THE_REAL_OBLIVION
Bluelight Crew
Alright, when I was younger I had delayed sleep phase disorder. It has always caused me a lot of problems with demands of this society (the day starts at 7 am most of the time, not noon/1pm). It took me longer to finish my first BA longer than anybody I know and this brought on a lot of shame especially when I realized it was the wrong kind of BA for me and I decided to do another one. But that time I was prepared, I had Rivotril (Klonopin everywhere else than US), 1mg a day (2 x .5) and I slept the correct amount of time with it etc. I maybe felt dizzy for the first 2-3 weeks upon waking up but that was it.
So things spiraled out of control after that BA for me after some jaw/headache problem arose in 2007 and I got into shooting opiates just for pain relief etc. while I increased my benzo consumption.
Well long story short, these days I have a frustrating defect in my sleep hygiene even with all the meds I am on to make me calmer/sleep better. I'm on temp disability and i dont have a reason to wake up at 7 am especially when I only fall asleep for real at 3 am. First part of the problem is I usually fall asleep at 8:30/9 pm thinking awesome i'm sleepy that early I will sleep great tonight. But no, I wake up roughly an hour later, often feeling pretty damn bizarre while it feels I just woke up after i fell asleep maybe for 5 min. Then something wakes me up right away. Then I usually just go back to bed at 1-2am and fall asleep at 3-4am. The most frustrating part of the problem follows and googlin for heatlh tips about what it could be yields low results. I wake up every goddamn hours starting 7 or 8 am to piss. Today I did that from 7am to 2 pm, almost exactly 1 hour apart. I see my alarm clock telling me things like 7h06, 8h14, 9h03, 10h20, 11h16, 12h10 etc.
White male, 30 years old, 6'0 204 lbs, very slightly overweight (remainings of my pothead days and related munchies in my belly only, i think im only 8 lbs over my max healthy weight) Diseases : Generalized Anxiety Disorder/Panic Attacks/Opiate Dependency (hardly a disease but its in my medical record even if the methadone helped the jaw pain/nerve pain/headaches in the left part of my face, I hardly am in pain, physically at least, anymore). Asthma, tachycardia, high blood pressure (both treated with clonidine along for its other usages, see below), Insomnia and I am paranoid something might be wrong with my kidneys/adrenal glands/heart.
Medication I am on :
Methadone 55mg daily
Valium 10 15 or 20mg daily (depends on how i feel)
Hydroxyzine 50mg (for sleep, also i often take 1 right before i go take my methadone dose, it really potentiates it hard and it makes me never raise my done dosage, now at 55mg for 6 weeks and i dont want/feel like i need more
Seroquel 25mg pills (those for sleep), I take 50mg usually when hydroxyzine and valium doesnt work at knocking me out. I still took 50mg this morning after waking up the first time and i still woke up to pee every damn hour afterwards.
Clonidine 0.2mg bid Blood pressure, to also help with anxiety and sleep and not abuse my benzos. These last 3 meds help a lot for me not going back to my old script which was 66% stronger..3mg clonazepam a day.
Fiorinal (300mg aspirin, 50mg butalbital, 50mg caffeine), in case the terrible headaches resurface, only take as needed.
And my asthma pumps being : Bricanyl (Terbutaline) bronchodilator and Symbicort (budenoside/formoterol) combo of corticosteroid and bronchodilatator. The terbutaline is for when I feel really fucking out of breath.
I have tons of shit preoccupying myself mentally about my health. Please tell me this is, because i often throw 6-8 beers on top and my kidneys are overloaded with toxins to excrete.I seem to have the peeing problem much worse when I drink. I know I shouldnt drink over methadone, but it also prevents me from taking more valium and increase my benzo tolerance. i reduced it by 66% and it is one of my proudest moments to have done so, a habit harder to break than opiate addiction, for sure. I have chosen to go on methadone in october because I couldn't face, mentally, another withdrawal. Anyway i'm rambling. I am not drinking tonight and I will see what happens. I bothered writing this cos the feel sleepy at 8pm wake up at 9 shit happened again.
So things spiraled out of control after that BA for me after some jaw/headache problem arose in 2007 and I got into shooting opiates just for pain relief etc. while I increased my benzo consumption.
Well long story short, these days I have a frustrating defect in my sleep hygiene even with all the meds I am on to make me calmer/sleep better. I'm on temp disability and i dont have a reason to wake up at 7 am especially when I only fall asleep for real at 3 am. First part of the problem is I usually fall asleep at 8:30/9 pm thinking awesome i'm sleepy that early I will sleep great tonight. But no, I wake up roughly an hour later, often feeling pretty damn bizarre while it feels I just woke up after i fell asleep maybe for 5 min. Then something wakes me up right away. Then I usually just go back to bed at 1-2am and fall asleep at 3-4am. The most frustrating part of the problem follows and googlin for heatlh tips about what it could be yields low results. I wake up every goddamn hours starting 7 or 8 am to piss. Today I did that from 7am to 2 pm, almost exactly 1 hour apart. I see my alarm clock telling me things like 7h06, 8h14, 9h03, 10h20, 11h16, 12h10 etc.
White male, 30 years old, 6'0 204 lbs, very slightly overweight (remainings of my pothead days and related munchies in my belly only, i think im only 8 lbs over my max healthy weight) Diseases : Generalized Anxiety Disorder/Panic Attacks/Opiate Dependency (hardly a disease but its in my medical record even if the methadone helped the jaw pain/nerve pain/headaches in the left part of my face, I hardly am in pain, physically at least, anymore). Asthma, tachycardia, high blood pressure (both treated with clonidine along for its other usages, see below), Insomnia and I am paranoid something might be wrong with my kidneys/adrenal glands/heart.
Medication I am on :
Methadone 55mg daily
Valium 10 15 or 20mg daily (depends on how i feel)
Hydroxyzine 50mg (for sleep, also i often take 1 right before i go take my methadone dose, it really potentiates it hard and it makes me never raise my done dosage, now at 55mg for 6 weeks and i dont want/feel like i need more
Seroquel 25mg pills (those for sleep), I take 50mg usually when hydroxyzine and valium doesnt work at knocking me out. I still took 50mg this morning after waking up the first time and i still woke up to pee every damn hour afterwards.
Clonidine 0.2mg bid Blood pressure, to also help with anxiety and sleep and not abuse my benzos. These last 3 meds help a lot for me not going back to my old script which was 66% stronger..3mg clonazepam a day.
Fiorinal (300mg aspirin, 50mg butalbital, 50mg caffeine), in case the terrible headaches resurface, only take as needed.
And my asthma pumps being : Bricanyl (Terbutaline) bronchodilator and Symbicort (budenoside/formoterol) combo of corticosteroid and bronchodilatator. The terbutaline is for when I feel really fucking out of breath.
I have tons of shit preoccupying myself mentally about my health. Please tell me this is, because i often throw 6-8 beers on top and my kidneys are overloaded with toxins to excrete.I seem to have the peeing problem much worse when I drink. I know I shouldnt drink over methadone, but it also prevents me from taking more valium and increase my benzo tolerance. i reduced it by 66% and it is one of my proudest moments to have done so, a habit harder to break than opiate addiction, for sure. I have chosen to go on methadone in october because I couldn't face, mentally, another withdrawal. Anyway i'm rambling. I am not drinking tonight and I will see what happens. I bothered writing this cos the feel sleepy at 8pm wake up at 9 shit happened again.
