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What makes bad sex so bad?

straight male here.

1. not being all that attracted to the other person.
2. Bad sexual chemistry - this is an odd one. you might be attracted to the other person but for some reason the sexual chemistry is off.
3. girls that are self-conscious of their body and will only want to fuck with the lights off or not do it in some positions.
4. girls who are prudish in bed. ie. someone who will not do doggy style and other positions.
5. girls who just lie there or have bad technique. ie. girls who when they are on top don't know what they are doing. they jut kind of thoughtlessly move up and down. this has become less of a problem the older I have gotten (as I generally sleep with women in their early 20's plus) but there are still plenty who don't know what they are doing.
6. bad kissing
 
I was married for almost 28 years and near the end, when things were going very downhill, and before we stopped sleeping together, she used to try to do sex for me. However, having a woman under me that just told me to "do her", is not a turn-on in my book. Basically, she'd have no desire whatsoever and wanted to just lay there like a corpse and let me use her hole to cum. Good Lord, I may get desperate from time to time but this is more pathetic than exciting even recognizing she "is" trying to give me "something". Sorry but that just doesn't cut it. Feels like necrophilia.

The other problem I have is that she'd want me to go down on her but would act like my dick was made of pure shit when it was my turn. She might lick the shaft during 69 but no way was it going in her mouth. Pure frustration!

With all of the problems we had in the last 10 years of our marriage, I'd rather just take things in my own hands; know what I mean? Obviously we're no longer married but wow the sex really dropped off the table, so bad I didn't even want it. And I am a red-blooded horny dude! That should say it all.
 
Straight male.

Not enough foreplay...I don't generally want to just bang a girl. I want to kiss her, pet her all over, go down on her, suck her breasts...the foreplay is the best part, and while banging after a lot of foreplay is REALLY awesome too, just like going right into it is usually boring for me. Exceptions occur, like if it's cause she is just really, really wanting a banging and is impatient or there is not enough time and she just wants some sexual stuff. (Of course, I'm happy to just quickly nom her too and finish up later.)

Rough sex in the sense of "Forceful but lacking co-ordination and finesse" I really love forceful, vigorous sex. But I'm straight up, not into just fucking like an animal, or otherwise just doing it in a rushed, sloppy, dis coordinated way. Think of the difference between a drunk, roided up guido beating up someone in a bar (Forceful, but sloppy and not finessed) vs high level martial artist in a competition or a highly trained person like an SOF troop or a SWAT Officer carrying out a deliberate and planned operation...they're also forceful...arguably more so, but there is an exquisite elegance about it. Another analogy is 17 year old kid who snatched his Dad's keys to his Porsche joy riding it downtown vs a Formula 1 racer. The latter is not only blowing the kid out of the water in terms of speed (hardness/force/vigour) but is also doing it with such precision and skill that it's like performance art.

Not open to trying to stuff/very conservative in bed. The worst is girls who won't even let you nom them or who insist on missionary only.

Doggy style...tbpfh...it's a shit position. I will never understand the obsession with it in popular culture.

Lack of eye contact or touching/petting/kissing during banging...part of why I don't like doggy...but doggy also sucks from a simple mechanistic point of view in terms of efficiency for things like energy required, and the lack of ability for her to grind her clit on my pubic bone and stuff. This is probably why I like girl on top the most. It gives so much access and eye contact and ability to talk to each other, etc.

Loud shrieking and yelling and stupid dirty talk AAAH! AAAAH! AAAAAAAAH! YEah, fuck me hard daddy! I'm a bad little cum slut!"...STFU, and bye...I'm gonna go home and fap.

Not wanting to cuddle/pet/kiss OR go out/internet/talk/get high/do something after. Dunno, it just sort of makes the experience not all that enjoyable to me when they just want to bounce after. Like, ok, if you don't want to cuddle, that's cool. But let's go out and get food, or whatever then.
 
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Illyria99 said:
Because every guy who fucks me mentions it...and they really like it.

It's not always a good thing for me, especially when I'm not wet.
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I think every guy is going to tell you that you are tight when they are fucking you. Sorry to burst your bubble.
 
psytaco said:
straight male here.

1. not being all that attracted to the other person.
2. Bad sexual chemistry - this is an odd one. you might be attracted to the other person but for some reason the sexual chemistry is off.
3. girls that are self-conscious of their body and will only want to fuck with the lights off or not do it in some positions.
4. girls who are prudish in bed. ie. someone who will not do doggy style and other positions.
5. girls who just lie there or have bad technique. ie. girls who when they are on top don't know what they are doing. they jut kind of thoughtlessly move up and down. this has become less of a problem the older I have gotten (as I generally sleep with women in their early 20's plus) but there are still plenty who don't know what they are doing.
6. bad kissing
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#2 is so true. YOu can be SO extremely attracted to someone, but have absolutely no sexual chemistry. Try explaining why you didn't get hard, that's tough.
 
pokepoke420 said:
#2 is so true. YOu can be SO extremely attracted to someone, but have absolutely no sexual chemistry. Try explaining why you didn't get hard, that's tough.
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I'm just really nervous/I'm on this medication/I don't think this is right
 
Its only ever 'bad' when one or both parties are uncomfortable, not fully participating, or in any other way causing a feeling of distance, unwillingness, or lack of interest.

For instance, recieving a BJ. If shes going at it like this is the greatest moment of her entire life, even if the technique is less than ideal, its going to be way more fun than someone with perfect technique who clearly wishes they were elsewhere.
 
Mugz said:
sometimes when a girl that you with, will not even explore the experience of me giving her head, however must trouble it has been for her in the past and then it just get's put aside and a wham bam thank you mam happens instead which we both seen to enjoy but I can't help feeling the wham bam thank you mam would be so much more pleasurable for her after the oral satisfaction. Good sex is had but not super great as I always aim to please and I obviously haven't pleased to the maximum amount if she hasn't had an orgasm
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It's not your fault (possibly). She is tensed up somewhere, either in body or in mind. Give her a day of relaxation and massages, without expecting anything, otherwise she will sense it and may get tense again. Start there. Teach her to relax and trust you.
 
You said it well lol. Personally I find the better the guy knows the women/girl the greater the sex for the women/girl. I'm married 15yr and we swingers and let me tell you no guy satisfy me better than my hubby coz he knows what I like. But its different when a women/girl have sex with a guy that she don't know and she want to impress him is to be a lady in the streets and a wild slut between the sheets.
 
KoreyS said:
This thread is geared more towards the females, but guys feel free to speak about bad sexual experiences and why they were bad in the first place.

When girls say "that sex/ guy was so bad in bed" I always wonder what caused it. What makes it so bad? Provided they had an average-large penis, I can't think of what could possibly make it that bad as some people describe it. Obviously everybodies sexual preferences vary when it comes to rough sex or "love-making" or whatever, but why so bad? The only thing I can think of is that I know some guys literally lack any ability to thrust their hips at all. I've seen a few amateur cuckold porn videos where the dude is fucking the other dudes wife or whatever and he mounts her in missionary and just lies there. I always think he's starting off gentle and about to work his way up to pounding her but he literally just lies there the whole time kissing her or rubbing her without going in and out at all lol. Is this what usually happens when you guys have "bad sex"?

In the past when you had really bad sex, what was it specifically that caused it to be bad?
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Probably when one or both persons are more concerned with themselves and their own internal dialog than the concern for both and the shared external dialogue.

The other night I had to endure through the movie "Bridesmaids." I rarely watch hollywood movies, so sometimes I come off as a cultural hermit to most people. Sort of like youre aging dad but dressed worse. I decided to use the time as an opportunity to observe the manufacture of consensus and culture in action, and get a feel for what the average Normopath does for entertainment. The opening scene depicts the main character having sex with an unattached partner. His sex is a perfect example of this. The movie seems to suggest that the man believes the sex is great, and portrays this woman's ability to perceive him as being clueless as to his lack of real connection to her, and lack of ability to really empathize with her enough to physically satisfy her. Still, the main character's emotions are temporarily satisfied, or perhaps abated at best, so the "relationship" continues.

That was bad sex. The guy diddnt even know it, lol!

he only thing I can think of is that I know some guys literally lack any ability to thrust their hips at all.
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do you believe there is absolutely nothing more going on with what we refer to as, chemistry, than physical contact in sensitive areas, when people are having sex?
 
Not every guy. If a girl is exceptionally tight, I tell her. Probably a lot of times. Ive probably only deeply expressed that to maybe 10% of the sexual partners Ive had in life. Just sayin, its not like some thing guys just always tell girls. Though, I am convinced every girl in the world tells every guy his dick is big ;)
 
rm-rf said:
Not every guy. If a girl is exceptionally tight, I tell her. Probably a lot of times. Ive probably only deeply expressed that to maybe 10% of the sexual partners Ive had in life. Just sayin, its not like some thing guys just always tell girls. Though, I am convinced every girl in the world tells every guy his dick is big ;)
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I assure you we don't! Luckily it's not something a hook-up would ever ask cuz I'd've had to lie through my teeth a few times...
 
KoreyS said:
What about when she rides you and instead of going up and down (in and out) she moves back and forth or to the sides like she's working a joystick lol
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Haha I call that the fat girl! I have had my fair share of chubbier girls and all of them seem to just rub back and forth with me inside them when they're on top. I think maybe because it is because they are to heavy to go up or down, maybe to much work? Or maybe that they are scared to crush me lol. I don
t know the reason but I don't mind it. It doesn't make the sex bad but it does nothing for me. It doesn't feel good or anything but that's alright because I want the girl to get off too!
 
Pagey said:
I assure you we don't! Luckily it's not something a hook-up would ever ask cuz I'd've had to lie through my teeth a few times...
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Ditto, I've never had a girl tell me cock was big. I've always had the truthful answer along the lines of "I've had bigger ones, and I've had smaller ones." i.e. it's more or less average/normal sized. Which, as far as I can tell, from looking at studies done by researches, a general back ground in bio/anat/med and from simply having seen a lot cocks in the course of gym/barracks/swimming pool/life style clubs etc, that is the case.

I'm not at all displeased with that, indeed, I'm happy with that because I would not want it to be huge...I like small, petite girls and it's going to be more usable with smaller/tighter vagoos if it's average than if it was huge. An bigger than average cak in smaller than average vagoo would not work well, and I think an average cak in a smaller than average vagoo is equivalent to a bigger than average cak in an average vagoo. So, for my preferred type of girl, it's the best size.
 
rangrz said:
Ditto, I've never had a girl tell me cock was big. I've always had the truthful answer along the lines of "I've had bigger ones, and I've had smaller ones." i.e. it's more or less average/normal sized. Which, as far as I can tell, from looking at studies done by researches, a general back ground in bio/anat/med and from simply having seen a lot cocks in the course of gym/barracks/swimming pool/life style clubs etc, that is the case.

I'm not at all displeased with that, indeed, I'm happy with that because I would not want it to be huge...I like small, petite girls and it's going to be more usable with smaller/tighter vagoos if it's average than if it was huge. An bigger than average cak in smaller than average vagoo would not work well, and I think an average cak in a smaller than average vagoo is equivalent to a bigger than average cak in an average vagoo. So, for my preferred type of girl, it's the best size.
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I love that you use the word 'vagoo' hahha.
Yeah, I mean basically if the guy doesn't ask me I don't bring it up unless it's particularly big and I can be honest in saying it, cuz I know it'll make him happy. But I wouldn't bring it up of my own accord and lie about it. Only guy who ever asked me was my LT ex but I suspect that's just because neither of us had ever had sex with anyone else and we were 15 at the time, so he probably needed the confidence boost. Luckily it was big so I could give it to him :p
 
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