Intenselife
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2013
- Messages
- 382
Ok, so about a few years ago when i was introduced into the world of drugs and eventually got to try all them except a few i quickly fell in love with uppers particularly with occassional use of meth. I hated downers at that point, until much later on I guess you could say till present day now. I fell in love with strong euphoria of adderall/meth and at that time never even binged on them or used them often because the comedown was so intense. I have a quiet a few experiences and memories of literally laying their feeling sooooo depressed that words can't explain, aching body, irritability, and not able to do anything sometimes upto a full two days without any binging. I loved the desire to be so interested in pretty much anything, clear thinking, and extreme energy to do anything but mainly just feeling very amazing about everything with the occassional tingles (amphetamine users know about those tingles). I hated downers because they didn't really motivate me to get much done or look at my life in a more positive manner, or ways to fix issues but rather just turn my mind off and make me real nauseous.
As much time has passed by and my recreational drug use has slowed down a lot due to moving situations, and focusing more on school and staying out of trouble. I have learned to like opiates probably after the first time and the only time i got to try heroin smoked black tar, because i didn't feel like throwing up or very itchy/irritable. And when i smoked weed with it, that's what made me realize that just because i didn't feel amazing off of oxycodone 20's that not all opiates are bad. I smoked the 15 dollars worth of black tar of unknown quality since i have like zero experience with heroin, and i got like 3 solid hits that tasted real bitter. I felt the pain relief and more upbeat than oxys but quickly smoked weed, and started feeling BUTTERFLIES ALL OVER MY STOMACH, (a sensation i never felt before) it's like when you have a huge crush on someone or are in love with someone but the feeling goes away fast but it stayed for a few hours and was tingling all over me unlike oxys that i knew so many people were in love with. However that was awhile back, and after experimenting with codeine t4's after a minor surgery (i told them i didn't want the oxycodone) I for some reason really liked the feeling of taking like 180mg codeine with no tolerance and sometimes a bit more, although it was sedating it was pretty euphoric and did NOT have no comedowns or after effects like amphetamines did. Same thing with the few times i tried morphine (besides heroin, my favorite opiate followed by codeine, than oxys, least hydros). Although i didn't love the experience that much then, i look back at it now and realized it was great to feel even more pain free than usual and warm. Then after trying oxy's again at a lower dosage i seemed to like them too, but didn't LOVE it. Hydro's i found frequently unused on vacations at various relative's house's. I realized i had to take quiet a bit of them and all that tylenol to feel somewhat good but not mindblowing.
Now anyways that was a little history of a little experience with each type of drug for background info before i get to the main point of this thread. Since over a year now, i've had much less opportunities to try drugs/pills since i moved to a very lame city, and other factors. But as always it seems to be meth that finds itself to me the easiest (especially in the gay community, since i am gay). I would try to look for pills like oxy's or even better in my opinion codeine/morphine/heroin but never found anyone with that but like once. But meth was what i ran into and i wasn't looking for it because of the nasty comedowns and the shitty feeling i would get from even snorting like 2 lines. I remember having no comedowns or negative after effects from recreationally doing opiates if anything i felt better the next day and refreshed, if worst came to worse i would just get real itchy or nauseous during the high but that was only for a few hours. After giving in and playing around with meth here and there and smoking it for the first time with a pipe i realized that i mastered the technique quick and would sometimes binge for a few days every month like 5 or 6 times. This particular batch that i would got like 3 of the times was far better than the meth that i would love and hate in my previous city. I would take 5-6 (giant not medium) hits and i would against the rule of blowing it out right away and instead hold them in for 15 seconds or so. I finally experienced a rush, where my face would get so tingly, head, and even my arms although it would wear off in an hour and was a gentler high. My comedowns from even using almost half a gram in two days weren't THAT bad compared to the comedowns i remember from doing like snorting two lines (20) in the past. I would just be real sleepy for a few days and slightly depressed but overall didn't feel as shitty as in the past (This is probably due to being on prescribed meds now). I said goodbye to occassional use of meth because i just couldn't stand dealers being so shady and got ripped off a few times, and once stranded at the store with the tweaker who stole my phone and asked to go inside to get him needles. After that point my parents became a bit more suspicious of something is odd, and I had my mild adhd addressed and got adderall prescribed not too long ago. Luckily i get an amazing high off them at around 40-60mg and then with a break like 3 days. Even the first 5 days when taking them "as prescribed 20mg instant release twice a day, that i requested") i noticed the positive effects were going away, the mood lift, motivation, concentration, and euphoria. Plus the comedown after 3-4 hour high was just and still is unbearable even after a safely prescribed dose of benzos etc. So now the trick i realized is to take breaks in between to maintain the positive effects of the drug, while also escaping an addiction.
Now if you had the interest or patience to even read half of what i wrote, although i just got a new job after a long time, am waiting to get accepted in nursing school (only 21) and stay out of trouble and not look for drugs anymore because of the trouble it brings, I do often wonder what is more damaging recreationally using amphetamines (meth, adderall, the other ones i haven't used (vyvanse, concerta, ritalin, dexedrine), OR hmm recreationally high doses of codeine, morphine, oxy 30's, heroin etc. In my experiences some that i did not mention obviously as you can see how much i've typed already, i realize that i never have any negative side effects with occassional use of opiates, but even with occassional use of amphetamines theirs always some sort of comedown, and scientifically i do know that it does severely deplete dopamine. People always like to say opiates (in terms of addiction) are more physical, and amphetamines are more (mental). I wouldn't know about addiction because i haven't experienced one with either and never want to, but i personally have seen people addicted/recreationally using AMPHETAMINES with a hell a lot more problems then people even addicted to OPIATES/recreationally using. I've noticed frequent amphetamine users have much more anger issues, anxiety, paranoia, worse physical appearance than those who are even addicted to opiates. Sometimes i can barely stand the comedown from amphetamines (meth or now adderall) with rare use and the extreme depression, etc etc that come along with it. I couldn't/can't even take my adderall as prescribed even if i did have super bad adhd because i just couldn't imagine how angry and depressed i could become with a short period of time. On the other hand i haven't experienced any problems with dosing opiates even upto 3-4 times in a week.
My point and what I would like to understand from people with personal experience or even just opinions, what do you think is more damaging the recreational use of amphetamines or opiates? I doubt anyone will respond to this thread because i made it a tad (lmao a tad) ok a hell of a long post but could of written pages more. Excited to here some responses, opinions, experiences hopefully from others.
As much time has passed by and my recreational drug use has slowed down a lot due to moving situations, and focusing more on school and staying out of trouble. I have learned to like opiates probably after the first time and the only time i got to try heroin smoked black tar, because i didn't feel like throwing up or very itchy/irritable. And when i smoked weed with it, that's what made me realize that just because i didn't feel amazing off of oxycodone 20's that not all opiates are bad. I smoked the 15 dollars worth of black tar of unknown quality since i have like zero experience with heroin, and i got like 3 solid hits that tasted real bitter. I felt the pain relief and more upbeat than oxys but quickly smoked weed, and started feeling BUTTERFLIES ALL OVER MY STOMACH, (a sensation i never felt before) it's like when you have a huge crush on someone or are in love with someone but the feeling goes away fast but it stayed for a few hours and was tingling all over me unlike oxys that i knew so many people were in love with. However that was awhile back, and after experimenting with codeine t4's after a minor surgery (i told them i didn't want the oxycodone) I for some reason really liked the feeling of taking like 180mg codeine with no tolerance and sometimes a bit more, although it was sedating it was pretty euphoric and did NOT have no comedowns or after effects like amphetamines did. Same thing with the few times i tried morphine (besides heroin, my favorite opiate followed by codeine, than oxys, least hydros). Although i didn't love the experience that much then, i look back at it now and realized it was great to feel even more pain free than usual and warm. Then after trying oxy's again at a lower dosage i seemed to like them too, but didn't LOVE it. Hydro's i found frequently unused on vacations at various relative's house's. I realized i had to take quiet a bit of them and all that tylenol to feel somewhat good but not mindblowing.
Now anyways that was a little history of a little experience with each type of drug for background info before i get to the main point of this thread. Since over a year now, i've had much less opportunities to try drugs/pills since i moved to a very lame city, and other factors. But as always it seems to be meth that finds itself to me the easiest (especially in the gay community, since i am gay). I would try to look for pills like oxy's or even better in my opinion codeine/morphine/heroin but never found anyone with that but like once. But meth was what i ran into and i wasn't looking for it because of the nasty comedowns and the shitty feeling i would get from even snorting like 2 lines. I remember having no comedowns or negative after effects from recreationally doing opiates if anything i felt better the next day and refreshed, if worst came to worse i would just get real itchy or nauseous during the high but that was only for a few hours. After giving in and playing around with meth here and there and smoking it for the first time with a pipe i realized that i mastered the technique quick and would sometimes binge for a few days every month like 5 or 6 times. This particular batch that i would got like 3 of the times was far better than the meth that i would love and hate in my previous city. I would take 5-6 (giant not medium) hits and i would against the rule of blowing it out right away and instead hold them in for 15 seconds or so. I finally experienced a rush, where my face would get so tingly, head, and even my arms although it would wear off in an hour and was a gentler high. My comedowns from even using almost half a gram in two days weren't THAT bad compared to the comedowns i remember from doing like snorting two lines (20) in the past. I would just be real sleepy for a few days and slightly depressed but overall didn't feel as shitty as in the past (This is probably due to being on prescribed meds now). I said goodbye to occassional use of meth because i just couldn't stand dealers being so shady and got ripped off a few times, and once stranded at the store with the tweaker who stole my phone and asked to go inside to get him needles. After that point my parents became a bit more suspicious of something is odd, and I had my mild adhd addressed and got adderall prescribed not too long ago. Luckily i get an amazing high off them at around 40-60mg and then with a break like 3 days. Even the first 5 days when taking them "as prescribed 20mg instant release twice a day, that i requested") i noticed the positive effects were going away, the mood lift, motivation, concentration, and euphoria. Plus the comedown after 3-4 hour high was just and still is unbearable even after a safely prescribed dose of benzos etc. So now the trick i realized is to take breaks in between to maintain the positive effects of the drug, while also escaping an addiction.
Now if you had the interest or patience to even read half of what i wrote, although i just got a new job after a long time, am waiting to get accepted in nursing school (only 21) and stay out of trouble and not look for drugs anymore because of the trouble it brings, I do often wonder what is more damaging recreationally using amphetamines (meth, adderall, the other ones i haven't used (vyvanse, concerta, ritalin, dexedrine), OR hmm recreationally high doses of codeine, morphine, oxy 30's, heroin etc. In my experiences some that i did not mention obviously as you can see how much i've typed already, i realize that i never have any negative side effects with occassional use of opiates, but even with occassional use of amphetamines theirs always some sort of comedown, and scientifically i do know that it does severely deplete dopamine. People always like to say opiates (in terms of addiction) are more physical, and amphetamines are more (mental). I wouldn't know about addiction because i haven't experienced one with either and never want to, but i personally have seen people addicted/recreationally using AMPHETAMINES with a hell a lot more problems then people even addicted to OPIATES/recreationally using. I've noticed frequent amphetamine users have much more anger issues, anxiety, paranoia, worse physical appearance than those who are even addicted to opiates. Sometimes i can barely stand the comedown from amphetamines (meth or now adderall) with rare use and the extreme depression, etc etc that come along with it. I couldn't/can't even take my adderall as prescribed even if i did have super bad adhd because i just couldn't imagine how angry and depressed i could become with a short period of time. On the other hand i haven't experienced any problems with dosing opiates even upto 3-4 times in a week.
My point and what I would like to understand from people with personal experience or even just opinions, what do you think is more damaging the recreational use of amphetamines or opiates? I doubt anyone will respond to this thread because i made it a tad (lmao a tad) ok a hell of a long post but could of written pages more. Excited to here some responses, opinions, experiences hopefully from others.

