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What Was YOUR Nightly Fix? v. Can't Sleep Sober

same old same old

hey ! i get to go to pain management on march 17. so maybe i will be able to pace my doses more. who knows. i'm just scared.
 
Just some weed but had some heroin this morning after waiting 3 bloody hours for the man and had my methadone straight after so this split is probably gonna knock my head off I got a really low virgin like tolerance to weed especially compared to what my weed tolerance used to be I used to put half a gram in a spliff 3-4 years back now I put probably less than 0.1 in a one sheet and usually can't have more than 3 drags at a time one good things that's fine from my heroin addiction lmao
 
Vaping and had 20mg Diazepam earlier, not pushing it as am usually quite cautious mixing these two (Tramadol being the other).
 
40 mg oxy er
50 mg delta 8 gummy
Strong cup of coffee
It’s like a mommy speed ball , feeling energized, content and relaxed 💓
 
2 cones of some high grade indica
60mg hydrocodone
100mg dph
25mg promethazine
Cigs/nicotine
1 big bong rip right before I went to sleep

Been on these hydros for a couple days, it’s time for a break.

Luckily my alprazolam will help with that
 
30mg cbd
100mg hydroxyzine
10mg olanzapine

Trying to relax but a little on edge tonight
 
No complaints. My ex just got approved and scheduled for top surgery after five years of medical industrial complex footsie; talked by text for a little while, it was nice. I have faith that we'll find a way to make friendship work (not so sure other days, but fuck it, that's today).

SO:
Nicotine, vaped
2 shots CC rye
Couple kava chewies
25g red vein kratom, divided between two doses
Mole enchiladas on homemade masa tortillas
AAA+ cannabis indica (pipe)
Fallout 4

Man, hadn't had kratom in months until today... thoroughly underwhelmed. Alas; oh, to just be whelmed ;----;
But noooo ordering any more brorphine
Bad, bad dog
playing fallout 4? or did they name a strain that?. great game. i've been gettin my ass kicked in bloodborne the past few days lol
 
Nightly? 1 capful of pain relief ZzzQuil with 10% alcohol, 10mg melatonin gummies, 5mg percocet, and a shitload of weed. I drink heavily about 1 night a week as well and about once a month I like to treat myself to a dose of 200mg oxy or 300mg of morphine along with some nitrous oxide for an extra kick. I also smoke weed pretty much 24/7, which helps, but without opiates i don't think I'd be able to sleep. Insomnia is gonna be a bitch when I have to quit.
 
playing fallout 4? or did they name a strain that?. great game. i've been gettin my ass kicked in bloodborne the past few days lol
my all time favoritist game. fallout 3 was pretty good but 4 takes the GOAT trophy home for the decade
 
1200 mg of Gabapentin. Staggered
2 grams of Red Bali kratom
2 shots of Amsterdam vodka
Not much else got home chores to do
 
30mg cbd
100mg hydroxyzine

Trying to wash the days anxiety off of me
 
It’s 2:30 AM Saturday and all I have left to work with is:

5 mg valium
5 mg zolpidem
25 mg seroquel

I was shocked to see my stash so depleted and got a bit freaked cause I’m so amped. Speed walked to the pharmacy to get a refill of seroquel but script had expired.

Probably gonna have to ride this out until Monday afternoon when I see my shrink again but don’t wanna go see him after 72 hours awake...
 
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