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What's going on in your life?

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First I would like to state that I love this thread due to the fact that I let it all out and there is no one right there in front of me to tell me their opinion that I really don't care to hear.
Thank you!
Well....things in my life are still rather twisted. In my last post I stated that I was so confused, I am just rather hormonal. One moment I am fine, the next I just want to cry about everything.
In about 3 weeks I will be moving back home to Georgia with my mother and step-father. My boyfriend is leaving to go over seas and I am really not ready to handle going through this pregnancy all by myself. He won't be home until November now, and I am so far as I know due the beginning of August. I am scared shitless! I really still am not sure what to think of all of this. I wish someone could just give me all the answers, though I know only I can do that!
I think about it all and realize how lucky I am though to have him be the father of my baby. He is a wonderful guy, I couldn't ask to have anyone better in my life. I sit back and see close friends of mine that are pregnant right now also, and would absolutely wanna die if I had to be going thru all that they are with their guys. I do realize how in one sense I am rather lucky. But yet, My love is leaving and going to war, and no matter how much I just think he is coming home, hte closer it gets to March 4th for him to leave the more I am really starting to worry about him returning to me. I can only imagine how much of a wreck I am gonna be when he is actually gone compared to how I am now. Ireally don't want him to leave, I just wanna kidnap him and keep him here with me. This sis our first child and he isn't gonna be here for any of this. The baby will be 3 months old before he returns. He went thru all of the shit of insurance money and all if something does happen, and god that just makes me worry more.
I am just so scared and trying not to show it to anyone. I only cry to myself, I tell everyone I don't feel well and go to bed and just cry for hours. I feel like I am loosing him, and I have no-one anymore. It just seems to me that no-one understands what I am going through.
I feel like I am loosing my mind, and I have no where to turn!
:(
 
^
Find the strongest part of you, even if it's small and be a women. Even if it makes you cry to pretend you're strong, do it. Also remember that your baby is you and feels your emotions. It's okay to be sad and overwhelmed, most of it is your hormones. Find your strong. You'll be amazed at how strong you really are.
 
hi MissTwitch
i dont know if i should say what i think coz im afraid that you might get upset, please dont thanks :) ... sometimes ago, i heard my grandma said that when you are pgrenant, you shouldnt be sad, depressed or anything coz it might effect the baby's mind. you should be happy and when the baby is born, He/She will be happy too if you get what i mean, just my two cents :)
 
Best of luck and love to you Miss Twitch. I know you have the inner strength to get through this. It isn't an ideal situation, I know, but your baby is a blessing and as long as you keep the stress level down as much as possible, you and the little one will both be just fine. I hope you post your sonogram when it comes time for you to have one! :)
As for me...
It's the day before VD day (ha) and I am thinking hard about my fucked up love life. The 2 guys I wrote about in the last thread both panned out. The lawyer took me out last weekend and said and did things that totally turned me off, i.e. that we would have beautiful children together. That's a bit psychotic for a second date, no? It destroyed any sexual attraction I had for him.
The other one turned out to be a materialistic freak. I should have known considering he is a commodities broker. The last time we hung out he brought over a bottle of expensive champagne, a bunch of "candy" (hehe) and some kind bud and more or less told me he had the specific intent to have sex with me that night. I proceeded to pretend to get too f***ed up and eventually he went home frustrated. Haha. As if all those things impressed me. He has called since, but conveniently I have been busy.
I'm trying to plan a 2 week trip to San Fran to see my dad, aunt and uncle. My uncle just lost his 25 yr old son (from the marriage previous to my aunt) most likely to an overdose. He is in the end stages of pancreatic cancer as well, and even though we don't really get along (he's a Republican extremist who taught survival classes to the military!) I would like to say goodbye in person and give my condolences on the loss of his son.
I may take a side trip to meet a certain hottie but I am definitely going to party with some BLers while in Cali. There is an extra car for me to use so I plan to have more than a little bit of fun away from the family. :)
The money situation sucks but work is going well. It is busy and I am being constantly challenged, just as it should be. School sucks and I may drop a class or two. My heart just isn't in it anymore. I do want to finish because I am soooo close, but it's hard to spend 15 hours a week in classes you don't give a fuck about. However, I don't want to be a legal assistant for the rest of my life so I guess I have to pick up the pieces and press on.
My single friends envy my busy dating life; a lot of them have a lot of trouble meeting people. I don't have any problem with that, I just seem to meet the wrong ones over and over again. I am turning 23 in 2 months, and everyone tells me I have my whole life ahead of me to be partnered but I feel like dating is a waste of my time and I just want someone to come home to at night who understands and cares about me. I see so many people around me so happy and fulfilled in love. I wonder when that will happen for me.
Last week I had a nasty relapse into my depression but the fog seems to be lifting again. No one really understands about it because they see me looking and acting completely normal.
I have decided that as soon as it is practical for me to do so that I need to leave Florida unless something drastic happens to make me change my mind. My friends and job will not be happy but I need to do what makes me happy, not them. I shudder at the thought of another disgusting, mosquito-filled summer. I may move to San Fran and live with my dad for free (w00t), work for a year in the legal field and then apply to law schools once I am entitled to in-state tuition. I'm also looking at a couple other cities on the West Coast. I think a change of environment will make a major difference in my attitude.
Yes, change is in the air and that's how I am able to get up in the morning. Hope springs eternal.
Until then, I suppose I just have to hang on.
 
Thank you Sweetpea...Mariposa420, and sxCraver!
I am feeling alot better today....I have been spending as much time possible with my boyfriend and just been planning out alot of our future! I try really hard not to let myself get too depressed but at times I can't help it....It is really hard. I have been doing good though!
As for everything else, I am just looking forward to being home with my family and soon being able to go to my real home, and go to NY and seemy Father's family, and all my sister's!
Also, Then my divorce will be finalized! YAY! :)
Mariposa...Best of luck with all, and just let it all ride, you will find hte right one one day, as we all will. I hope you have a great trip to Cali!
For now I am gonna go though, and get showered and ready for dinner with my boy!
Best wishes y'all!
 
I just got out of prison 4 months ago and I am currently in the process of re-building my empire.
 
Whats going on with my life? Nothing at all yet. I just finished year 12 last year, so i've been partying HARD since november 15th last year. I don't think i've been home for more than 1 day since then. hehe, it's been fun but im starting to run out of cash hard! I don't want to go to Uni, it doesnt appeal to me like it does to everyone else, I don't need the big time jobs to be happy. So I applied for an apprenticeship (electrician) which sounds like fun, that was over a week ago and I still haven't heard anything from them yet, hopefully I didn't get rejected :( .
I've got the best girlfriend in everyway :D I've been with her for almost 2 months and I seriously think I love her.
So yea life for me at the moment is quite good, except sitting at home during the day is starting to get VERY boring, all I basically do is hang around BL all day, there's nothing else to do at my house.
;D
 
Picture it:
Driving four hours for a fish burrito.
Route 66 and a cheap motel with a big round bed.
Going from the middle of the Mojave desert to the middle of large, green mountains. (seriously, you turn a corner and the scenery changes)
Watching tv and eating chocolate cake with friends.
Getting your hair dyed red.
Making the big decisions for yourself and leaving the little stuff to chance.
Physical mental, and emotional satisfaction - most of the time. ;)
/life now
 
I'm pretty new on the board but I guess it would be good to just kinda get some things off my chest that I just can't anywhere else...
Kinda scared that I graduate in about 2 and a half months. I know I want to go to law school in a year but I'd like to take a year off and just work. Of course I have no job as of yet. I feel so distant from all of my friends from back home (Vegas). They have all been changing since they each turned 21...got too cool it seems. I have once again fallen for the wrong girl, one who is not really available. The fun thing this time is that it's pretty much my best friend from home and her current boyfriend is a friend of mine. How shady is that? So now I find myself with feelings that I feel I SHOULD NOT HAVE. I'm so scared that I'm gonna lose her as a friend after all is said and done.
Oh well, I know I don't know any of you but that's what's going on with me currently.
 
My life fucking sucks right now.
No gf.
Close to failing out of college.
Very few friends.
I don't see the big picture.
peace
RP
 
Dagny-- I admire you for following your heart where ever it takes you.
I'm too chicken to just pick up and move right now. I guess I'm still way insecure.
Right now... I feel plebian. No hopes. No dreams. No ambitions. And worst of all, lack of motivation to make it better.
Living with my parents bites the big one. I am and always will be a failure in their eyes.. and no matter how hard to try, it will never change, I'm afraid. They are insisting I dump the one person who loves me unconditionally, and totally taken away my social life. I'm just a hermit in this house.. and only things they say to me are critisms.. no niceness anymore.. nothing TO motivate me.
I feel lost in a little cave.. Soon.. I'll even start talking to myself. My mom keeps saying I'm dipping back to my old ways. Personally, I'm REALLY fucking depressed these days. No helping it. I guess that's what she means. If she wants to see old ways, she should've been there this summer. Cocaine all over the place. I've been VERY good these past few months. I'm starting to rely on alcohol for comfort though... Its been a while since I did that too.. but when you nearly have a panic attack every time you speak to your mother.. you start to question your immediate sanity.
this is all..
Glad to see those WHO ARE doing well, are.
~peace
 
Kat, I speak from personal experience - you have to get away from your mother. It doesn't mean that we don't love them in whatever way it is that we do love them. But in order to stop yourself from learning to hate her, you have to go. You will thank yourself for it after the initial shocks, your own sanity is worth it.
 
Things have actually been doing REALLY good. Yesterday I got to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was so amazing!
We have picked out names..... Joselyn Micheline...and Caleb Vincent! We wanted to decide before he leaves!
I have been spending as much time possible with my boy, going to myrtle for a few days, and just being together 24/7! I am really gonna miss him! He is the best! Tonight his mom is coming into town, looking forward to meeting her!
Besides being with him I haven't been up to much at all! Well...off to read my book!
Glad to hear whom is doing well is doing well!
Best of luck to you all!
 
craziness....first yesterday one of my best friends got locked up until June 21st, last night at a party my old girlfriend broke down and told me she still wanted to be with me and all kinds of good shit, and then about 2 AM this morning we totalled my friends car after hitting a jump at about 70 and rear ending a car and flipping over a hill to be stopped by a tree. We were all shitfaced, and myself and the others in the car decided we should run back to our friends house as it was on like 1 street away.
The driver got arrested and got a DUI and after he got out of the police station had his dad drop him back off at the friends house
 
Skydancer and any other oldies out there......remember me???? It's been quite awhile!
Can you believe that Angela is now 23 years old, is no longer abusing drugs, is married, and has returned to college to pursue a degree in Fashion Design. She works part-time as a waitress to help pay for college.
She says she and her husband don't have much time for raves/parties anymore, and the last one they went to had 14 year olds running around high on Ecstasy. She said the raves where they used to go have been banned. But they did go to a 3-day rave this summer somewhere in Michigan (Detroit?)
My younger daughter is now 17 and doesn't use drugs, but her boyfriend is considering taking 'Shrooms. I'd rather he didn't. I don't want another daughter becoming addicted and having to go into rehab.
Well, Skydancer and any other oldies who remember me, let me hear from you!!!! What's new in your lives?
Love,
mom
 
Hi mom! Great to see you on here again. :) Glad to hear that everything turned out okay with Angela and that even the little drug fiends do grow up sometime - I know, I did too :) I hope your friendship with your daughters is great, I still think it's admirable what you went through in order to understand and get closer to your daughter! Beyond words.
I have sort of "rediscovered" my parents as well in the past year. It was a hard year for me, but it was a good wake-up call. In the end they are infinitely more valuable to me than I thought, and I am trying to start giving something back to them as well. It's new for me, though, having traditionally assumed more the similar "troubled teen" role than that of a family member. But we're getting somewhere... :)
Good to see that you've still not forgotten our little site. Well, it's not that little anymore, but there's a lot of new stuff such as this forum that you'd surely like. I like to think that as a whole our community has become more rounded as well. Most of our volunteers have grown beyond the late-teen experimentation phase, and we watch our users.. and chastize them for doing stupid things, well, almost like parents. ;)
To a warm and healthy future!
sd :)
 
Well I am sooo happy to hear how everyone is doing. I haven't visited the board in a few months. A lot of things have been going on :)
I see my sister has already spread the happiest of my news to you all, thanx MissTwitch! It's true I am pregnant and due the middle of September. Compared to all of the bad things that have been and are going on it kind of makes them seem to be of lesser value than I would normal. Babies just make things a little happier!
I have moved from FL back to my hometown in NY. It's freezing and snowing. The worst thing is I can't go to the beach. My reasoning for moving home was because of the baby. The father will be of no help to me at all. Which is my fault for getting involved with such a man. I seem to be putting up with loser after loser these days. I know I must raise my standards. I am just afraid to be alone. Anyways, I moved home so that I could raise my child with the love of my family around to make up for the loss of having a father in it's little life. I thought it would be best here where my entire family is around to help make sure my child won't suffer too much from being raised soley by me. I hate it here, it's boring and I have left so many people(friends) that I love behind, but I truly think it is in the best interest for my child to be near the family. I just keep praying for warmth soon ;)
In leaving FL I also left behind my vehicle and a job that I loved. So I now find myself dealing with starting over. Something that I am so used to doing because I seem to run when soemthing big happens such as this. I have applied for a collections position which won't prove to be as fun and fast paced as my last job but the money will be better. I then will work on getting another car and finding a place where my baby and I will have to ourselves. I am bouncing back and forth between Mommy and Daddy now. They get jealous if I spend too much time at the others house.
It is a scary thought that I will be raising this baby all on my own. Which was my choice the father wanted me to stay with him. I had to make the choice that I thought in my and the babies best interest. Besides I am convinced after all the supporting of him I did (financially) that he only wants me there to pay his bills anyway. I wish the father was going to be there for me through this. I wonder everday if I have what it takes to do this on my own. I think I do, I just pray that I am right. I do know that I am blessed to have a little life growing inside me, and I will do whatever it takes to give this baby the world :)
I have been trying for the babies sake to not dwell on the bad things that have been happening. I know it is not healthy to stress, and I have a problem with over stressing everything. I have to concentrate on staying relaxed. I had a scare about two weeks ago when the doctors couldn't pick up the babies heartbeat, They immediatly sent me off to the hospital for a sonogram to be sure things were ok. I was freaked, I convinced myself in the waiting room that all the stress I was under had hurt my baby. From there on after I found out everything was ok I have realized that I have to stay calm and try not to let things get me down. It's hard but I know it's something I have to do.
Reading all of your posts today have made me a little happier than normal. I strayed from BL for awhile and had forgotten the wonders of the Life forum. I am so glad to be back :) I missed you all!
It's late and time for bed....good night all and take care!
~LP
 
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