use the realization that nothing matters, that life has no intrinsic meaning to your advantage. Whenever youre feeling like shit, just go outside and collect some berries or flower petals. You say you have nowhere to run, well go outside and just run. The perceived significance of anything is purely subjective. Just smirk at the fact that nothing fuckin matters, youll be dead in a few decades, all of this (everything) shits fake, so just enjoy it and help others enjoy it in the meantime.
 
I feel you, Dsesey, I really do. For what it's worth...

Being very sensitive to emotion is not necessarily a bad thing, as long as you make it work for you - this can take years of practice with yourself, after becoming aware of the fact that you can work to organise your life so that your personality is something you can enjoy, whatever it's unique flavor. I am a very strong person, but that doesn't mean I don't love chucking on a melancholy song once in a while and exploring my intense capacity for sadness. It's OK - it doesn't make me a bad person and I don't have to justify myself to anyone else as long as I am not harming them.

If you are a depressed person, show the world what a depressed person is capable of! Winston Churchill called his depression the Black Dog, which came and went in his life. And he helped to destroy Hitler's fascism like a boss! You are capable of living a rich life of great depth and significance, and you don't need to completely reject your despair to do that. It's part of being human, and different people have different ways of feeling in the world. Yours is just as valid as anyone else's. Even if your feelings change, they will always reflect your own special position in this world. You can be proud of that, even if right now you are witnessing a powerful dark storm.

Just try not to abuse anyone, including yourself.
 
This is not a philosophical question. This is a mental question thread.

I can tie philosophy into this though. You feel alienated and disconnected from society. Philosophy and Mythology do a good job of reincorporating some of these aspects of life. Perennial Philosophy (Huxley), Hero Of A Thousand Faces (Campbell), Sartre (Existentialism as humanism). However what good are these mediums if you haven't yet achieved mental balance. All you need to do is go to a counselor or psychiatrist and discuss your options. Oddly the counselors and psychiatrists are there specifically to bridge the gap of the alienation one may feel, that is their ultimate role.
 
dsesesy said:
Whats the point of this life. I feel like everyone else is contributing to each other but it feels lik im stuck behind som uneen barrier. Me and others dont understand each other. we dont connect. It feels like it has all to do with me. Whts the point o living this life so alone. Tortured by human emotions. Its getting unbearable. I have no people to relate to. My feelings are so bottled up its physically uncomfortable. I want out of here anything would be better than this constant anxiety. The only thing that mkes m feel better is drugs but i dnt want to be a slave to them. I feel crippled by my emotions. I cant function normally because of them. i have no where to turn. no one to talk to. Only escape is death it seems.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry you feel that way. I lived alone for many many years isolated by forests after enduring a similar outlook due to some trauma. It is not easy having no one to relate to; but you must remember that you are not alone. YOu may be in person but there are many of us who look at our fellow man and feel no connection to. You must remember however that people are merely doing the best they can with what they've got going on at that time; and we must allow forgiveness to an often superficial connection with them.
If your enduring constant anxieties perhaps this is physical and could be tempered by a trip to your Dr's.??? I don't know. Might help. At least get you your good nights rests back again. We need our sleep man. Can't think straight without it. And good food. YOu eating alright?

There are those who look to their left or right before reacting, meaning they do what others do rather than looking within for their own views.
It sounds like you do the later. Be thankful at least your an individual thinker, not part of that 'pack syndrome'; that odd social darwinistic approach. You'll find your people or your person. Give it time. and please eat.
 
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