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  • LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

Wedding etiquette

ayjay i alreday have an anti marriage thread if you would like to respond to that? hehehe yeah i'm just asking about bride ettiquette to her bridesmaids.

ok kat no worries. I'm keen to know what other countries think for sure but i was mainly just wondering about how it works in Australia being from a polish family (cos like i said it would just be wrong to ask any bridesmaids to pay for anything)

and yes i was "honoured" that i was asked to be part of my oldest friend wedding even though she knew how anti marriage i was (mainly just for myself though not for others - i've always been supportive to my friends who get married - it's a personal choice after all - was just always curious as to why people bothered in this day and age)

but anyway...

thanks for everyones replies... so it does seem like it's traditioanlly ok to ask for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses but maybe not make up and hair?

So is asking someone to pay $400 for a dress pushing the boundaries?
 
Umm.... i personally would probably think that was pushing the boundaries, but that's just me. I wouldn't expect people to pay that much for their bridesmaid dresses for my wedding.... but then again i am hardly gonna have a huge massive flashy traditional wedding. So maybe that is reasonable for the big flashy weddings?.... I have only ever been a flower girl at huge traditional weddings, and my mum was the dress maker for the brides maids so i never paid anything. And also because i was 5 years old.
 
I'd say its actually pretty common to be asked to pay $400 for a bridesmaids dress. That's not really considered extravagant.

Have you been asked to pay $400 for a dress doofqueen?
 
I wouldnt know what is the norm and shit cos 1. I never been married and dont plan to. 2. I never been invited to be a bridesmaid..........but I am hoping that will happen one day.

However.......

If i was getting married I would reckon I would expect to have to pay for the resses myself.........I reckon it would be rude to ask someone who is helping me get married to pay for there own shit..........but I dunno nothin about traditions so I spose they need to be considered.

What is considered fair??? well I expect if I was Harry kewell and I was inviting other celebs to be my brides,maids then I think 400 is cheap...........but if i am me then I would think 50 bucks was a lot. So its relative isnt it now.

I would expect that if a friend was close enough to me that i would want them to be a bridesmaid then i would also expect that they would come say hello to me if they were struggling with the cost...............but thats me and I am well aware not everyone sees the world the way i see it so it wouldnt surprise me if some just expect things and never think that maybe somes cant afford it.
 
Whether it is fair or not, its a pretty normal price of a bridesmaids dress.

I'm interested to know how much people think is reasonable or normal to pay for a wedding dress, or even the whole wedding?
 
Wow, i never knew that. If i have a wedding i wouldnt expect my bridesmaids to pay for anything extravagent like that, its my wedding, why should they?
 
doofqueen said:
So is asking someone to pay $400 for a dress pushing the boundaries?
Click to expand...

I think that's an outrageous amount personally.

My bridesmaids spent a total of $60 on their dress material. But if we'd bought off the rack wouldn't have dreamed of asking them to pay more than $100 each. But that's just me, and as vanth said, unfortunately I'm probably more an exception than a rule.

My bridesmaids were all gobsmacked my expectations were so little, as they'd been expected to fork out hundreds in the past. It makes me glad in a way I've never been asked to be a bridesmaid :D
 
vanth said:
Whether it is fair or not, its a pretty normal price of a bridesmaids dress.

I'm interested to know how much people think is reasonable or normal to pay for a wedding dress, or even the whole wedding?
Click to expand...

My dress was $1500 and my wedding in total around $16k. Not cheap but not incredibly expensive by any stretch of the imagination. So my idea of a pricey bridesmaid dress is about... $200-$250? I was very fortunate my mother in law was a seamstress and 'knew people' at Spotlight so we got free labour and cheap material, but I'd have subsidised the bm's if they had to buy an off the rack. I'd just have felt extremely awkward asking for more than $100 or so from them. Then again, I had no qualms asking for something - I do think the Bm's should pay something, but not a ludicrous amount.
 
doofqueen said:
So is asking someone to pay $400 for a dress pushing the boundaries?
Click to expand...

Personally, I think that's excessive. I have no idea what the norm is, but like SLM I'd probably consider $250 to be a pricey dress. Having never had expensive formal dresses myself, I always balk at the idea of dresses that are pushing beyond about the $300 mark. I know a wedding is an expensive event, but that's a personal choice that the bride and groom make and I honestly don't think it's fair to expect your bridesmaids to shell out huge amounts of money for dresses, particularly if it's in a style that they'll never wear again.
 
^Totally agree, Kat. I think, generally speaking, asking someone to pay $400 for a dress - especially one they'll only wear once, is way too much to ask. :\
 
and then $256 for alterations for the dress on top of that (but she didnt realise it would be so much) Makeup was $80 on the day (I paid for that too) I am not a makeup kinda gal but it was an elegant wedding and I knew she wanted professional makeup done so i did it. Hair cost the girls up to $200 each depending what they were doing. I chose to just get a haircut and do my hair myself (i have short hair anyway so there wasn't much anyone could do with it except what i could do myself) I was also asked to take all my piercings out for the day.... and there was no booze and no main meals served at the wedding...... they did however buy a $3000 photography package and went to thailand for 2 weeks on their honeymoon ...

IF i ever get married i'm paying for everything (as Taliana said it's my wedding so why should they?) It just seems so very rude to me.... maybe a small amount would be ok but not nearly $1000 ... and they won't have to have their hair and makeup done unless they want to and they can stay who they are and not have to change to suit my wedding....
 
Bloody hell. But I've heard worse horror stories DQ! Some brides require fake tanning, nails and so on, all paid for by the girls! terrible.

You might find some girls are really excited by the idea of having their hair and makeup professionally done... my BM's were... but I totally agree they shouldn't have to pay for it. Those things, if they enjoy them, should be the bride's pampering gift to them for their involvement. Especially if a certain 'look' or 'style' is wanted.

Hey; as I always say though - the good thing about weddings is when it comes around to yours, you can do it your way. Like raising children, everyone will have an opinion on it, but in the end it's up to you :)
 
Well my sister and the rest of the brides maids had it pretty good if you ask me. Being a hairdresser I did all of their hair (and ended up running out of time to do my own :( ) and my sister was also at the time good friends with a make up artist.
 
Faarrrk thats HEAPS!

The only time I would ever pay that much is if it were a designer dress that I could wear again.

And it sounds like you weren't aware of the costs until you'd accepted? That's not on either. If I ever got married I'd pay for everything myself. That said, I would never have a large wedding or bridal party. It's all well and good that its "their" wedding but if you're overburdening the people that are supposed to be enjoying it with you then thats more than a little selfish.
 
What about those Myer Bridal registrys? When you can choose between a $14.95 set of measuring spoons or a $799 Dyson vacuum cleaner (and a few things in between in reality) is it rude to get the cheap things?
Sure a Dyson would be a great present, but who spends that much on a present?! :!

:D
 
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