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What are you going to tell your kids about drugs?

I also agree with jpgardner's list.

Roger&Me, just be sure you teach your kids in such a way that they don't swing to the opposite pole with cops and teachers, taking out their adolescent angst indiscriminately on people JUST BECAUSE they're authority figures.

I only say this because my wife and my mother are both teachers -- good people with their students' best interests in mind -- and it breaks their hearts and slowly burns them out to teach smart young minds who are hostile or unreceptive to them no matter how they try, simply because the kids have got pent up hostility, and have picked up the notion it's OK to be hostile to any teacher, any time.

I'm no fan of blind obedience to authority. It chaps my ass when someone does or says something ONLY for the sake of demonstrating their position of power over me, especially after I've shown them I never need power waved in my face to scare me into wanting to be cooperative, if it's an endeavor I truly believe in. But I really try to be careful not to let that mistrust carry over into being difficult with these people preemptively.
 
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kzorro said:
And lastly if they ever feel like they are in over their head or addicted or what not, I'm gonna be there for em.
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Just after I posted that last night my dad had a long conversation with me about my usage and the way he handled it was the complete opposite of what I quoted above. Instead of telling me that he would try and get me the help i need, he would rather let me hit rock bottom and tell anyone who's supporting me financially to stop, which would leave me homeless and make me drop out of college (and I'm doing pretty damn well for being such a HUUUUUUUUUGE drug addict 8)). If I ended up on the street what else would I have to live for besides that high? his logic is fucked.
 
with the exception of the bolded part. I want social acceptance to be the last thing on my kid's agenda.
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Or that peer pressure is a very real problem? :)

I think it stems from the fact that once it becomes known you've used drugs, people treat you differently. Everything is explained away. Whether you like it or not.

And some people might not want the confusion of screaming inside "the drugs aren't the problem!" Or the very real possibility that you may have to hide who you really are from people you care about. A broader introduction to Addiction and being an "Addict." I'm not placing a moralistic view on it either way, but people will think less of you if you do drugs.

I agree that seeking social acceptance is bad in any case, but its more about the continual problem of dealing with this bias. It would be very difficult to explain to a 13 year old.
 
I will tell my children about what drugs do, and tell them that at the right age they are welcome to do them, as long as they do them FIRST under my roof, under my supervision so we can talk about their experiences and I can offer any guidance/help thru them.

I will of course have books on my shelves they can peruse where they can learn the truth about drugs, and how far from what the government(s) the truth is from reality.

I'll also teach my kids about not using drugs as a "get-away" from problems, and that I am always there for them if they start to use anything habitually, coz then we can work out why it is that they're doing that in order to break the cycle.

I will be there for my children through their experiences like mine never were for me, show them that doing drugs for the right reason is the only justifiable excuse for doing drugs, and show them that just because their friends do drugs that they should never feel pressured to do drugs, and that if they ever are that I'll always be there for them to give them advice on this too.
 
My mother always told me that the only reason cannabis was illegal was because the government and big business couldn't make money off of it.

The truth really is what should be told. My mother was always open and honest about it all, and told me about LSD, cannabis, all of that at a very young age. As a result, i think the damage on my life by my drug use has been a lot less than what it could have been, and that if I had a different upbringing I may not have been so open-minded, or I may have developed more baggage around certain issues like my father's junk addiction.

She also gave me a very straightforward, graphic answer to "where do babies com from?"
 
I don't know what I'll say (well, I don't want kids, but hypothetically) but I know I'll say SOMETHING. My mother uses drugs, has never hidden that fact, but also never mentioned drugs to me, even once. Even when I was 14, super-rebellious, blacking out all over the house on various substances and stealing her cannabis daily, she never said ANYTHING. It got to the point where I was just trying to get her to react, it became a truly pathetic cry for attention. One time I stole her entire stash of marijuana. I didn't even smoke it, because I was expecting her to come screaming at me and demanding it back - I just put it in my desk draw and waited for her to say something, at which point I was planning to hand it back. She never said a word, which only pissed me off more. I ended up just putting it back a few days later, having decided it was a shitty experiment. We're not close anyway; we've never talked about boys or fashion or periods or whatever the hell mothers and daughters talk about.

So yeah, I think one of the most important things is that you just say *something*, whatever that may be. Keep the lines of communication open, so to speak (and so you can speak :D)
 
I've thought about this, and kinda bounced back and forth on the issue. I go between wanting to protect my (hypothetical) kids, which obviously doesn't work, to having a completely lax policy about it, which also might not be good.

I think the decision that seems most reasonable, to all parties, is to simply talk to my kids about the dangers of drugs, but say that there's also a reason that people use them. They make you feel good, help get work done, spiritual insight, help you relax, etc. Mostly importantly, I would either tell them, or have them do some research on drugs before they take them. Drug dealers and drug buddies have some wacky things they believe, and I would just want my kid to use safely and responsibly.

So, in return for being ok with knowing they use drugs, I would want them to talk to me about it semi-regularly, or at least let me know what's going on with them, their use, if they think they're getting in too deep, or if it's becoming too much of a regular thing.

I think that for best results, I might start to give them elementary talks about it when they're 8-10ish, and then more in-depth talks when they're 13, and more from there. It seems like it would be better to slowly expose them to it, and make them more comfortable with the topic before it becomes that taboo thing to talk about with your parents.
 
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