3gs Kratom
30mg 7-hydroxymitragynine
30mg Pseudomitragynine
1mg Phenazolam
10mg Vilazodone
7.5mg Mirtazapine
150mg Oxcarbazepine
Coffee
Nicotine
Thc vape
I didn't really want to wake up or get out of my bed at all today. I was pretty successful with it until forcing myself up to try and be a human around 5pm.
I managed to go over 24 hours without any kratom, so that was nice to be able to get my brain a break, but it kinda sucks how dysfunctional I become, and how much better I feel after dosing the 7ohm. If I get the chance to not have to work on Saturday sometime soon, I'm going to try and extend that break to 48 hours and see how I do. I'm stuck trying to do the "junkie contemplation" that is required to make peace with the fact that i simply can't function, or do the amount of physical work is required to get through the day without chemical aid. And so whatever, I shouldn't beat myself up about it and just keep trying to do my best.
The small amount of time I had this weekend, I tried to fix my computer and ran into headaches about it and now I'm kinda stuck with it. Overall, I've just been pretty depressed, so I'm trying to get back to being regular with my psych meds, because I notice I do just feel a bit better and able to be functional when I'm taking the vybriid.
Gonna shower, watch some football and read, and crash out and get ready for the next round.
Sending everyone love, sweet dreams and all that
