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What drives us to do it?

i needed to stop the anxiety. my intent never was about getting high, honestly.
i needed a way for my belly to not hurt for awhile.
i kept on because life has pretty consistently remained a bitch.
so - between that and the unfading gifts anxiety brings,
if there was never a break from it, it's just wouldn't be worth it.
i mean, getting high's fun..there's definitely always been curiosity about different drugs
and different highs..but it's sure as hell not what perpetually drives me and never has been.

i think the first actual quote was r.d. laing from the early 70's saying
'insanity may be a perfectly rational adjustment to living an insane world.'
(it's been said a few different ways..)
but, then that: 'drugs are a rational response to insanity..'
is just a quote from an oliver stone movie...savages, i think. ;)
 
I do it because I find reality flat and sterile; I find it intolerable and physically uncomfortable, without something, anything, to make this cardboard cut-out of a life more interesting, to make it seem worth participating in. I just happened to discover it was only drugs that could do that for me. For others it's different; it could be money, their career, their families- for me, only drugs did it. Also, and in all honesty, I've come to despise myself; my personality, my thought processes, attitudes, insecurities, etc. I know I can take a pill or snort a line of powder, and I'm the person I want to be: happy, confident, secure; it sometimes feels like that's the real me -I just need the drug to release it. I actually came to believe drugs would make me a better person - better living through pharmacology. And let's get real honest here: drugs feel fucking good - when you've felt the rush of IV heroin for the first time, or the invincible euphoria of coke, or the serenity of a good benzo...for some, myself included it becomes a substitute for a real life; it becomes a life in itself. And that's when the problem of addiction becomes apparent.

if it weren't for discovering drugs in the first place, I never would have become the neurotic, unhappy me, the version of me that can't stand to look at myself in the mirror; as I was using drugs every day, it's like the me I was supposed to be withered and died. Without the drugs, I know I'd be that confident, outgoing person - the one I used to be.

A maudlin and long-winded post, so my apologies; it's just I feel the drugs were an illusion that suckered me into choosing the exact opposite path in life I should have taken. I've come to learn a personal truth about drugs: what the drug gives to you, that's exactly what the drug will take away. Of course, I can't blame the drugs themselves; I chose them.

Unless you're one of the lucky ones. You're the ones who can get coked out at the weekends, and not touch anything for the rest of the week. Plenty of you out there, and I envy you all. The recreational user: it's something I aspire to be, to use a drug "successfully", but it's not something I'll ever be able to do, if I'm honest with myself.
 
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Just found this online randomly. It hits the nail on the head for the reason I use...

399186.jpg
 
I feel very similar to others on here, i thought i and a couple close friends like my brother and sis were some of the only 1s who felt that way its nice to know we're not the only 1s who feels that way because some of us worry about it sometimes.

life is so damn boring for me and if i dont get a release everyone once and a while i feel like im going crazy. Drugs also make me feel more like my self and they make me feel alive and happy with life and myself instead of being manically depressed and wanting to blow my head off everyday as soon as my eyes open every time i awake which is awful wouldnt wish it upon my worst enemy.

I also love drugs all classes all psychs/cannabis/opis/benzos/stims and learning about them, it 1 of my favorite hobbies. Also if i am in pain or have a severe migraines(which i do often) i know opiates/cannabis will cure that and i will use them, if im feeling down or depressed i know benzos/cannabis will cure that in a heart beat i will use them. Or if i need to use a opiate/benzo as a come down tool i will do it. Drugs are excellent excellent tools if used safely imo/e and we should utilize them.
 
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FadedTryptamine said:
... instead of being manically depressed and wanting to blow my head off everyday as soon as my eyes open every time i awake...
Click to expand...
+1..

they've saved my life more than uh twice..
i've also overdosed before, but eh..
so far..i'd say the positive still outweighs the negative..
at least if it's a positive thing i'm still around-
opinions differ on that subject matter..;)
 
ages 17-20: out of a supreme curiosity and for the boundless fun of it.

ages 21-22: escapist desires mainly. bad times heh

ages 23-25: a combination of fun and the need to be eliminate my anxiety or at least reduce it to sustainable levels. self medication is a popular term...
 
Nice pics and everyone's said it well but the bottom-line answer is ADDICTION. Plain and simple. All the other stuff is just noise and complications. And for the record, becoming addicted can be quite insidious. It'll bite you in the ass before you realize it's even close enough to touch you!

Also, I totally "get" the things inside of me that need to be killed bit!
 
Another reason being; rectal amphetamine is one of the best sexual enhancers I've ever seen. Do you know what it's like to jack off for hours, near ejaculation the entire time, and then finally after three hours straight, you come?

It's one of the best feelings in the world. It literally feels "too good". Like, so good that I almost feel like no one should feel that good...
 
Whosajiggawaaa said:
PAIN PAIN PAIN. And sometimes boredom but mainly pain both physical and emotional.
Click to expand...

You got that right! The thing I hate the worst is that when I'm not on my pain meds, I get all emotional (and I hate it!!). The other problem is that when I lay down to sleep and if I'm not ready to flat out drop, my brain will NOT turn off! It suck!
 
The monster inside me.... Munch munch munch... Hahahahha this thread sounds like hell were all dying by are own hands what a sad place
 
Well, after reading all of these replies over and over there can only be one answer. Like it or not the answer is ADDICTION! Everything else that was posted still adds up to addiction. One thing I got out of this thread not realizing it when I posted it was the fact that of all the reasons between us all might be different, we as a people are exactly the same! Hell, i honestly thought i was better than some of you and worse than others! Ha. This thread put me in my place.....right next to you, all of you! Now then after hearing all these replies, coming up with (my conclusion or opinion only) WE ARE ADDICTED. Thats the reason we do it. PERIOD! What are we going to do about it.........That is for several other threads to answer!
 
It starts out innocently enough - wanting to get high and experiment. But soon one realizes drugs are great for dealing with your problems, and especially if one has a lot of mental/emotional issues to begin with, the lure of drugs becomes especially strong. You get to not only escape all your problems, but feel on top of the world as well - all you have to do is swallow a pill, snort that powder, or or inhale some smoke. Naturally, this leads you to evade ever having to deal with your problems head on, so when you do stop using, your problems are that much more intimidating and inescapable. This breeds a heightened sense insecurity, self-loathing, and hopelessness that can, seemingly, only be cured by more usage.

The cycle of destruction begins. The highs aren't really there anymore. Your only goal is to get those demons in your head (or in your outside world) to go away. Sometimes you experience a moment of realization that you can't go on like this - but it's too late. The brain's circuitry has been hijacked. All the problems you had when you started using regularly are now on steroids, and your addicted brain is in no position to fight.

Sure, the rational course of action is to sober up. To put up a fight - it will surely get better with time, and you will have learned a hell of a lot. Unfortunately, our brains' emotional limbic system cries out a hell of a lot more than our planning, rational frontal cortex, and so we succumb to addiction.
 
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