I am disappointed with San Pedro, I got a slight buzz but other than that...disappointing.
I personally prefer the effects of San Pedro over psilocybin mushrooms, but mushrooms grow much faster, which matters even more if you end up needing much bigger doses to get anywhere.
I look forward to experimenting with different psilocybin strains of mushrooms...I grew white golden teacher but only had 2 grams before my wife convinced me to throw it away. I was frustrated by the lacking effects of it all that I tossed it into the compost pile. Honestly don't know how it will be after we move back into our house it's been so long living in an Rv. that I cannot remember. My wife is concerned about the legality of psychedelic substances therefore obviously against it. Hopefully legislature allowing personal use will pass in NYS Senate and I can continue to self-medicate with these substances without retribution.
This is all very unfortunate. Regarding my wife and I, psychedelics have been a part of our relationship from the start. We did have 11 years in which we didn't do them at all, and she was a little apprehensive about my decision to resume use of them until we both realized that they are extraordinarily effective for treating the chronic diseases I suffer from. Now she joins me on many of my journeys like in the old days. I'm sad that a lot of people abuse these things when they are in their teens and twenties and then abandon them later, because I think the benefits are even more apparent to us when we are older.
The legal situation is extremely regrettable, and I imagine you feel more vulnerable living in the RV which may be easier for police to intrude upon. Hopefully your wife will be more amenable to the mushroom growing if you are living in a permanent residence again. I do think the risk of legal trouble associated with psychedelics is quite a bit lower than with other illegal drugs including cannabis, especially if you don't try to sell anything you produce. Of course cannabis is now somewhat legal in many states including NY, so I do hope your state decriminalizes personal psychedelics use.
Since introducing psilocybin into my system 3 months ago I've found I am no longer depressed or have a need for antidepressants. I stopped Effexor Venlafaxine 225 mg cold turkey without withdrawal side affects which is remarkable considering the nature of the drug.
It's widely believed that one must trip hard in order to experience therapeutic benefits, but I don't believe that's true at all. I'm glad you got some benefits, even if the effects you experienced were quite weak. IMO for many people a hard trip may be psychologically (or even physically) risky, and it may be better for them to take multiple smaller doses instead of trying to heal everything with one big trip.
I do hope your Effexor discontinuation works out for you. For some people, there is a post-acute withdrawal phase which may take several months after discontinuation or dose reduction to manifest. It's a highly individual thing though, and it depends a lot on how long you were taking the drug.
I'm taking stimulants now, Vyvanse 50 mg (lisdexamfetamine) and dextoampheatimine 20 mg along with Vraylar 4.5 (caripraszine) antipsychotic that also treats depression. SAM-e over-the-counter mood, liver, joint & cognition support. I don't know if Belsomra a medication for treating insomnia blocks hallucinations although it works by blocking certain substances in the brain that promotes wakefulness. plus 20 mg melatonin a night helps me sleep.
Who knows, with all of these chemicals floating around inside me it's no wonder a true psychedelic experience might be in jeopardy of producing desired effects?
Most of these things could potentially alter a psychedelic experience, but it's the atypical antipsychotics (like caripraszine) and anti-depressants (like venlafaxine) that strongly interfere with and even block the action of psychedelics. You've quit the venlafaxine, and so it's down to the caripraszine, which I understand has a very long half-life and persists in the body for a very long time. Even after it's cleared the body, it may take a long time for the body to return to a normal baseline which is sufficiently sensitive to psychedelics for a "normal" experience to be had.
I'm not a doctor and cannot advise you on whether to quit taking any of these drugs, but being that you "got grumpy" a few weeks after trying to quit the caripraszine, it may be helpful to try to work out whether the grumpiness you experienced is a consequence of withdraw or of the underlying condition(s) it was treating. Unfortunately, many if not most doctors regard any negative effects that arise after discontinuation of a psychiatric drug to be "reemergence of the underlying disorder" even when it is clear to the patient that this is not the case. If you actually need the drug, then so be it, but if you're suffering from withdraw upon discontinuation, then the solution is to taper---very very slowly if needed. You might need to taper down to almost zero and then maybe wait a long time for normal responsiveness to return. Even then, I don't want to guarantee anything, and I am extremely reluctant to even discuss the prospect of discontinuing psyche drugs (or even skipping doses for that matter) with people because of the risk of things going very badly. It is so bad because I believe a great many people end up taking psyche drugs for a variety conditions that psychedelics would be much safer and more effective for if used skillfully.
BTW, 20 mg of melatonin is a huge dose. For inducing sleep, melatonin works best at a "sweet spot" dose, which for most people is at or under 1 mg. The downside with oral melatonin is that it is cleared from the body too rapidly to mimic natural production, and this causes people to awaken too soon. Some manufacturers attempt to address this using a time release formula, but I have no idea how well these work in practice. When I took melatonin regularly, I tended to take around 2 tablets of "1 mg" strength, with the caveat that I noticed a lot of variation between batches from most manufacturers. At something like 2 mg, melatonin may not work as well to induce sleep, but active amounts of stick around in the body longer, allowing one to sleep a bit longer.
Best wishes to you, whatever path you choose to take.
