Wedding etiquette

[katmeow]

Shifting to second opinion

 

[chrissie]

Really??

Well it still doesnt change how I feel.............honestly I consider it offensive.

I always put a lot of thought into gifts and will continue to do so............. There is a lot of stuff about this new world that just sucks balls and thats one of them.

that doesn't mean you have to buy something off the list. for my friend's wedding i bought something off their list and something i wanted to give them.

the first wedding i was in, i was a poor college student. someone, i'm not sure if it was my parents or the bride, paid for my dress. the second wedding, we were able to pick out whatever dress we wanted so long as it was long and black. this was great because i've been able to wear it again.

btw, vera wang bridesmaid dresses are not as expensive as you might think, the white dresses are what cost thousands.

 

[doofqueen]

Faarrrk thats HEAPS!

The only time I would ever pay that much is if it were a designer dress that I could wear again.

And it sounds like you weren't aware of the costs until you'd accepted? That's not on either. If I ever got married I'd pay for everything myself. That said, I would never have a large wedding or bridal party. It's all well and good that its "their" wedding but if you're overburdening the people that are supposed to be enjoying it with you then thats more than a little selfish.

I was told before i accepted that it might cost me up to a grand to be part of it. She is my oldest friend (i've known her since my son was 8mths old) and even though we don't "hang out" anymore we were best friends for years and still see each other a few times a year and we havn't drifted about in knowing each other. I couldn't really say no. I accepted cos of that and also cos i had scholarship money coming in but if i didn't have that then i would have most likely had to say "sorry but i can't"

 

[doofqueen]

re gift registry - I always thought it was rather rude too Mazdan but it is a good idea i think as not a lot of people will turn up to a wedding empty handed and most people have no idea what to get the couple (especially if they have already been living with one another for sometime) so it's a good idea for the guests that are clueless. As has been said - it's not a *must* It's an option.

Wishing well's are good for those that can't be bothered shopping The one i attented asked for money to pay for their honeymoon as they had just bought a house and had everything.

yellow frog - She did pay for some of it but only because she didn't think the alterantions would be so much. $420 for the dress and $256 for alterations (i paid for all but $190 of which she paid)

 

[vibr8tor]

that doesn't mean you have to buy something off the list. for my friend's wedding i bought something off their list and something i wanted to give them.

exactly. I always give cash as a wedding present, but I use the registry for the wedding shower gift. It's helpful because if the couple has a specific set of towels or dishes in mind, they don't end up with random oddball ones that will probably end up in storage or re-gifted.

as far as the bridesmaid thing goes, I've always thought that in a "traditional" sense, the bridesmaids pay for their own dress. the bride gives a gift to them all, though, which might be matching jewelry or a spa trip for manicures and stuff. I would personally decline being part of a wedding that had an excessive pricetag, like some of the ones mentioned in this thread. None of my friends would ever ask that to begin with, though. The most I've ever ended up spending to be in a wedding was actually airfare, cuz my friend lived in another state (but she kept the dress fee minimal, like less than $80 if I remember correctly). My "wealthiest" friend had me in her party years ago, and the dresses were actually drawn up for her by a famous designer that her parents met, and then furnished by Saks. But even then, I think I only paid around $100, and her parents footed the rest, cuz they could afford it, and also because none of the wedding party would have been in it to begin with if they were expected to take out a loan to participate.

assuming you're only asking your closest of friends to be in your party, you should know what they can and can't afford, and how much of an imposition it will be to have them be a part of your special day. and I think it is in really poor taste to put someone in a financially stressful situation for something that all comes down to one day and a dress that will never be worn again.

 

[wizekrak]

Every wedding I've been to has had "presentation", basically cash or cheque in a sealed card. Here it's basically standard. But for the bridal shower people give what ever gift they like. It's a faux pas if your donation doesn't at least cover the cost of your dinner, but it's at your discretion, the lowest gift I've seen was $40. Of course the donation amounts are never made public. I've been a best man before and it's customary for the wedding party to foot the bill for their own duds. Gifts for the wedding party aren't too extravagant but usually come close to the cost of the tux rental.

 

[FoxyKel]

Every wedding I have been a bridesmaid in has had 'aussie' brides and grooms (as per your definition) and each time I was asked to pay for my own dress, hair and makeup. The last wedding, the dress (which the bride selected) was $800, the makeup was $55 and the hair was $90 - I also had to pay for shoes, which were $75.

The bride gave the bridesmaids a $800 necklace each as a gift, which we wore on the day, but personally I would have rathered she just pay for the costs of being in her wedding, as it was very expensive.

 

[doofqueen]

Well i know if i ever get married i will pay for most things myself. Bugger making everyone broke to be a part of MY wedding. I'm not that egotistical really *shrugs*

 

[Mazey]

our neice is getting married in April she just put a deposit on the cake it's costing $ 1600.00

 

[UnSquare]

^
Puff-Pastry?

LOL....
good luck finding
a wedding
these days

where the couple
doesn't
give any indication at all
as far
as gift suggestions.
It's practically a faux pas not to.
People are all lost at sea,
it's like sending an invite
without
---
dress code.

...an' it's fuck'd.

List Cash Items.
D'trike Them Off As People
buy dem.
REAL Jus' Comes Ta Mind.

It rings
so WRONG
in my ears.

An' I'll be 'oin' this buy
fo' a 'large'
weddin'
in the next
3 days....

PEACE
UnS

 

[Perpetual Indulgence]

I will be a bridesmaid for the first time this June. I am one of 6 maids. My brother in law's wedding. They have a budget of 30,000 and 200 guests. Unreal to me. My dress was $160 US. I was hoping she would keep it under $200. I paid for it as I expected. Luckily, the size fit me perfectly. I don't have to pay for alterations which can very pricey. I already own the undergarments that I need for the style of dress.

Shoes...we can wear what we want for the reception. The ceremony is barefoot for the girls only...yuck. I hope she changes her mind. It doesn't quite fit. Alas, it is not my vision.

Hair and make-up are my responsibility which is not a financial issue. I was planning to do both myself anyway. At least, I haven't heard orders to the contrary. I booked my french mani/pedi, which I will pay for, the day before we travel. The rehearsal dinner (Thurs) and the wedding (Friday night) are at the same rented estate. GACK! Do I need to have a fancy dress for the rehearsal dinner?

I am not spending anymore being in the party than I would have being a guest.

The bride is giving us necklaces to wear as a gift. PLUS the wedding party stays for FREE 2 nights at the estate.

My husband is one of the best men. I leapt at the chance to walk down the aisle with my man. She is sending us down in pairs.

My mother in law asked what the skin tone of the wedding was? WTF? I am going in the skin I am in.

 

[doofqueen]

Let me know what the hell that is supposed to mean when you find out LOL