Heroin helps in the beginning but childhood trauma I have all the love in the world I married my high school sweetheart I cheated on her so many times but she the only woman I have loved I was lucky a buisness took of I retired now every morning I wake up at 4 because im in wds anxietyI really hope you will be able to hold your grandchild one day... The futility of it all, wanting shit that's doing us no good at a cost you can't justify... Those moments make me feel like the worst fool on earth... I have kids as well... And no savings at all. My mom saved for them in my place. But that shall change...
4 kids only my youngest have I actually been hands on . Yesterday was my birthday jenny was just looking at me she knows I feel so alone why can't I be normal . My brotherd are dying alcohol meth middle brother suicide attempt cousin died of hanging himself 34 year old cousin who I started buisness with died alcohol liver failure uncle same old man same my grandads 2 brothers in punjab opium addicts but I broke the cycle of beating broken ribs nose us three had to watch him treat our sister like a queen ge nearly killed my brother in punjab beat him to a pulp men of the village brreaking down door we never laid hand on our kids my boy was arrested under the influence of meth and posseion the one thing I feared my kids having to go through addiction I told him every day I love him boxing mma just so he would not turn to drugs . Why can't I stop