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What Was Your Morning Fix? v. I Can't Breathe, I Need A Cigarette

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Coffee
Cig
about to IV 4mg subutex

Really wish I still had some of my vistaril, it really complemented the bupe rather nicely. I think I'm gonna ask my doctor for a script of baclofen. They gave it to me in rehab and it greatly helped out with the bupe, and it wasn't too sedating but worked awesome for my neck pain and muscle spasms. They also showed a video that had some kind of study on baclofen going on, and the researchers were saying that baclofen shows much promise with treating addiciton. Apperently they gave it to a crackhead and took images of his brain while they were showing him pictures of drugs/cocaine/triggers, and his brain without the baclofen was showing huge cravings (dopamine). But after they gave him baclofen and showed him the same images, dopamine levels had dropped dramatically while they were showing him drug-use provoking images. Kind of interesting.
 
50mg methadone
800mg cimetidine
900mg gabapentin
Coffee
Smoked a bowl of a potent, hybrid strain of "Blueberry something" (Was on a hefty dose of Xanax, methadone, and Phenergan at the time of purchase, so my memory is a little fucked)

Might go grab some cigs from the store. Getting on 'Done has my nicotine cravings back in action, as well as my candy-sugar-addiction haha.
 
Didn't sleep last nite so I'll start my morning dose at 4:20 am.
4:20am- Iv'd a point and a half of h
Smoked a bunch of herb
Ate 1mg of kpin
7:00am. Had a lil coffee with another mg of kpin
And more weed, oh yeah and pleanty of marbs.
Took like a 45min nap then watched tv till noon.
12:00pm- Finally my methadone got here, jus ate 40mgs and smoked another bowl.
 
Camel Cigarette and 90 mg methadone.
What drug are we gonna take today Brain?
Methodone Pinky, same drug we take everyday!
At least im thankful i live in a country where there is MMT and i dont have to resort to using Krokodil.
 
4mg IV subutex
4mg etilaam (Etizest brand) much better quality than Intas. IMO
Dab of some AFGoo with reclaim on it
Cereal and cigs.
 
A bowl of weed, cup of coffee, .5mg kolonopin, .5mg bupe iv'd, cig, all in that order. Will prolly pick up a donut on my way to work :)
 
got home after 20km cycle. ate 25mg valium and prepped 200mg iv morphine which i had in the shower too cool down n freshen up.

now sipping fresh french press coffee with a cigarette, a few tokes of weed on the way!

im exhausted and jelly like but in the zone likd bugsy malone, mayne. gonna sleep like a princess tonight!
 
Been in opiate wd for 2 days now, had to take time off work due to the wd's. They have never been this bad before. This morning I was thinking of the quickest way to off myself... Even google ways to off my self and to my suprise there were plenty of sites and people explianing/ telling you the quickest least painfull way to go. Make a long story short im to much of a vag to off myself and kept telling my self its the drugs and not me. This morning I told a close friend that I wanted to off myself cus I dodnt know what to do. Mind u I'm in mild benzo wd aswell. My buddy told me pretty much to hang in there and is bringing me some kratom and pot. About an hour ago my aunt came by amd gave me 20 mgs of methadone and am finally started to feel some what normal. Wow, I was on the verge of killing myslf this morning all cus I couldn't handle the wds. Anyways you can say my morning/afternoon dose was 20mgs of mdones and 25mgs of diph.
Guess I jus needed to vent and bluelight was the only place where I feel comfortable venting info like this. Opiates will rape your soul. I love the shit out of em, but i hate them as well. Lifes perfect while on em, no pain, no axienty etc but when im off em I feel like I'm in hell.
 
To the postee above hang in there man things will be alright an suicide should never be the answer. Its all only momentary soon you will feel better maybe by dose or even kicking it eventually.

My withdrawls have made me a mess at work due to social anxiety and workin for a company that sees hundreds of different people every day.
I want to cut the shit but at the same time I'm always wanting to get high..
 
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