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Vent/Rant Thread vs I'll tell you how I really feel (Triggering Content)

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^^ Keeping busy is definitely a great way to avoid cravings! That's exactly what I do whenever I'm having a hard time - cause sitting and thinking about things always just makes it worse.

Feel free to PM me anytime by the way, FrF. I've been where you are right now multiple times. ;)
 
Black Rabbit of Inlè said:
:! I'm pissed that our government has given one state exemption to worldwide Environmental Protection laws (which, by the way, they don't actually have the power to do) to allow the cull of an endangered species based on fatalities that happened 6 fucking years ago! :!
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Wow that's frustrating! Ugh! Hate govt's tbh :\
 
The last couple days have been so stressful at my house. Sunday night my dog's back legs gave out and he can't walk so we had to take him to the vets yesterday. The x-rays showed extensive damage from spondylosis and essentially he's paralyzed. This past week, he's been stiff which we thought was arthritis kicking up but suddenly he just couldn't walk.

They kept him overnight to see if he would respond to medications but he's not improving. This dog has overcome so many obstacles health-wise and was really doing great. Then this happened and in an hour we have to go there and have him put to sleep. Seems so unfair and he isn't that old, just turned 8. This is really tearing me up. :(
 
Oh, I'm so sorry T.Cald. That's heartbreaking indeed. :( My heart goes out to you, your family, and your beloved dog. <3 <3 <3
 
T. Calderone said:
The last couple days have been so stressful at my house. Sunday night my dog's back legs gave out and he can't walk so we had to take him to the vets yesterday. The x-rays showed extensive damage from spondylosis and essentially he's paralyzed. This past week, he's been stiff which we thought was arthritis kicking up but suddenly he just couldn't walk.

They kept him overnight to see if he would respond to medications but he's not improving. This dog has overcome so many obstacles health-wise and was really doing great. Then this happened and in an hour we have to go there and have him put to sleep. Seems so unfair and he isn't that old, just turned 8. This is really tearing me up. :(
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Awh so terribly sorry that this is happening. Our pets become part of the family n this is dreadful. So very sorry that the vets are unable to do anymore. Thinking of you all xxxx
 
Thanks you guys. Even if we had an extra $5,000+ dollars to get a hip replacement, there was 4 calcified vertebrae which were contributing to the nerve damage. There was no guarantee Bear would make a satisfactory recovery. It was so hard breaking the news to my son who's 2,000 miles away. He would have liked to say goodbye but I think it would have been tough for him to see him like that. :( I'm heartbroken!
 
^^ My dad, 3000 miles away, had to have my dog put down a few years ago. I would have loved to say good bye, but i wouldn't have wanted her to suffer any longer than necisarry. One day she just could't walk around very well, started hardly moving all day. a few days later she lost all ability to get up and move around, and wouldn't eat - my dad took her too the vet and turns out she had advanced lung cancer. Strange for a dog I suppose, but anyway she was put down the next day. If she couldn't even eat or walk around I wouldn't have wanted to make her wait so I could see her.

I don't know if that helps at all Calderone, but I'm assuming your son would feel similarly to how I felt. It was really sad, but I know putting it off would have been wrong.
 
T. Calderone said:
Thanks you guys. Even if we had an extra $5,000+ dollars to get a hip replacement, there was 4 calcified vertebrae which were contributing to the nerve damage. There was no guarantee Bear would make a satisfactory recovery. It was so hard breaking the news to my son who's 2,000 miles away. He would have liked to say goodbye but I think it would have been tough for him to see him like that. :( I'm heartbroken!
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((((TC)))) xxxxx
So very sorry <3
 
My other website was hacked and I'm terribly upset about it. I have to do a shit ton of work to get it back together again. Ugh!
 
stardust.hero said:
My other website was hacked and I'm terribly upset about it. I have to do a shit ton of work to get it back together again. Ugh!
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That sucks Star :(

So I decided to take a day off tomorrow omg today was just one of those days where everything went wrong! I hate this day ugh!!
 
THIS POST IS TRIGGERING so please only read if it won't hurt your chances at sobriety - otherwise I would feel bad - focus on yourself.

NSFW:

I had a horrible dream about suboxone - I was so close to doing it in my dream and I can't even fathom it wasn't real - it felt so real. It was a lucid dream that lasted a long time.

Then there was a button and VOOMP I woke up. I never got to use in the dream.

All I want to do is scream and hurt myself. I think it is the alpha adrenergic receptors that fuck me up with this fight of flight shit.

As tired as my body and mind are, I won't go back to sleep.

I wasn't getting using dreams that fucked with me like this for 50 whole days wtf

Can anyone connect with this, how do you deal?

I seriously dont want to wake up with the "using" mind.

This makes me want to get on meds for PTSD.

All I want is to forget that fucking dream so I had to get it off my shoulders. I am now listening to music and watching TV shows.

One step at a time I guess. Will just have to let it not effect me.
 
I feel like shit, no energy, no will to live. No idea what's wrong with me. I should really go to a doctor or something but I cant be bothered waiting 2 weeks for an appointment. Feel like a complete zombie and nothing makes me happy, everything makes me feel bad.

And once again I do nothing but post on here :\
 
Fuck this I just deleted a 2 paragraph post. Don't want to post too much.

I have tried different things man, when I was going college I went new places and it's like a breath of fresh air but everything I see adds to my depression. I have such a weird state of mind, I seem to be different from everyone else. Nothing makes me happy and everything makes me feel like shit.
Honest to whatever god there is, the only time I have ANY energy to do anything or feel like living is when I'm under the influence of alcohol. Don't even have to be drunk, just that buzz makes me feel alive.
5 to 10 shots of whisky and I'm headbanging moving around wanting to get shit done etc, as soon as I'm sober again I'm back to sitting here in the same position for hours. It's making me insane.
 
^^ Because alcohol effects the release of neurotransmitters in the brain like dopamine, which give you the physical and mental energy needed to go through the day "ready to take on the world". Once you abuse a substance enough, your brain stops producing these neurotransmitters unless triggered by the substance. It does revert back to normal when one stops using drugs but it takes time, can't happen over night. Exercise and healthy diet have been proven to reduce the amount of time it takes your brain to return to normal.

And it's called the Vent/Rant thread for a reason plmar, don't worry about posting whatever it is you need to post. I've deleted large posts i've written up in the past as well for fear that nobody cares or whatever - but I've found it's not true and always get a response from people even if it's a lengthy vent/rant.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
THIS POST IS TRIGGERING so please only read if it won't hurt your chances at sobriety - otherwise I would feel bad - focus on yourself.

NSFW:

I had a horrible dream about suboxone - I was so close to doing it in my dream and I can't even fathom it wasn't real - it felt so real. It was a lucid dream that lasted a long time.

Then there was a button and VOOMP I woke up. I never got to use in the dream.

All I want to do is scream and hurt myself. I think it is the alpha adrenergic receptors that fuck me up with this fight of flight shit.

As tired as my body and mind are, I won't go back to sleep.

I wasn't getting using dreams that fucked with me like this for 50 whole days wtf

Can anyone connect with this, how do you deal?

I seriously dont want to wake up with the "using" mind.

This makes me want to get on meds for PTSD.

All I want is to forget that fucking dream so I had to get it off my shoulders. I am now listening to music and watching TV shows.

One step at a time I guess. Will just have to let it not effect me.
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I don't really know what to suggest. Do you have a counsellor / therapist that you could discuss your fears? Do you go to NA? If so maybe someone has had a similar experience experience n could help.
 
Oh god. My housemate is driving me a bit nuts. She keeps talking to herself, manically laughing to herself, swearing to herself and won't stop. It makes me nervous and anxious to leave my room. I'm paranoid she's messing with my stuff again. The women is in her 30's but acts like a 15 year old, eating other people's food and scribbling out the "Please don't eat!" bits on people's food. She lies and called me a "fucking dirty spunk whore" when I asked her not to eat or tamper with my stuff. I can't leave anything in the cupboards or fridge as she'll eat it. God damn. The other lady who lives here shouts to herself in another language all hours of the night. It feels like I live in a nut house.

I wish I could get a script for suboxone asap. My partner "helps" me by smoking me up. I don't want him too anymore, I have tried to cold turkey so many times but am weak and give in to it and to him to get out of w/ds. Argh. I hate this stupid physical opiate addiction so much.
 
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