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What to talk about when you've bypassed your family?

blissfulMenace

blissfulMenace

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 7, 2005
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Location
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I've notice recently after a couple of years of school (Physics+Astronomy majors at UTAustin) That when I come home and talk about school, nobody has a damned clue what I am talking about.

I thought it would be nice to catch up to my family intellectually, but now it seems that they cannot keep up.

Don't get me wrong, my family all has degrees, as of right now my mom and dad are both in grad school right now, they are smart people, but they have no idea what I am talking about when I discuss what I love.

So what do you guys do when family asks how your research/classes are going? I feel bad responding with "Alright" everytime, but if I try to go into detail about what I am working on they just give me blank stares.
 
They may not have any idea of what you're talking about, but they still want to hear how you are doing. I'd say oblige them and when you feel like they're getting bored, change the subject or ask how their classes are going. Then you can return the blank stare :D
 
Talk about the aspects of your study which everyone can relate to, rather than the technical content that you're learning. So you can discuss the experience of study, the people you meet, the different professors you have, the experience of being at university, time management issues, relating to others, the challenges of research (without going into specifics about the content), the experience of collecting data (again without specifics about content), the way it changes how you see the world, etc.

You'll find the actual content of what you want to talk about difficult to discuss with others for obvious reasons. If you want to talk about that, do it in a very general way without technical language, in a way that will interest them. Maybe relate it to something in the media or something like that.

Just keep in mind what you actually have in common with them. You don't have physics in common with them. But you have university study, and everything that goes along with it, in common with them. So you can discuss that.
 
Get your parents a book along the lines of Hawking's Universe in a Nutshell or something. Then Hawking does the hard part of simplifying and explaining everything you are learning, and you can slip some weed into the 'rents brownies and you can all chat about background radiation, big bang, string/brane theory, relativity, grand unified theory etc. etc. until you blow their minds.

Or just watch The Big Bang Theory with them and explain the jokes :( ...worst show ever
 
Currently in 4th year and doing a research project. I don't talk about uni with my parents. Neither of them received further education after high school.

The thought never really crossed my mind that I was supposed to talk about it with them, I talk about it with my classmates more than enough.
 
Same here... my parents only have an elementary education (poor Portuguese immigrants fleeing to avoid military service!). I'm actually the first in all of my extended family (cousins, uncles, aunts etc) to attend university and get a BA. So let's just say I don't expect them to be particularly interested in what I'm doing. They feel proud and they're interested in the daily challenges every student faces, but they never ask about my particular field of research or anything specific. It actually helps me to put things in perspective - contrarily to some of my classmates who seem to believe that their research will change the world forever.
 
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I'm from a working class family, where most barely even finish highschool, yet I have a BA and am currently a semester away from having an MA as well. Sometimes I talk about stuff I'm learning, but also when it's applicable to the conversation. I don't use technical terms either, I try to explain things as simply as possible. Sometimes "random facts" that I can sum up along my educational way make for good home on break tidbits, and I'll throw that stuff out there, but thats it. It's sorta strange, I know...they are so proud of us and love us so much but we can't share one of the things we love with them 8)
 
I hear a lot of useful things here in discussing life with my parents. To the few of you here who say you don't talk to your parents about school what do you talk to them about?

I got in a lot of trouble when I was younger so I kind of like to brag if you will, or keep them informed of things that I am learning and progress that I am making.

I have also grown really close to them over the years and would like to maintain that relationship, so I feel that it is important that they understand what I am passionate about. I mean my dad is in business and I ask him questions that pertain to his classes and what he is doing in his life, so is it unreasonable to expect them to hold the same interest in what I am doing?

I guess in short I feel I live the aspects of my life I am not strongest at vicariously through my parents by heeding what they have to teach me and feel they could learn much from me too. However I cannot figure out how to keep them from shutting down when I mention something like "magnetic field" or "500x the pressure the atmosphere puts on you"
 
blissfulMenace said:
I guess in short I feel I live the aspects of my life I am not strongest at vicariously through my parents by heeding what they have to teach me and feel they could learn much from me too. However I cannot figure out how to keep them from shutting down when I mention something like "magnetic field" or "500x the pressure the atmosphere puts on you"
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So don't talk to them about magnetic fields. This is what I mean about discussing the experience, but not the actual content, of study. They don't know anything about magnetic fields and they're probably not that interested. But the process of learning, the experience of being at university, the pleasures and challenges of study and the way that study increases your appreciation of the world, those are all things they will be interested in and relate to.
 
But what if blissfulMenace shuts down when people mention the list of things you just did? Not everyone thinks about the world in the way you just described. I would be hard pressed to tell you anything about the process of learning I use; but I'll encyclopedically list all the facts I learned for you.
 
blissfulMenace said:
I've notice recently after a couple of years of school (Physics+Astronomy majors at UTAustin) That when I come home and talk about school, nobody has a damned clue what I am talking about.

I thought it would be nice to catch up to my family intellectually, but now it seems that they cannot keep up.

Don't get me wrong, my family all has degrees, as of right now my mom and dad are both in grad school right now, they are smart people, but they have no idea what I am talking about when I discuss what I love.

So what do you guys do when family asks how your research/classes are going? I feel bad responding with "Alright" everytime, but if I try to go into detail about what I am working on they just give me blank stares.
Click to expand...
This happens to me all the time. I'm a chemistry and physics student.

I've come to realize that any concept in physics can be explained straightforwardly to anyone with at least a third grader's level of comprehension. This applies to any concept, from newton's force laws to black-body radiation to electron-positron annihilation, whatever. None of these concepts are essentially complicated, in fact they are the antithesis of complicated-- they are fundamental. The only complicated part is the abstract logical machinery that we employ for prediction, which is basically irrelevant outside of the specific context of prediction.

So if your family gets confused when you try to explain a concept to them, it means that you don't really understand the concept-- you just understand the qualitative/quantitative machinery that represents the concept abstractly. Many physics students can consistently ace exams without actually intuitively understanding the core principles governing the phenomena they are being asked to analyze. Don't be one of these students!

Translating physical concepts into simple everyday language is actually a momentously valuable tool for improving your comprehension of the material; so sit down and try to explain the concept as simply as possible (but not simpler, as Einstein said). Its not an easy task, in fact you will probably find it harder than solving very complex problems, because you have to start from a point that doesn't exceed the comprehension of non-scientists, and then lead them to an understanding of the concept step-wise through creatively-arranged explanation.

Physics is just the study of reality, so the only prerequisite one needs in order to understand physics is to have experienced reality. There is always common-ground on which to base any explanation of any physical phenomena; if your audience gets lost conceptually, its because you have led them astray of the truth. A master of a concept should be able to convey it effortlessly; as if there ceases to be any boundary between the concept itself and the mind which has mastered it. Of course this is not easy, and for most, unattainable; however it's certainly a worthy goal to keep in mind.
 
OP: The real intellectual bad-asses are the ones who can explain difficult concepts in crisp, clear ways that anybody could understand. And that ability comes with practice. So, my advice to you is to study harder.


Edit: Oh snap. I just realized that Roger & Me said essentially the same thing, only in greater detail.
 
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I agree wholeheartedly with ^and^^

I always feel I understand something the best after being able to teach it to someone else with far less understanding
 
Agreed with Roger&Me as well. Both my parents are extremely smart and both have Master's degrees, but my mom never has any idea what I'm on about (I'm a biochem major, she's an attorney with an electrical engineering degree). As my dad gets into the medical sciences, he's actually been asking me more questions, but science has changed, ahem, quite a freakin lot in the last 35 years, lol, so a lot of the time I'm speaking greek to him (even though he also has an electrical engineering degree -guess where my parents met... :D). Just try to find some kind of common ground and explain things at a basic level - I know it's going to be harder in physics than biology, but it can certainly be done.
 
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