manboychef
Bluelighter
A week. I havent seen my son in four years. Im used to loss. I just have to keep holding onto hope. It cant last, i can and will outlive these days.
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Vent/Rant Thread vs I'll tell you how I really feel (Triggering Content)
- Thread starter neversickanymore
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herbavore
Bluelight Crew
^I'm really sorry. Nothing harder than missing your kids.
in my lower back my disks and bones are deteriorating and they want to fuckin fuse the bone together but i don't know how much good that can do if the bone is deteriorating i'm very pissed i hardly have any of my pain meds left and i'm constantly in agony
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
((((manboychef)))) so very sorry that's dreadful. Can you not get some sort of help/advice to try and see him? Thoughts are with you xxxx
dwann you need to go back n talk to your doctor about this. If you're still in agony maybe you need different painkillers - and talk to them about your feelings, your concerns that fusing the bones together won't do nothing if they're gna keep degenerating Worth a try isn't?
I'm sorry you are going through this xxxx
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
That doesn't make sense. If you're in pain n in need of surgery sure they should keep your pain meds going and reduce them after your surgery or if he's worried that you may become addicted, try you with some non-opiate based painkillers while he reduces the other lot.
My daughter's mother decided to ruin the lines of communication that I have with my daughter by doing the most manipulative, insulting, hurtful thing that she could think to do and say.
I can't as a man really talk to the mother after what she said tonight, and that is my only line of communication to my daughter. Not sure what to do or think. Hopefully it will come to me over time. I guess I'm supposed to be suicidal or enraged or depressed or something, but I have no feeling.
I can't as a man really talk to the mother after what she said tonight, and that is my only line of communication to my daughter. Not sure what to do or think. Hopefully it will come to me over time. I guess I'm supposed to be suicidal or enraged or depressed or something, but I have no feeling.
manboychef
Bluelighter
The feeling of loss becomes familiar over the years. Its all about dominance.
Im feeling less bitter. There are things that you can do. Make an email account in your daughters name and write emails from yours until she is old enough to know the truth and have the password. Send letters in your handwriting, scan them into your computer. Bind a book with them. Stay current with your support and call always. Keep your heart full someday your daughter will need you.
Everything changes....eventually.
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Dam, Im currently on the side of the road in my car complete with broken drive shaft 
Recovery guy came out only to say it was to heavy for him to tow....like they didnt know this before they sent him ?
At least i have my phone whilst I wait for the big flat bed ::D
Recovery guy came out only to say it was to heavy for him to tow....like they didnt know this before they sent him ?
At least i have my phone whilst I wait for the big flat bed ::D
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
Oh dear^. That sounds expensive.
Hmmmm, probably and the car is really getting a bit long in the tooth. I'm just going to get it patched up for now then get rid of it as is on FleaBay.
I've held off getting another as I wasnt sure if I'd be able to go back to a manual, I can't so I'll have to get another auto just not sure what, I liked the old Land Rover Disco but it uses a stupid amount of fuel and takes about a week to get to 50MPH.
I might have to get my old Lambretta out of the garage if I can't get the car done tomorrow.
I've held off getting another as I wasnt sure if I'd be able to go back to a manual, I can't so I'll have to get another auto just not sure what, I liked the old Land Rover Disco but it uses a stupid amount of fuel and takes about a week to get to 50MPH.
I might have to get my old Lambretta out of the garage if I can't get the car done tomorrow.
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Please don't think I'm judging you, because believe me I am not n would not, but wouldn't it be best to try n communicate with her if it means that you'll see your daughter? Because your child will be suffering through not being allowed to see you n is that fair on your daughter? Just something to think about. I really hope that you and your daughter are able to find a way of seeing one another again.
Dwamn, I was afraid you were going to say that. I'm so sorry that you're in this pain n going through all of this xxxx
I just don't know how to do that. Pretend it didn't happen, and that she didn't say what she said?
She is a dog. I'm not a person to be manipulated or abused and she has tried and tried to do this with a psycho pattern of behavior for years, and I have patiently dealt with her.
I last saw my daughter at Christmas, and that was after a year and a half of not seeing her, and I made big sacrifices to help the mother, and she was an intolerable monster who all but ruined the trip, and certainly shortened it.
But now she has crossed the line to such a degree that I can't see myself continuing to tolerate anything else from her. Maybe that will change as I begin to go more time without talking to my daughter. Maybe I will be able to reestablish communication with my daughter through my daughter's facebook to set a time when I can call her directly.
Right now I am finished with talking to the mom. Enough is enough. Maybe that will change over time.
manboychef
Bluelighter
Forgiveness is not for the cold hearted bitch being forgiven. Its for your own beleaguered soul. You can clench your fist and gnash your teeth at her, but it is for naught....
Just be cordial in passing....only passing. If she is what you say, then your daughter needs you as her compass to guide her away from those behaviors.
At allein. Hope you can just bandaid that up till you can go back to driving a standard :-D. I drive a five speed mazda 3
Just be cordial in passing....only passing. If she is what you say, then your daughter needs you as her compass to guide her away from those behaviors.
At allein. Hope you can just bandaid that up till you can go back to driving a standard :-D. I drive a five speed mazda 3
^^^
I with you there, you may hold all sorts of negative feelings towards this person but do you really want your daughter to grow up in that atmosphere ?
I know it's easier said than done, such is the beauty of 'advice' but it doesnt make it any less true.
I'm unlikely to be driving a manual any time soon my reconstructed left leg isnt holding up well, ironically I can still ride my scooter :D
I with you there, you may hold all sorts of negative feelings towards this person but do you really want your daughter to grow up in that atmosphere ?
I know it's easier said than done, such is the beauty of 'advice' but it doesnt make it any less true.
I'm unlikely to be driving a manual any time soon my reconstructed left leg isnt holding up well, ironically I can still ride my scooter :D
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
I was trying to think of the right words to say then in response to Corazon's post without appearing offensive or rude. I think you post says it all really.
Corazon, Of course only you can decide whether or not you wish to communicate with your daughter's mother but try to think about how your daughter may be feeling with not seeing her father - and all the precious times that you are missing. Forgiveness is not always for the other person but a way for us to move forward and to relieve any negative feelings in association with that specific resentment/situation. I won't say any more as really, it's not my right---and this is your vent... You know I'm here in PM if you ever wish to talk or for someone to listen to.
Take care n I truly wish that all comes right for you,
Evey xxxx
Car is going to cost £500+ to get fixed and won't be ready until tomorrow. I took the day off today and after getting stuff sorted with the garage that's doing my car I set to work getting my 50 year old Scooter sorted out.
It's been layed up over the winter and there were a few jobs needing doing which I had the parts waiting for, spent all day getting it sorted. It broke down on the test ride, I pushed it home (not far) and was so hot and in so much pan from my bad leg and back I puked
Turns out the flywheel woodruff key sheared and I don't have another, it's a £1 / £$1 part, just so annoying.
I can't drive Mrs Allen's car as it a manual so I've had to call me mum, she's going to be taxi for me tomorrow
It's been layed up over the winter and there were a few jobs needing doing which I had the parts waiting for, spent all day getting it sorted. It broke down on the test ride, I pushed it home (not far) and was so hot and in so much pan from my bad leg and back I puked
Turns out the flywheel woodruff key sheared and I don't have another, it's a £1 / £$1 part, just so annoying.
I can't drive Mrs Allen's car as it a manual so I've had to call me mum, she's going to be taxi for me tomorrow
Oxy_Ghost
Bluelighter
Car is going to cost £500+ to get fixed and won't be ready until tomorrow. I took the day off today and after getting stuff sorted with the garage that's doing my car I set to work getting my 50 year old Scooter sorted out.
It's been layed up over the winter and there were a few jobs needing doing which I had the parts waiting for, spent all day getting it sorted. It broke down on the test ride, I pushed it home (not far) and was so hot and in so much pan from my bad leg and back I puked
Turns out the flywheel woodruff key sheared and I don't have another, it's a £1 / £$1 part, just so annoying.
I can't drive Mrs Allen's car as it a manual so I've had to call me mum, she's going to be taxi for me tomorrow
Damn that sucks about your car. Too bad you couldn't do it yourself or with a friend, save a lot of money. Driveshaft isn't too hard to replace. I love working on cars, muscle cars. I had a 3rd gen(91') RS Camaro, 305 TBI. My tranny lost 2nd gear. It would've cost me well over a grand to have it fixed but I bought a rebuilt tranny for 800 and replaced it myself. Then 2 weeks later some dumbass tried to make a right hand turn from the left lane of a four lane road and turned right into me and totaled it. I was fucking pissed. I wanted to beat his ass but I couldnt open my door. Fender got pushed back and blocked the door and my fiancé wouldn't let me out of her side haha. What kind of car is it? And yeah patch it up and get rid of it and get something better. Since the driveshaft is broke than there's probably gonna be more problems down the road that are gonna be worse like blown head gasket. Common part to fail on lots of cars and depending on the car it can be a pain and costly. My jeep blew a head gasket. I got the head pulled off but never fixed it cuz I couldn't find a torque wrench so we just ended up selling it
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