What do you hate the most about depression?

[Jekyll and Hyde]

I hate crying, being self destructive, hating people for no reason, hating myself for no reason, hating the things I do, just in general looking down on myself. I've cried for the first time in awhile today at least 3 or 4 times. The pain.

I hate the crying, especially when it seems to come for no reason at all. Sometimes the smallest thing that reminds me of things (even things that should make me happy) make me cry. Its humiliating to me, because grown men aren't supposed to cry.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I would say the thing I hated the most when I used to have depression was that I never knew why I was depressed. I had nothing to be depressed about!

Yep, me too man. If I'm depressed it's 99% of the time for no reason, and I'll tell my boyfriend that I'm feeling depressed and he'll always say "What about?" or "Why?"
Fucked if I know why! Otherwise I wouldn't be in this mess! :D

 

[Jackal]

I would say the thing I hated the most when I used to have depression was that I never knew why I was depressed. I had nothing to be depressed about! I hated the hopeless feeling that I felt, that I couldn't figure it out, and was a prisoner to this disease.

I feel you. I'm there occasionally.

 

[spork]

My lack of motivation and the need I feel to isolate myself cause me to lock myself in my apartment for days.

 

[DarkSkys]

Getting up in the morning only to be counting down the hours until you can go back to sleep.

 

[User Name Here]

1.) Never wanting to get out of bed. It took an act of god to get me out of bed when I was depressed. I wanted to stay asleep forever.
2.) Withdrawing from friends and family. I didn't care to talk to anyone and became extremely reclusive. I even put blankets up over my windows to keep the sun out and stayed in my room just about 24/7 so I could avoid everything and everyone. This is the nature of the beast as I am NOT a reclusive person; I am very outgoing and love to be around people when I am truly content.
3.) Losing touch with people I care about. I saw them slipping away but couldn't do anything about it because I was so apathetic.

 

[tamoz]

1.) never wanting to get out of bed. It took an act of god to get me out of bed when i was depressed. I wanted to stay asleep forever.
2.) withdrawing from friends and family. I didn't care to talk to anyone and became extremely reclusive. I even put blankets up over my windows to keep the sun out and stayed in my room just about 24/7 so i could avoid everything and everyone. This is the nature of the beast as i am not a reclusive person; i am very outgoing and love to be around people when i am truly content.
3.) losing touch with people i care about. I saw them slipping away but couldn't do anything about it because i was so apathetic.

totally:d

 

[embolism.]

The desire to be reclusive which is met by the realization that nobody wanted to talk to you or be with you anyway.

 

[I NUK3D U]

The fact that everyone I love accepts it, but cannot understand it. Just trying to articulate to a non-sufferer is one of the most, well, depressing (!) things to try.

 

[kbrad]

Insomnia, self loathing, lack of motivation, self destruction, poor reasoning/ability to prioritize

 

[Jekyll and Hyde]

Yep, me too man. If I'm depressed it's 99% of the time for no reason, and I'll tell my boyfriend that I'm feeling depressed and he'll always say "What about?" or "Why?"
Fucked if I know why! Otherwise I wouldn't be in this mess! :D

It can be frustrating to people that don't understand, ie my family. They tell me to just snap out of it, and they don't realize that I would if I could.

 

[silentangst]

I find it much easier to just hide it from everybody and if it comes up just say "I'm tired" or something similar. It'd be nice if I didn't have to though.

 

[Jekyll and Hyde]

I find it much easier to just hide it from everybody and if it comes up just say "I'm tired" or something similar. It'd be nice if I didn't have to though.

I turn a lot of my emotions inward instead of letting them out. The bad part about that is the two suicide attempts. I have to work on coping and letting my emotions out in a more constructive manner.

 

[cilosyb]

How long it overstays its welcome.

 

[belfort]

feeling soulless, like a zombie..you dont feel anything good or bad, you are just numb to the world..nothing excites you, simply going thru the motions..when around people you have to put on a mask to make it seem like you are somewhat normal..

 

[semigenius]

For me it would be:

1) It makes me slip into a self destructive state

2) Makes me lose focus of what I am able to achieve

3) Makes me not care about what I am capable of doing or achieving

4) Although wanting to have things etc the comprehension is not there to go off and achieve it even though I am possibly capable of it.

5) Makes me lie to family and myself

2 and 3. I've always wanted to become a surgeon. I've always kept that goal in mind. When I plan my classes for the next semester, when I have a test coming up, I always think, 'what does it take to become a surgeon?' When I'm depressed, it means shit. And I hate that, because I don't want to end up like the rest of my family. I want to grow up, help people and be rich. Depression just makes those goals so meaningless.

 

[powdakilla]

I 'hate' that all the things I've accomplished over the years are meaningless when I'm depressed.
I used to be in great shape (and had some muscles and stuff) not anymore.
I was making strides with social anxiety, especially with women, now it's starting all over again from the ground floor.
All the friendships I've worked to build, have gone out the window, and then I realize I obviously never had any real friends who would stick by me anyway.
I went to school to be a paramedic, now the deadline for when I have to start working is two weeks away, and there's no way I'm able to go do it when all I want is to die.
So, I 'hate' that it makes everything I've done and accomplished feel like a total waste of time. I'm putting hate in quotations, because I spent the last five years trying to get away from the hate in my life, self hate which led to hate for others, But when depressed all the hate for the 'normal happy people' inevitably comes back out and makes the depression even worse.