Quote "the people telling you to smoke different weed, or not worry about this shit have no idea what they are talking about.
don't do any drugs at all, mental illness is no joke (someone who's experienced/ is experiencing it.)
you'll be in and out of mental hospitals for years (i've spent about 3 of the last 8 years institutionalized,) and not voluntarily, the cops will put you there, as long as you keep doing drugs and experiencing this shit."
-Just to clarify, I wasn't saying to smoke different weeds. I was saying that if the OP chooses to continue to use drugs, there are actually specific strains of weed that should not bring this reaction about, and that can actually have medicinal benefits.
Medications are drugs just like recreational drugs are drugs. You can be prescribed medications by doctors that can do tons of damage. Having a mental illness is no joke, but the fact that the OP recognizes this negative effect after smoking strong weed is a big indicator that the OP is not actually that unstable.
Some strong weed can make anyone have bad thoughts. But ALL strains are different, and not studied or understood by most people, and it is somewhat ignorant to suppose that the OP should never be able to experiment with drugs because she tweeked out on weed a couple of times.
I have an old Reeferman seeds catalog that describes certain Sativa strains they used to sell as paranoia inducing. Other strains are described as anxiety relieving. There are many strains of cannabis out there that cause many different effects in people.
It is not simply a matter of saying "weed makes me feel like this" or "weed makes me feel like that".
There are many factors, from when the individual plant is picked (the ratio of clear, cloudy, or amber trichomes), to how it is dried and cured, to how well it was flushed of the chemicals used to grow it, to how it was grown (under nice or harsher environments), and the genetic makeup of the plant itself, that will determine the effect of said plant on the user.
So to the OP, I would go without taking drugs for a little while to see if that is actually the problem. And then I would actually try to smoke a bowl of weed that is different from the last weed you smoked, in a comfortable and relaxing environment. If you still get terrible thoughts then, then you should probably just give up on weed.
It definitely wouldn't hurt though to talk to someone like a mental health counselor, but more because you say in your first post that you have never felt quite normal. Not because you had a couple bad experiences while on weed.