Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
Everyone is both incompetent and stupid, I need to move out into another galaxy.
Our galaxy will be merging with another galaxy in a few billion years
Everyone is both incompetent and stupid, I need to move out into another galaxy.
Our galaxy will be merging with another galaxy in a few billion years
Can I please cryosleep until said merge?
I think I could use a few billion year break from things right now.
Or maybe a good nights sleep. I guess I'll find out in the morning.![]()
I would not choose to look at this in this manor.. you have made great strides and this does not take away from all you have accomplished. recovery is a process and the only thing we need to do is learn from our slips. dust yourself off, learn the lesson it gives, and keep moving forward
One thing I would look at is how this all went down. It seems like a strong trigger for you is when you feel another person is treating you poorly. this seems to cause a very unpleasant emotions and mood for you. you then use this to justify your use. This is addict thinking as it does not make sense. Its could be looked at as I am so upset at what has happened that it justifies me using a substance that makes me miserable and ruins my life. I we take the time to think through any set of circumstances that we think initially justify us using we so often find that they dont make sense when we look at them further. Another big one for allot of people is using guilt over circumstances caused by drug abuse to justify more drug abuse. That one is like I am so ashamed and guilt stricken over the damage I have done hitting myself in the head with a hammer that I need to and am going to hit myself in the head with a hammer.
The part of the brain thats addicted and want use no matter what is powerful and very manipulative. It is in control of our emotions and moods.. it knows we dont think clearly and are weaker when we are upset. The whole purpose of emotions is to make us do what it wants. In learning techniques to calm down and rethink any thought process that ends in use is a good way to see through portions of its game. There is never a good reason or justification to use a substance that we are addicted to as they always suck and ruin us. So when ever the I need to use or the old fuck it im getting fucked up moment comes.. throw up a red flag and review the events and thought that lead up to that moment.. cause with addiction all wells lead to use, even if they make no sense, and when we reach that moment our addiction smiles and chuckles because we have once again gotten played. Its a weird concept to not be able to trust our own thoughts, but once we see this then it hard not to see it.. once you see a portion of the delusion of addiction it losses it power.
The lesson from this one could be that there may be a few areas you can explore. what can you do or change to limit the power other peoples actions have over you and your emotions and moods. what would be a healthy way for you handle this situation when you come across it again. ??
Your doing great Evel.. keep at it this shit is hard but you have come so far and are fighting hard to keep moving forward in this battle.
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Really thinking of throwing all my subs away n stopping all together. Maybe then people will stop laughing n treating me as a complete joke. I was manipulated by someone who had me think suboxone was good for codeine addiction. If i quit cold turkey will I redeem myself?
BL is an awesome community and I love you all for sure but got nobody irl who seems to be on my wavelength.
I ask this dude i went to college with on FB if he wants to go out get messed up on the weekend and he goes offline lol.
if the person im talking about reads this fuck you
fuck it ill do it myself its more fun anyway