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what a goosd excuse for mnot searcinmg for any jobs until day 14 of your job search

Ceres said:
mdb there are plenty decent folk on here all willing to give people time if they are having a difficult time of things, but really, don't expect people kind enough to give you some time to be considerate towards you to have endless patience. It's not fair, and it's not doing you any good to slag people off and throw it all back in their face.
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i slag the peopleoff tyet deserve it. in the heat of some moment i may have misjugded that. For all those instances i apologise sincerelyu. when everything feelk like an attack i can help but go into fullon attack mode. im working on it. i dont exoect endless patience. im not a fool born yesterday.
 
if youve got problems and want to fix them, act on it instead of bitching on the internet, otherwise what do you expect.
 
MDB - You act like you're being picked on for no reason. As if people are just randomly flinging insults at you. If you actually take a breath for a minute and think about things you'll see that people are only responding to the shite you hit out with, they aren't just attacking you for nothing. You are acting the cunt. Big time.

mydrugbuddy said:
i slag the peopleoff tyet deserve it.
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Is it not OK for other people to do the same? The way you have been behaving recently you definitely do deserve it. You deserve the slagging I've gave you anyway. I haven't wished you dead or even really gave you that much abuse. I certainly haven't gave you as much abuse as I think you deserve. I wish you had real life people to act this way to, real life people who might just crack you in the jaw. That would maybe make you see some sense.

Ceres said:
if youve got problems and want to fix them, act on it instead of bitching on the internet, otherwise what do you expect.
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Exactly.
 
hey and while im at it mrdruggybuddy, don't send me insulting rage PM's at 2 in the morning then completely ignore my diplomatic friendly reply, then come back in here the next day acting all apologetic, my patience has run out with you, get your act together and stop whining.
 
he went on aboput poring petrol on the flame, maybe i did misinterprt that remark, i didnt know what he was getting at, whether he was tryiont to provoke me or what not, i didnt understand what the intentions of his post were. im still nor clear on that, but if you feel i was overly harsh, then ill unblock him, out of respect for you and your good judgement.

Like yoiu sure that make a huge diffeerence to him and hell be over the moon with delight that his posta can be read by me.
 
lurching said:
Please go get yourself some antipsychotics to stabilize & stop raging. Or, alternatively, check yourself in at a suitable hospital and let them administer it to you.
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things arent that bad., i had 1 major melt=down which i managed to find ways of dealing with pretty quickly. then another regretful one last night which i bitterly regret, but im only human, i can onklyy take people taking snippets of my life and then miscounstuing misundertsading everything about me from that. i think iot would make any one rage. anyway im not raging now, you have been fine with me lurch, but im not quite ready for the hospital yet thanks. I just have to continue with what i was doing last week, maintaining the block walls, and not letting things get to me.
 
'maintaing the block walls' yeah you go on doing that, here and with benzos for blocking out the reality you aren't facing up to.
 
I assumed the 'poring petrol on the flames' comment was referring to lurch's comment being counterproductive and only serving to exacerbate the situation. The situation being ongoing 'disagreements' between yourself and others, mdb.

I think you are unintentionally spurring a lot of people on, and making yourself a target. I think it's a relatively recent thing for me to start thinking:

'Oh there's another incoherent rant from mydrugbuddy... I won't bother reading all that.'

The reason you are feeling the need to keep ignoring person after person is because more people are thinking the same as me, and some will say so...in a far less diplomatic way than I did.

I'm speaking from experience because I took loads of MDPV in the past and made massively long, rambling, misspelled, nonsensical posts on here...thinking everyone was against me at the time, but in retrospect I was coming across like a twat... I just didn't see it at the time. I did once I had stopped taking the drugs though.

People have made helpful posts and given you good advice, to put it in perspective. I don't think everyone is out to get you... I think you are inviting a lot of negativity aimed towards yourself, by the way you are coming across and handling things at the moment.

No one has an innate desire to disagree with you, or to want to piss you off. I've got nothing against you, and all this is just my opinion... from a neutral perspective.
 
TD: I have had two major meltdowns thios week. No doubt they both spurred a lot of people on in their attacks on me. I know everone must take responsibilty for their own actions bit im sure in both situations i was provoled into those rages.

I aslo know the O level psychology of between stimuls and rsponse lies thought, or choice. I need to work on that one a lot more. I need to stop and think what the prebious poster ws really saying; i have often been defensively misintertpteting people and thus further alieanting even those who may have been trying to help me.

As it is, it has been a very up and down week for me. After Rage attack number one, i made every effort to try to prevent a reoccurence. I found a great deal more stregth and moral fibre inside me than i was aware that i had.

Very regretabbly it came udone again last night. Again someone makeing out of context judgements about my life from one sentence i have written here. Its totally absurd. To think you can know and judge a person from what they type on here. Regreatabbly yes i lost control again last night and undid a lot of my ptogress.. Im still learning ways of cpoing. Im not beating myeself up, im doing the best i can to maintain control and thats all i can do.

I think these rage attacks are obviosuly a side effect of 2 years of ridiculous over indulgence of benzos. Phenazepam was there waiting fro someone to light the ble torch paper. Here again i am making huge efforts to change. I am obviosuly bever touching phenaz again, and im not only reducing my etizolams very drastically but i have sustain these changes for ever. There is no 'jutst once,' for an addiction prone personality like mine. I am dowen from 40-50 etizolam pills to 15. I expect it may take some time for me to be completelky well, i dont expect any egg shell walking from anyone towards me, just as well, i know i wont get it lol. Ill be pushing as hard and fast as possible, until i start getting warning signals from my body of potrntial seizures or increasing anxiety. Eventually i will have to deal with anxiety without etizolam.

anyway i hope that partly explains the points yiou wre making. Which incidentally i totally agree with you.

It took me a while to learn the beast way of dealing wuth things, even that method has plenty of chinks in its armour, buts a solid platfrom for me to start rebuilding from.
 
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Out of interest how many people do you have on ignore?

Well done on the tapering, keep at it.

I think you should revisit this thread after you have get off the benzos as it will probably be a bit of an eye opener and will help you stay off of them...

Best of luck.
 
This is still going on... jesus fuck. you remind me of a stroppy little child
 
Of course it's "still going on", he's tapering down from 50 etizolam a day. It's going to take a while.

People who don't have any patience are probably better off not reading the thread rather than criticising MDB for posting in it.
 
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