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What do you guys think of this situation? (involves gays and MDMA)

B1tO'RoughJack said:
^ I can understand that...apart from going to gay bars, or constantly reading body language all the time, it is hard to find a decent looking nice guy that I would consider starting to chat up.
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its really annoying which is why i had such a thing for falling for my straight/bi friends. everyone wants the unattainable- its standard
 
UPDATE: Have had to leave that part of the country so probably won't see him again. Texted him ''I really really liked you by the way you are 100% who I would go for hahaha think it's pretty obvious that I do though. But yeah I have to run away sucks and shame your not gayer. Hope you find a cool new laptop (was gonna sell him mine).'


He replied simply ''OK cool. Well best of luck with everything!''


This was couple of days ago so I texted him today ''Wooo I escaped my debtors! In a couple of months I'll come visit you and sell you the laptop if you still want it''.


Guess that's it for a while then, unless he decides to take up my offer of having me visit him. He did say I was the kind of guy he would go for to if only he was comfortable with it so who knows. :)
 
ahhh tis you - I remember now.

yeah that sounds a good way to leave it with your text. If I was you, I wouldn't text him again after this one, unless you texts something which opens up.

He didn't leave it open ended on the reply...and if you really like him, wait for a further indication he likes you more - he may just be too screwed up for anything real, right now.
 
It's good that you moved away, it'll help you forget about him. I don't think you should have texted offering to come visit but thats already done. Don't really see any hope for this. I suppose I'm being cynical here but I can't see him ever becoming comfortable with this other side of himself, aside from those times he's indulging in something that will reduce his inhibitions for the time.
 
I probably shouldn't have texted him but am like this - very impulsive! Hmmm well he did text a reply after I proclaimed my liking him for so at least he doesn't seem scared off by it! And also suggested that he'd still be willing to meet to get the laptop if I wanted to. But yeah I don't see much hope for it either but would love to be the guy's friend if anything else - we shared alot of personal information during the time together and there was a real connection there, even if not one destined to blossom into anything more than that. Lets see how it goes will know for sure in a couple of months time. Thanks for input everyone. :)
 
Being me, and being what I'm like, I've actually be relentlessly texting this and calling this guy when drunk and he never responds or picks up.

BUT THEN this morning I woke up to a voicemail from him! Wish I didn't miss the call arghhh.

Hehe. Still don't think anything will happen but it's nice we're friends.
 
I actually have had sex with a "Straight" guy while he was drunk and high on MDMA,and I find sex with a straight guy to be really really hot...

But I dont even try to start a real romantic relationship with them...strictly booty calls (in the past, I got a wonderful man now)
 
B1tO'RoughJack said:
you fool. Lucky he gets it.
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What do you mean, lucky he gets it as opposed to be scared off and just ignoring me?

With this guy I think he actually likes it if you're really upfront and forward he's that kinda guy. In the voicemail he apologised for missing calls, said he'd been really busy, and to give him a callback and he'd pick up just to warn with a text first. That said I called him back twice after a text like he suggested and still no response. I think it might be because he is an alcoholic though he only really talks to other people when he is drunk and has panic attacks when he leaves the house. Am definitely leaving it for now and waiting for him to get in touch with me. :)
 
pofacedhoe said:
men who are not fully gay are what i call time wasters.

they will experiment with you, then get annoyed/ditch you for a woman

but what they have never done in my experience is provide anything more than short term sex based fun.

i avoided two relationships with attractive men who both had a thing for me (excessively touching me, boners when play fighting, longing looks, etc.) now they both have kids. and that desire to procreate and the need to have a "normal" family will overtake their need to be with a man in a relationship because if you have two options and one causes you less grief from society and you can have a baby too what are you gonna pick. ah the luxury of having that choice.

time wasters
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I think this is rather unfair.. Some people really are bisexual and middle of the road... They really enjoy having one of each sex and if they can find a relationship with he right people.. be that a triangle or a V where everyone is happy. Whats wrong with that?

Time Wasters?? Really?? I mean its one thing if YOU want a mono relationship and are not open to the world of possibilities but to label someone a TIME WASTER just because its not your cup of tea is no different that some of the crap that the bigots toss out there about the LGBTQ community as a whole .....

IF you really like someone one and they like you you can find a way for things to work out..


OP....It sounds like he is scared of his peer group.. He opened up too you in more then one way.. and the Dinner thing.. From my point of view.. and a guess.. Its not something he would have thought him self to do and the fact that he felt so "at home" with you and did it with out thinking sort of set him off kilter a bit.. Cooking for someone is a very caring thing to do.. even more so when its just the two of you alone for a few days with some intestacy involved.

The MDMA played a factor here it does strip away from of the veneer that we as humans hide behind.. It allowed him to made a connection there that he was fighting and allowed him self to let go..

I would guess he's scared.. It does not surprise me one bit about the kissing part.. Guys especially seem to have issues there when coming to terms with being gay or bisexual.. My other half (32 year old Bisexual male) Has had relations with male partners (in his own peer group) since about the age of 13 He had not actually French kissed a guy, more then a peck till he was 29 years old.. The guy we are currently dating together also had about the same back ground, while he is younger 25, my other half is the first guy that he has really kissed much less really made out with.. (Its really freaking hot I might add :) )

If you really like this guy.. and your willing to take time, put in effort and work with him and a relationship how ever it might come in what ever shape it does....Go for it.. just keep an open mind and heart. Remember that everyone comes to terms with things in their own time and in their own way... Just understand what you are getting into..
 
Thanks for the replies everyone. :)

In 2011 I was really promiscuous for about a year and then something really bad happened (someone massively hurt me, made me think I was crazy was horrible) so stopped doing it. But this is the first guy I've fooled around with out of 11 who I would actually want to go out with. It might be the age thing I would want him to look after me, is that weird? Hahaha. He is so lovely though like a rough diamond.

We've spoken on the phone twice since I made this topic. He said that ''you seem abit needy' (one of you guys warned me about this haha) and ''I think you need to stop pretending to be sweet - you are a man'' but we spoke for an hour and a half so he must like me abit. And then the 2nd time I called him we spoke for 45 minutes and he said ''I don't want you thinking we're like Bessie mates or anything just because I liked some of your facebook posts'' but then later he started talking to me quite sexually. Really strange guy! Haha all sorts in the world I guess though. I've never had a boyfriend or proper relationship so all this is new to me.

Can't wait to see him again but won't be for a while.
 
AbsintheKittie said:
I think this is rather unfair.. Some people really are bisexual and middle of the road... They really enjoy having one of each sex and if they can find a relationship with he right people.. be that a triangle or a V where everyone is happy. Whats wrong with that?

Time Wasters?? Really?? I mean its one thing if YOU want a mono relationship and are not open to the world of possibilities but to label someone a TIME WASTER just because its not your cup of tea is no different that some of the crap that the bigots toss out there about the LGBTQ community as a whole .....
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i'm not being harsh without having had many straight/bi men on the go in the past. but my logic was that when the desire for a baby kicks in its easier to marry a woman than to go after surrogates and ivf with a man which is expensive and socially more difficult and stigmatised. if they are truly bi and also broody just think about it...

people usually take the easy option. plus i've been used for experimental purposes before multiple times when younger and its not nice (i guess just like being used in general)
 
Thanks very much for all the replies everyone. I find them really useful and helpful to hear from others who have experienced the same thing. I've only been with about 8 guys most of those were one night affairs he is the first one I've really liked and would want to see more off.

He is so strange though - he rang me more or less out of the blue last night and was saying ''Anytime you wanna come and see me you're more than welcome to come and stay again!'' and quite flirtly ''Yeah you were an ok guest but there's some things in your character we need to sort out!'' ''yeah you're one of those nice gays' ''you know I treat you so well'' and then as he was hanging up he said ''ok lot's of love take care!'' This is strange because 2 weeks ago he said ''I don't want you thinking we're like best friends or anything cos I liked your facebook posts...'

He so strange! I'm definitely going to take up his offer and go see him though if anything just to see what happens. I could fall in love with him. :)

If this is getting boring now will stop updating hahah. :)
 
Don't think that "fall in love"ness - you hardly know him - that kinda thinking is indicative of you possibly having emotional issues you need to sort out. Breathe :)

it's not boring - it's necessary for BL to get insights on peoples interpersonal relationships.

Yo it sounds like he wants to take you under his wing a little, I wouldn't go in actively hoping(hope is when only external factors can change your situation), or expecting or anticipating something romantic will take place.

Go round there (for sure), have fun (you'd be silly not to), and as Jim Morrison sang "take it easy baby, take it as it comes, don't move too fast if you want our love to last".
 
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