30mg Adderall
1 tab of lsd
Bunch of mavericks
mfin gummi bears & other dumb sugar shit
I am purposely trying to go into today with a sense of optimism, despite whatever nonsense happens to run through my head most days. I feel like I've become a bit emotionally burnt out and am starting to wallow a little bit. It doesn't matter what I'm going through though. I can't get like that. I have to continue, I've got shit to do. Here, as well as irl. There's people out there that benefit from my existence and I should consider that in my constant internal value fluctuations of myself. I've got music to make, shit to write, stupid food to make for fat people so I can earn a living, a better life to grow into. I'm not letting any "other" person define my value for me. Not a boss, not some bitch. It's stupid, and I've already learned the "lesson" on codependent relationships when my marriage ended nearly two years ago. But I nevertheless keep falling for the trap. It's dumb, but I'm wading my way through it, without about as much grace as I can muster at the moment.