annachronism
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2014
- Messages
- 65
I feel incredibly full of guilt and shame. On my second day of acute withdrawals and just seeing my little boys face in a picture causes me to start blubbering. I almost lost him completely to DCFS and the adoption process 2 years ago due to my addiction. I managed to pull my shit together last minute and with the help of friends and family and my parents retirement fund got him back into my custody. Yet Lo and Behold as soon as I acquire some real self sufficiency I fuck up again and put my poor baby's reality into jeopardy again. I can go into his room and hold him close right now but I've spent the last two days showing him away and feeding him crap and putting him in front of the TV because I cant handle it. He isn't in danger and he isn't being neglected because ive been able to manage the bare minimum I just cant believe id endanger his physical and emotional security all over again. Wtf is wrong with me