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Wat things have you lost/given up to your addiction?

i like to think i have misplaced, more than lost my stuff. as an optimist, with a decent support network, and plans / goals, i can retain some quality of life.

i pawned a nice black les paul for $20, most likely valued around $700

maxed out 3 credit cards. struggling to keep afloat.

was 25 days late on my mortgage

lost a girl i still love, but i think she is crazy because she left me for an ex-boyfriend who has much worse personal problems than me. i am a sweetheart by nature and i have been told numerous times that girls like mean boys, i guess i am screwed in that aspect.

i just woke up at 5am with bad anxiety so i took a xanax and i am waiting for it to kick in.

can't find a fucking job that will pay my bills because of the goddamn economy

at least i have a clean condo and i am a great cook and i play in 2 rock bands. our shows cover the rent for the practice studio.

i miss having a job and a routine and something to do everyday. it is so easy to just drink and read books and maybe play wii all day every day.

i kicked a bad ppt habit 3 months ago, so that's good.

i only have 3 friends and 2 of them have no time for me.

i guess that's all. oh but i can't sleep.
 
Ugh, just cleaned all the empty dope bags off my nightstand and chair in my room. 1 month = stopped counting at 1240. Fucking waste. Big pile of empty bags that are torn open cause I needed to scrape them.
 
ToxicFerret said:
Ugh, just cleaned all the empty dope bags off my nightstand and chair in my room. 1 month = stopped counting at 1240. Fucking waste. Big pile of empty bags that are torn open cause I needed to scrape them.
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That's crazy, you spent $12,420 in one month? O_O

Did u actually get a decent shot from scrapin em? When I was sick I would scrap the empties i had from the day before or whenever, usually had like 5-10 at a time. Barely got anything from it. Then I'd add that with like 5-10 cottons I had saved and feel the shot a lil bit,,takes the w/d away and allows you to go out and cop some more.
 
Georgie25 said:
That's crazy, you spent $12,420 in one month? O_O

Did u actually get a decent shot from scrapin em? When I was sick I would scrap the empties i had from the day before or whenever, usually had like 5-10 at a time. Barely got anything from it. Then I'd add that with like 5-10 cottons I had saved and feel the shot a lil bit,,takes the w/d away and allows you to go out and cop some more.
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No, I spent 1240 and then whatever else I didn't bother to count in one month. If I had money to do 12 large of smack every month I would be dead probably already!

But still, over a grand of dope in a month is a lot of money to ME, perhaps not to other folks. Especially considering I don't work and cant really remember where any of that loot came from. The details of the hustle each day tend to blend together.

For me scraping bags can work. The bags I get are typically strong enough that I can get three shots off them. First shot is three bags, then second shot I add a bag to whatever is left in the spoon, and then the next morning I scrape the bags which I am usually pretty messy with (meaning there is dope inside them that I didn't bother to get out) and put that in with the third shot. Keeps me well until I can recop, as you said.
 
edit: I agree^^^ but typing it out is a good reminder of where I've been and the progress I've made.

-Money (not trying to dicksize but I've probably spent 30-40% of all the money I've come into on drugs....which is a fucking lot of money over the years).
-Family, I've stolen from family members only to have them forgive me, and then steal from them again
-Girlfriends, all of long term relationships ended mostly because of my/our drug use.
-Opportunities, I've dropped out of college 2-3 times and blown countless other opportunities (such as a chance to work at Camp Woodward which possibly could have led me to becoming a a pro skateboarder.....I used to be really good at skateboarding)
-Lost opportunities for sex because I was way too high to realize girls were coming on to me.
-I've pawned 2 ps2's, 2 xbox's, a stereo, all my cd's and dvd's, car stereo (cd player, amp, subs, and box), 2 TV's, collectible coins, a rolex (I stole from a family member), my apple iBook g4 (less than a year old) and countless other shit. Crashed 2 cars, helped get a 17 year old girl hooked on heroin, lost my dog to my ex and probably a ton more shit that I've pushed to the back of my mind. :\
But I've changed. I've grown up a lot. And I'd like to think I've learned from my mistakes and all this crazy bullshit has added to the depth of my experience as a human and changed me for the better.
 
A Wife, a house, two cars, money? ha yeah money, possesions yeah just a small piece. Desire, peace, sanity, freedom. God damn the pusherman. Used to think it made me stronger until giving up some good clean time, now I know the deal once a junkie always a junkie.
 
Hendrix Haze15 said:
The worst was when my dad got a PGA hat which was signed by professional golfer Vijay Singh for his birthday, and within a week that ended up in the pawn shop too because of his piece of shit junky son:(
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A hat signed by Vijay Singh? You bastard!;) Vijay's a pretty cool guy, but an asshole.

Anyway, I lost jobs, my truck, lots of money, trust. Never pawned anything. Never stole to support my habit.
 
He got it back from the pawn shop when he found out what happened but I still can't get over what a heartless desperate piece of garbage I was back then. Thank god for suboxone lol.
 
i think i gave up my social skills, with the pain i was in i was miserable and not very happy but i think i appreciated things more. Now with oxys and methadone, its not that i'm blurred because i'm on maintenance dose but i have definately become a homebody.
 
lots of things. but the one that bothers me most is my memory loss. smoking huge amounts of weed, spending large periods of time drinking liquor daily and all day, staying up for 3 or 4 nights on uppers, shooting up poorly filtered pills... all of these things have completely destroyed my mind's ability to recall. meanwhile I'm a student trying to get ahead in an artistic field that has been my passion since I was a little child. I feel like my ability to retain the information I'm learning to improve my art is greatly diminished due to my drug abuse. it's a shame.
 
what have u pawned for drugs

and what did you get for it

also how do they come up with a price to pay you? say you payed 300$ for somthing ,what do they look at on the computer that tells them whatr to give you i have always wondered this

i used to pawn all my ps2 games and dvds in 03' cause i would wake up in alcohol w/d every morning ,,,,i actually got inshape from walking so fucking much
 
Too much to count. Overall, I would have made thousands of dollars pawning stuff, and all that money went onto drugs.
 
^ Depends who you're selling it to! A pawn shop usually won't give you much for an item (they need to make a profit too), so most of the time I've just sold stuff to friends and acquaintances. I set the price.
 
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