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what do i do? dont want her to be the one that got away

Long distance is tough. But it is not impossible.

So many people walk in & out of our lives, and so few make an impact. The one's worth the most usually are the hardest to obtain. Go for it. If you don't, you will forever regret it. Yeah, maybe things may not work out. But maybe they will. It doesn't matter. Follow your heart. You'll never regret it, no matter what.

I'm pre much throwing all caution to the wind and moving to the USA to be with a man. It's not a scary thought, because I know in my heart it's right.

Good luck dude. If you need any LDR tips don't hesitate haha
 
Move to Italy to be with her, but dear God don't live with her. You may want her right now, but that's because she's gone and you can't have her. Wait until you're around her constantly for months and months - everything that is now perfect and special and cute to you will become dull and mundane.

So, I say chase her. She wants you to chase her. You want to be there with her. You're a perfect match! Just don't live together!

What do they say? If there's one thing I've learned in my almost-thirty years of life, it's that regrets are awful and pathetic. It's far better to do something and suffer the consequences than to avoid taking risks because you love your safe, boring life. Good luck!
 
So as well as seeing her in august, im gona see her again in the next couple of weeks in italy or a long weekend somewhere together.
And shes back where i live in july, and we're going on holiday then back to italy in august.
Plenty of time to sort this problem out, and hopefully make her mine :D
I'm gona tell her exactly how i feel and what i want, really hope she wants the same.

Raspberry jam, as appealing as living with her sounds, we've only known each other a few months, so dont think that'd be a good way to start a relationship with her. Maybe for a month or two to start till i get myself and a place/job sorted.
Although we havent really properly discussed me moving there(which is why im worried) - we have talked about n brainstormed ideas for opening a bar in the area she lived.
But the other day, i was starting to pack up my room cuz im moving outa my current place in a few weeks, and she said "your packing? when you come here n see me you can bring some stuff and leave it at mine if u want, even though your parents are nearby your more than welcome"
That sounds like a hint to me that she wants me there with her. Arrrgh i just want this over and done with now.
 
anyone?
also before i drop the question do i ask if shes seeing anyone else you reacon?
 
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So i sent her a package with some artwork that was going to be put into storage otherwise last week, as a little present for her.
Shes got it today and posted pics of what i sent her on her fbook wall saying "massive thank you to my amazin friend NAME HERE bla bla bla"
then she wrote on my wall which she doesnt usually really do saying "thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou YOUR THE BESSST. NAME HERE your the dopest"
Now, am i looking into this too much? Should i be happy she put up pics and wrote a small status bout me?
I sent her a short letter with the presents and didnt get emotional or mention feelings in it at all, just ended it with
"I really miss you, hopefully see you sooner rather than later xxx"
Now i dont know why this got to me but i didnt like being called "her amazing friend", well i do know why, its cuz i wana be loads more than that, and if we werent in different countries we would. I think i would have rather been called by just my name. I guess its being put into that friend category i dont like at all.
And i didnt even get a "i miss you too" or a proper message, and she was online for ages too - actually she is right now.
Am i being an obsessed fool and reading too much into this?
Also havent heard from her all week apart from that, and i dunno whats happening with meeting her in the next couple of weeks. I was gonna ask, but i am thinkin im gona wait till i get a message from her see how long it takes to get in touch.
Eugh i hate feeling like this over women.
Need to see her asap, access the situation an either tell her i like her enough to move to be with her, or just move the fuck on. Being in limbo right now is grim.
 
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Mate get this sorted before she meets somebody else.
Seriously grow a set now and tell her how you feel.
If you don't I'll use my modpower to hack you and do it myself... (Don't take that seriously we can't do that lol...)

But in all seriousness please grow a set and ask her to be yours, if she gets another man I blame you for taking this so slowly. I am enjoying this love story I want you to put the seal on it and do yourself and all the others watching here a favour.

We want to see how this ends. Do it. Do it now.
 
You think i should do it over the net and not in person?
Really dunno about that....
cuz im not sure when im gona see her next, maybe in the next couple weeks, if not, not til july. and yeh, thats my fear that she got away by the time ive told her
 
At my witts end here. Nothing shes even done. Pretty much no contact in the past week, no word of the holiday we talked about last time we skype'd.
Last week i had the prospect of seeing her 3 times within the next couple months n then dropping the question to her n making her mine if all went well during the summer. Chances are looking slimmer and slimmer.
Although when we skype its like nothing has changed. Maybe its me stressing out. Maybe she's moved on - we did leave it as we cant be more than friends cuz we're in different countries.
Its been 3 months and 1 day since i seen her last. Man i feel like an idiot. Really dont even know whether to keep persuing or just forget about her. Dont want too, but i hate feeling like this thinking about her all the time not knowing whats going to happen.
Dont even know why im posting this here, i know what i need to do, and had all the replies/options possible, i just need to vent. Sometimes i can handle this situation ok, other times like right now i really cant.
 
So, i have an update for you lot.
I thought everything was going well. We've been talking daily n skyping loads recently too.
Shes been opening up to me about stuff recenelty n telling me her feelings for me again. Shes now told me she wishes i was there with her and if she had the choice id stay there with her forever. I havent really expressed how keen i am on this idea, i wanted to wait to see her in person.
Shes home next week for two weeks, we've got a few things planned to do together.
Then im going to stay with her for a month or so in august.
So I was really happy, and sooo excited to see her - she said she couldnt fucking wait to see me.
Then today, i wake up and see her facebook status about her making a joke about a first date she went on last night.
This has really upset me. I am feeling disgusting after glastonbury, so it isnt helping, but regardless of that this is all im gona be able to think of now til i see her. And really i know we're obviously not together, so i probably cant really even bring this up to her. We are in seperate countries afterall, i know that. I just don't need to see evidence of it. This has literally ruined my day before its begun. Just when i thought everything was going well...
And ive now got 6 or 7 days til i see her with this playing on my mind, ffs
 
Just tell her how you feel - why are you torturing yourself (and probably her) like this ?

X - I can't get you out of my mind, all I can think about is spending time together. I'm willing to take the plunge and move over so we can be close and work on our future together.

Do it online, over skype, by txt Just do it™

She can either say yes or no - either way you will know where you stand.
 
I know i need too.
Shes home next week, i was gona tell her then.
Tbh, i thought the fact she invited me over for a month was enough of a seal on it. But i guess i havent expressed how keen i am to move there yet.
Its the fact she put up a status about going on a first date, and obviously had fun on it, or she wouldnt have put up the status. Thats what upset me, especially as i thought we'd got closer recently. She is ALWAYS the one that gets emotional n tells me how she feels about me. ffs.
I know its none of my business atm who she sees, its jus not what i wana hear right now.
Anyway ill update you guys with what happens after ive seen her next week.
 
How many hints do you need, dude? Of course if she thinks that you are not romantically interested, because you are ignoring her quite blatant hints, she will start dating. Man this is painful to watch.
 
No doubt. This story has been going on some time now; you seemed 'over the moon' about this young lady and seem to still be so why on EArth are you playing hard to get?
Here's a hint O.P
How about YOU show some emotion to HER! Now that's a concept. A real hum dinger. Look man, it's not rocket science. If you act too aloof, she will get away.
Don't be afraid of romancing a girl of your affections because if you don't, after all this, she will (of course) look elsewhere.

IMO, you probably hurt her feelings. No girl wants to be the only one to show emo.

Take this girl out on a proper date, again and then again and again.
 
Im not playing hard to get.
Ive told her shes the most amazing person ive ever met, and that i'd do anything for her, and how much i care about her.
I just havent expressed much interest in moving there. i was going to talk to her about it next week when i see her.
So thats why im so confused, we have a month planned together in august.
Anyway guess i gotta tell her, i just wish i didnt have the thought of her dating someone else on my mind. It is all my own fault though, i know that.
 
Why not take her talking about dating as her putting her cards on the table - she is telling you that regardless how good you both are together that if your not going to be together she will move on.

Your already talking about moving there, she is already excited at this and has told you, you can leave stuff at her place, she wants you there. It's either you want to do this or you don't, if you do then the sooner you just make the next step the better. If your not sure how you feel then leave it another month and hope that she doesn't meet somebody who is ready to commit.
 
Youve hit the nail on the head there bear, thanks.
To be fair i have made no conscious effort to let her know how interested i am in moving there - i didnt wana come across as the mental weirdo that brought it up first. When infact she's the one that brought it up first. And this girl doesnt get hints like a normal person. I know she wants me there, this just really upset me earlier. Why she'd put this as a status knowing how much i care about her and how hanging im feeling after glastonbury isnt the one. Before i went to see her last time i met n fucked two different girls within the week before, but that made me realise how unique n amazing she is, and since then i havent taken an interest in anyone what so ever, even though shes miles away. So, yes id fuck another girl, but i wouldnt date one, or if i did, i wouldnt broadcast it over facebook, when we take quite deeply n emotionally on a regular basis to one another about anything and everything.
But ye i get it, get a grip n talk to her. Im just gona have this on my mind now till i see her.
Do i even mention this to her? ask her if shes been seeing anyone? or is that gona come across as jealous/needy? when infact technically it isnt any of my business cuz nothings been set in stone at all about us apart from pencilling in a month together.
 
Perhaps she put that status up to see how you'd react, if your truly serious about her or not. I don't know.
I hope you go there and feel things out because I' gather that if you do not, you'll always wonder what could have happened had you taken a leap of heart and really put yourself out there.
Instincts. They will tell you more.
 
I jus realised by the time i see her itll be almost 5months since i last seen her.
And the fact that when i last seen her, we both said sadly nothing could happen cuz of distance.
And the fact i havent showed any interest to her about moving there yet. I obviously cant complain. And shes her own women, so can do what she wants. I just really thought she would have thought about me before during or after writing that status, she knows how i feel about her.
The other thing that upsets me is that she must have had a good time on the date to write a status about it. Or it went that bad it was that funny. Regardless, im gona stop complaining now. Ill update you all with whats finally gona happen when i see her next week. Was so excited to see her before, and now not so much.... actually quite nervous, its been a while....
 
To be extremely honest, I registered on this site to write on this thread in hopes of learning the outcome. Did you guys live happily ever after or what?!
 
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