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What Was YOUR Nightly Fix? v. Can't Sleep Sober

I guess it doesn't hurt to live by the phrase "eat to live, don't live to eat". After all, food addiction is a thing, and at least that's one less thing you gotta worry about being addicted to. If what you're doing feels right and even doctors say your doing okay, then I suppose nobody can tell you otherwise. Its your body and your choice to do what you will with it, i always say, even if treating it like a temple isn't part of the routine. You do you. Its your right.
Except, I was on a bad comedown when I wrote that, and I am not sure it makes sense, or if it does, I am pretty sure it is depressing, or reckless for no reason. That is not how I like to be.

What I was trying to get across, is my stimulant use is manifold abuse, extreme, and dangerous. I do reach points where I am in hyperthermia quite often, which is a good indicator I am currently in neurotoxic dyshomeostasis, i.e. dealing myself brain and/or heart damage. Not what anyone should be shooting for. So, given that I am what I yam, I really have to do everything else I can to fight the damage meth can to to a body and mind.

So eating, sleeping, keeping cool, thinking positive, exercising (i mean, that one, I really should do but don't), bathing, hydrating, never indulging fear or doubt, while still checking myself for illusions of control in all these things I just mentioned, are of paramount importance to me. When you are talking about probable permanent brain and heart damage, a lack of appetite, a clenched jaw, a tore up dry mouth, a lack of interest, negative feelings about myself, all those things pale before the grisly reality of rapidly aging myself right now, as well as chopping off years far ahead, for good. So I eat, try to feel positive about it, and enjoy the flavors, aromas, full feeling, and knowledge that I am reducing harms by doing so.
 
Except, I was on a bad comedown when I wrote that, and I am not sure it makes sense, or if it does, I am pretty sure it is depressing, or reckless for no reason. That is not how I like to be.

What I was trying to get across, is my stimulant use is manifold abuse, extreme, and dangerous. I do reach points where I am in hyperthermia quite often, which is a good indicator I am currently in neurotoxic dyshomeostasis, i.e. dealing myself brain and/or heart damage. Not what anyone should be shooting for. So, given that I am what I yam, I really have to do everything else I can to fight the damage meth can to to a body and mind.

So eating, sleeping, keeping cool, thinking positive, exercising (i mean, that one, I really should do but don't), bathing, hydrating, never indulging fear or doubt, while still checking myself for illusions of control in all these things I just mentioned, are of paramount importance to me. When you are talking about probable permanent brain and heart damage, a lack of appetite, a clenched jaw, a tore up dry mouth, a lack of interest, negative feelings about myself, all those things pale before the grisly reality of rapidly aging myself right now, as well as chopping off years far ahead, for good. So I eat, try to feel positive about it, and enjoy the flavors, aromas, full feeling, and knowledge that I am reducing harms by doing so.
I guess all I can say to that is do what you can to stay safe, as hard as that may be when your playing with fire. People can't fathom my routine sometimes either, but what works for one person might not work for another. Sometimes it takes years of trial and error before you find a routine that feels comfortable enough that you can function normally, or at least pass as normal.
 
50mg Quetiapine

:sleep:

Interesting dreams. I wonder if that's repeatable..
I took seroquel once while I was in detention in highschool. It wasn't a fun experience. I thought I was on the verge of passing out so I told the detention staff I felt sick. They believed me and my mom picked me up. She believed me too. Even to the point of letting me drive back home from her job since she was still on the clock. Luckily her job was a straight shot from our apartment (took literally half a minute to drive back home) or else I probably would've fell asleep while driving. My only chore was to pick her back up. I woke up to the sound of pounding on the door and it was my mom and the landlord. I apologized for oversleeping and that was that. It wore off quickly once I woke up. I could see someone using that as a rohypnol substitute, which is a scary thought.
 
Damn, you probably were on the verge of passing out! I only took it with the intention of getting some sleep and hopefully sleeping through the night without waking up and it worked pretty well.

Must've gotten 8/9 hours out of it. Which beats the 3 hours of sober sleep I've been getting. As well as some vivid ass dreams, not necessarily nightmares or joyous in nature but just felt so real.
 
Damn, you probably were on the verge of passing out! I only took it with the intention of getting some sleep and hopefully sleeping through the night without waking up and it worked pretty well.

Must've gotten 8/9 hours out of it. Which beats the 3 hours of sober sleep I've been getting. As well as some vivid ass dreams, not necessarily nightmares or joyous in nature but just felt so real.
If i remember correctly, I didn't take more than 1 pill. That stuff is crazy strong. I assume its pretty similar to quaaludes (which ended production years before i was born).
 
It actually works as a sedative at the H1 receptor moreso than an antipsychotic in the lower doses, so 25-50mg is all you really need for sleep.

I've never tried ludes unfortunately but I think they're your more standard GABA sedation we all know and love.
 
It actually works as a sedative at the H1 receptor moreso than an antipsychotic in the lower doses, so 25-50mg is all you really need for sleep.

I've never tried ludes unfortunately but I think they're your more standard GABA sedation we all know and love.
A lot of folks think xanax or valium would be the most similar to ludes. All I know is I would've tried it if I was around when they were still around. For better or worse, I like to try most drugs at least once.
 
50mg of quetiapine, didn't hit me anywhere near as hard as yesterday but did provide vivid dreams again. Guess I'll have to avoid consecutive daily dosing.

I do feel like I'm waking up a hell of a lot calmer than usual. Maybe it's just from less restless sleep. Maybe I just need to be sedated.
 
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50mg of quetiapine, didn't hit me anywhere near as hard as yesterday but did provide vivid dreams again. Guess I'll have to avoid consecutive daily dosing.

I do feel like I'm waking up a hell of a lot calmer than usual. Maybe it's just from less restless sleep. Maybe I just need to be sedated.
As an insomniac, I can relate. Whatever helps put my flat ass into quality sleep is a nice bonus in my book. Haha.
 
Earlier in the evening~20mg noopept with 400mg alcar(acetyl l carintine), 50mg cdp choline, 2grams vit-c and 200mg caffeine

Within the last 3-4 hours~
On my 3rd 24oz malt liquor(9% alc)
40mg methadone
Bowl of good weed and cigs
Monster vanilla Java 300mg caffeine
 
Earlier in the evening~20mg noopept with 400mg alcar(acetyl l carintine), 50mg cdp choline, 2grams vit-c and 200mg caffeine

Within the last 3-4 hours~
On my 3rd 24oz malt liquor(9% alc)
40mg methadone
Bowl of good weed and cigs
Monster vanilla Java 300mg caffeine
I love cigs, weed, and methadone. Booze is pretty good as long as it doesn't lead to hair-of-the-dog type of problems (been there once. Never again). And by the way, that's a lot of caffeine. Haha.
 
600ug of clonazolam.
3 beers and one gin and tonic.
Bowl of just kief.
50mg Hydroxine.
Magnesium supplement.
5mg melatonin.
Weed and melatonin are a nightly routine for me. So are opiates and ZzzQuil (the kind with acetaminophen and 10% alcohol). Haha.
 
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