Vent/Rant Thread vs I'll tell you how I really feel (Triggering Content)

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But i kindof know what's cchanged, she's n "abiliy" and its changed her life for the best, she's not suicidal anymore, drinking less, but now is going back on her resolution to go to rehab, which is the premise on which i agreed we would live together (if she was sober) it was just tonight on the phone she was distant, she said she was tired (maybe she was...) our relationship is so fucked up
 
Maybe she's on drugs and trying to hide it? Would explain being distant, sounding tired, not going to rehab like she agreed, etc.

But honestly, it could be nothing as well. Just try to have an honest discussion with her about how you feel, without being accusatory at all. You don't want her to get all defensive, so try to just explain how you're feeling and some of the weird things you have noticed but without drawing any conclusions.
 
It's a shame alcohol can make me dwell on the past and what used to be. I miss what we had. I wanna message you so badly but I know it's a hidden trap. It's hard for me to think that you have moved on, but you probably have. I just can't help but think "what if" :(
 
^^ You'll never know unless you send the message, and the worst thing that can happen is you confirm your fears and become able to move on. (unless that post wasn't as literal as it sounded)
 
I really can't stand my fucking ex. I feel bad for him because he's in such a sad state, however, there's only so much one can take. I've moved on. He keeps begging and pleading to get me back, but I can't. I can't do it. He hurt and lied to me too fucking much. I don't have him blocked because he's threatened and attempted suicide numerous times and I feel I'd be part responsible if he did harm himself because I wouldn't have been around to talk him down. I have enough shit going on in my fucking life, from my mom having cancer, school, and the pressure I feel from myself to always look and act "perfect". Can't. Fucking. Do it anymore!
 
I really can't stand my fucking ex. I feel bad for him because he's in such a sad state, however, there's only so much one can take. I've moved on. He keeps begging and pleading to get me back, but I can't. I can't do it. He hurt and lied to me too fucking much. I don't have him blocked because he's threatened and attempted suicide numerous times and I feel I'd be part responsible if he did harm himself because I wouldn't have been around to talk him down. I have enough shit going on in my fucking life, from my mom having cancer, school, and the pressure I feel from myself to always look and act "perfect". Can't. Fucking. Do it anymore!

Addy <3<3 That's frustrating on the part of your ex I mean it won't be your fault if he can't handle the truth that he's messed up so many times and that a person can only tolerate so much. Try not to stress yourself about him you are doing great and you've become strong.

As we all know there's only so much we can do and we get burnt out because of our busy lives but we can always take a break for about a day and have that day for ourselves (took a day off on Thursday) I was feeling the same thing last Wednesday due to work stuff because things can be too much knowing that my two coworkers are leaving for mat leave and I will be left behind with all the work and stress so hell man Id take days off here and there.
 
I really can't stand my fucking ex. I feel bad for him because he's in such a sad state, however, there's only so much one can take. I've moved on. He keeps begging and pleading to get me back, but I can't. I can't do it. He hurt and lied to me too fucking much. I don't have him blocked because he's threatened and attempted suicide numerous times and I feel I'd be part responsible if he did harm himself because I wouldn't have been around to talk him down. I have enough shit going on in my fucking life, from my mom having cancer, school, and the pressure I feel from myself to always look and act "perfect". Can't. Fucking. Do it anymore!

Part of me feels like a complete and utter failure for not trying to convince my ex to give it another shot, but a bigger part of me knows that stressing the fuck out of her is the last thing that would ever help the situation and most likely lead to never seeing her or hearing from her again.

I already most likely won't ever hear from her unless we run into each other at an AA thing or something in a few months, but at least I respected her wishes and made it "easy" for her. I hate myself for doing it, but I know it was right. I'm sorry your ex can't see things from your perspective and chill out. Sounds like he actually fucked up to cause things to end, so a bit different then my situation was but, yeah I don't actually have any idea where I'm going with this or what my point is.

As Maya said none of it's your fault, and you aren't responsible for him. If you are legitimately worried about him hurting himself for real tell somebody else, he can't guilt trip you into talking to him, that isn't fair especially with all the other shit you're going through. My mom had cancer too, I know that alone is enough plus all the other crap... Hang in there ad lib.

Maybe tell him how horribly stressful your life is right now because of everything going on, and tell him if he really loves you he will stop making things worse..
 
The older I've gotten, the more I've realised that once you break up, it's best to avoid all contact for at minimum 6 months or so.

I was always driven insane by a freshly-ex girlfriend going out and having rebound sex. And on this kind of thing, it's just best not to know...because chances are that it is every bit as bad you think it is. Breaking up sucks...it's absolutely terrible, in fact. I will say, though, that having been through all of this stuff with hardcore drug addiction, I really see things like relationship woes in perspective these days.
 
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Thanks maya, case and red <3 I think I'll put him on block and not look back.
 
^yep because feelingd will still be there and their actions at that time will definitely affect your emotions.

When I broke up with my four year relationship after a week I went on his fb account and found out he was already dating someone else and it made me emotional which ended up in me goin out on binge drinking that night tsk tsk.
 
Oh ya, that sort of thing jumpstarted my great MDMA binge of 2008. I just couldn't let her go and kept calling. That last time I heard a dude in the background telling her to "get off the phone and come back to bed." Or something very similar to that. I went out that night to a rave club and met a great contact. Started rolling like twice a week from that point, which quickly made things much worse for me. Oh well, live and learn.
 
I hope all our romance problems are sorted soon! After the end of a relatively short-term thing (that IMO needed to end when it did) I started hanging out with a couple of guys, nothing serious. One is still in the picture, as a friend for now. He's cool. The other turned out to have a little problem with meth. This is the third time I've met one of those (I don't use) and it's getting maddening.

I definitely feel a void in my life without a boyfriend. It can't be just anybody though. It's hard for me to sleep alone at night. I will find a way to take control of this.

We're a pack of lovely singles (especially you RL, how can a girl resist your curly hair?!), suppose it's better than being in an unhappy relationship though. Not willing to go through that again.
 
^ Thank you for the complement!

I'm in uncharted waters right now. I've always been a nice guy who has usually been lonely and wanted a relationship and all of that. And I was always insecure about being honest about ever wanting something casual or not serious. But right now, I'm in the process of fighting out a lot of stuff about myself, rebuilding my spirituality, but then also rebuilding my finances and gaining some stability/traction. It's not something that happens overnight, and I don't want to exactly jump into a relationship right now, as I fear that it could get in the way of all of the work on myself that still needs to be done. With that said, I want company for dates, going to classy events, going to unclassy events, and just helping force myself to be more comfortable with women and whatnot. So I am trying to meet as many new women as possible, and do the whole "honesty about not wanting anything serious" approach. So we will see, but hopefully it will be an interesting year.

^Hey Red. Just wanted to let you know I made a reply to your last PM, but your inbox was full. I'll try resending it soon. All the best buddy.

Try now. I just purged the inbox and the outbox. I feel so alive!
 
I really can't stand my fucking ex. I feel bad for him because he's in such a sad state, however, there's only so much one can take. I've moved on. He keeps begging and pleading to get me back, but I can't. I can't do it. He hurt and lied to me too fucking much. I don't have him blocked because he's threatened and attempted suicide numerous times and I feel I'd be part responsible if he did harm himself because I wouldn't have been around to talk him down. I have enough shit going on in my fucking life, from my mom having cancer, school, and the pressure I feel from myself to always look and act "perfect". Can't. Fucking. Do it anymore!

Awh Addy, I really can't tell you what to do but in a way I think you need to cut ties. It sounds like he is emptionally blackmailing you n that really isn't fair on you. If he truly loved you he'd let you go n be happy - not tell you that he may commit suicide. My suggestion is to Get in touch with the authorities n have them deal with him. You really cannot have what he does on your shoulders.
You're 22 this is the time you should be happy n carefree n this may affect your new relationship which seems to be making you happy. I'm really sorry that your ex is in a bad place but sometimes we need to think of ourselves n what we need to be happy. We cannot take responsibility for another's actions.
Please take care n sorry that this is happening xxxx
 
Thanks maya, case and red <3 I think I'll put him on block and not look back.

I would at least give him an explanation though. Don't get me wrong, you aren't obligated to say anything at all. But if it were me, I would really appreciate if you explained how for your own sanity and well being you need space and can't talk to me. Too much going on that you need to deal with in your own life and his constant negative contact is making you go crazy. Just blocking and never contacting again without saying anything would be the worst thing I can imagine from his perspective, no contact with an explanation isn't much better for him, but still better. I dunno, I was in similar shoes to him a few weeks ago - not losing contact because I did anything wrong but, well i guess I still don't know why actually and thats the point - not knowing sucks way more.
 
I would at least give him an explanation though. Don't get me wrong, you aren't obligated to say anything at all. But if it were me, I would really appreciate if you explained how for your own sanity and well being you need space and can't talk to me. Too much going on that you need to deal with in your own life and his constant negative contact is making you go crazy. Just blocking and never contacting again without saying anything would be the worst thing I can imagine from his perspective, no contact with an explanation isn't much better for him, but still better. I dunno, I was in similar shoes to him a few weeks ago - not losing contact because I did anything wrong but, well i guess I still don't know why actually and thats the point - not knowing sucks way more.

That's true case...so I can give him some closure.. :(
 
When I broke up with my four year relationship after a week I went on his fb account and found out he was already dating someone else and it made me emotional which ended up in me goin out on binge drinking that night tsk tsk.
Aw gee :(

You know what you gotta do addy! :)
 
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