Benzos Valium to Cope with Being Orally Abused and Slandered

[Michael_25]

I was in a psych clinic earlier to get my bag of meds. While I was being served at reception one of the younger guys behind be said "We just have to wait for this retard." This guy was with a friend. My doctors think that all this stuff I experience daily is merely auditory hallucinations or paranoid delusions. Hence the reason I''m on clozapine (400 mg). However, I heard this jerk distinctly. I didn't misconstrue anything. So I go home feeling like shit for being run down yet again. I then pop 80 mg of diazepam to alleviate my anger.

Such remarks are said to me daily, and it's hard to maintain a healthy outlook on life when you're constantly being put down by others. Every where I go, I hear people snicker at me, look at me condescendingly and basically treating me like a second-class citizen. The thing is I'm nice to everyone yet people still treat me like shit, so I use a lot of diazepam and oxycodone just to function like a "normal" person. I would feel bad to insult a complete stranger, yet this is what many people do to me. They don't even know me. The drugs make me somewhat immune to their oral insults. How can I get out of this hole. I feel that everyone thinks I'm beneath them and they treat me accordingly with contemptuous remarks. Often it's said quite quietly, other times, like in the example I gave you at the start of the post, they don't care whether I hear it.

 

[HaZeX]

Sorry man, no one should be treated like that. Talk about 8th grade b.s


I dont have any suggestions. Good luck though!

 

[Michael_25]

Sorry man, no one should be treated like that. Talk about 8th grade b.s


I dont have any suggestions. Good luck though!

Thanks. This shit has been going on for the past 3 years. And during these past 3 years, not ONE day has passed without me being orally abused or slandered. If this stuff didn't happen to me, I wouldn't have to resort to drugs such as diazepam and oxycodone. Who insults a person they don't even know, and has done NOTHING to them to provoke the abuse? This world is getting shittier by the day. I would NEVER abuse someone I don't even know. Seems to me that what goes around doesn't come back around.

It's like school-yard bullying, but I'm not back in school. But I thought that guys in their late 20s would know better. Guess not.

 

[SaosinEngaged]

I'm really sorry for what you've gone through and can certainly appreciate how difficult it must be. I highly, highly recommend you find a good therapist and put in some good quality time with them. Sometimes just being able to talk about your emotions without the perceived threat of judgement can do wonders for your state of mind. In addition, you may find alternative coping techniques so that you don't feel like you have to turn to drugs to get through these kinds of difficult situations. Not that I blame you, of course. But I know there are people out there who are willing and ready to help you make sense of your life, as long as you're receptive to it. They can arm you with the tools to disregard the jackasses of the world in a healthier manner.

Best of luck to you!

 

[zzz101]

hey bro,

a friend who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia has similar situations. I'm def not saying you could have it, i very doubt that. Just saying; because my friend can relate a lot to your post. He thinks people are talking about him all the time.

Dude; who cares what people think? EVERYONE wont like you, and everyone wont dislike you either. You can't have everyone like you anyway, that's just not possible (for anyone). Anyway that's not the point anyway.

The point is, just don't give a fuck. And that's what you should feel. So what if they say something about you? What makes their opinion so important to you? If they say shit like that I wouldn't even care if they liked me or not. Move on to something / someone else, and do what YOU FEEL is good or right.

Everyone has people they click with. everyone.. one day you'll see that.

I feel alone sometimes, but everyone does at points in their life. sometimes it's a good thing.

don't play an act. just try to remember not to even care, if people make fun of you - sucks to be them. they are gunna get real far in life with that.

do you own thing, don't give a fuck what people think, if they are thinking less of you than they are the one with the problem. not you.

 

[Michael_25]

I'm really sorry for what you've gone through and can certainly appreciate how difficult it must be. I highly, highly recommend you find a good therapist and put in some good quality time with them. Sometimes just being able to talk about your emotions without the perceived threat of judgement can do wonders for your state of mind. In addition, you may find alternative coping techniques so that you don't feel like you have to turn to drugs to get through these kinds of difficult situations. Not that I blame you, of course. But I know there are people out there who are willing and ready to help you make sense of your life, as long as you're receptive to it. They can arm you with the tools to disregard the jackasses of the world in a healthier manner.

Best of luck to you!

I've been seeing a psychologist for the past 4 weeks. No real "break through" has been achieved. But I persevere. It is still early days. Sometimes I feel like lashing out violently at my persecutors. It's become that bad.

 

[Michael_25]

hey bro,

a friend who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia has similar situations. I'm def not saying you could have it, i very doubt that. Just saying; because my friend can relate a lot to your post. He thinks people are talking about him all the time.

Dude; who cares what people think? EVERYONE wont like you, and everyone wont dislike you either. You can't have everyone like you anyway, that's just not possible (for anyone). Anyway that's not the point anyway.

The point is, just don't give a fuck. And that's what you should feel. So what if they say something about you? What makes their opinion so important to you? If they say shit like that I wouldn't even care if they liked me or not. Move on to something / someone else, and do what YOU FEEL is good or right.

Everyone has people they click with. everyone.. one day you'll see that.

I feel alone sometimes, but everyone does at points in their life. sometimes it's a good thing.

don't play an act. just try to remember not to even care, if people make fun of you - sucks to be them. they are gunna get real far in life with that.

do you own thing, don't give a fuck what people think, if they are thinking less of you than they are the one with the problem. not you.

You're right: not everyone will like me. But that does not give them the right to treat me with disdain. They don't even know me, yet they label me negatively. I'm pretty much isolated from society. I don't have any friends, girlfriend, etc. I live a life of solitude purely because I hate dealing with these prejudiced assholes day in, day out.

It's hard to "just don't give a fuck" when you face this prejudiced animosity every day. If they were one-offs, I could shake it off my shoulders. But they're not. This happens multiple times a day. I doubt there's a God. If there is, he has a warped sense of humor to let others be so downtrodden by others.
,

 

[tokenname]

do something positive.
help others.
volunteer. donate.
read up on the millions of people all over the
world who are persecuted, raped, tortured and killed daily
for reasons they have no control over.
it's important to keep perspective when
feeling victimized.
instead of turning to 'not giving
a fuck'..maybe you could try to turn your energy
into helping someone else who's being persecuted for
being themselves.

believing in something and helping other victims is the
absolute best way to keep 'them' from winning.

 

[Bruce Haze]

oh shit i thought you meant someone face-fucked you everyday and you take valium to get over it lol, but seriously fuck what other people say. fuck them it doesnt matter. if everyone in your city knew any one particular person I am positive that some of those people would talk shit about them. for some it happens more often than others, you just cant let it affect you.

 

[RobotRipping]

^i thought he was getting face fucked as well haha

seriously, just stand up for yourself. Next time call the guy out and say something to him. You may feel like shit either way but at least this way you are getting it out of your system. Don't take a bunch of abuse. I've had people say stupid shit to me too, especially in line ups and it feels better to just call them a nasty name and move on. I hate getting walked all over too and i take a lot of shit but everyone hits their limit eventually. Don't resort to physical violence though.

 

[zzz101]

Even the most happy people have things like this at stages in there life. Doesn't even matter though, if there is something you don't like, change it. change it fast.

Yeah I agree, it is hard to 'not give a fuck'. it's impossible. it's like asking a noob to ride a bike. person has to learn to not give a fuck. but any little thing can help towards that. and you get better and better at it, no matter how hard it is. because really, there words don't mean shit to you. it holds no value on you.

change your life style. quit your job and move somewhere else.

You will come up with many, many excuses not to change your lifestyle (i did). and even feel that the excuse(s) are important; when really it's not. unless you have kids though.. maybe.

 

[omik]

Try getting the hell out of Florida!

 

[tricomb]

^I don't think he should have to move or take diazepam to deal with this kind of thing.

@OP, this sucks, but unfortunately that's pretty much a part of day to day life, not just for you but for everyone. I promise, haters don't discriminate. This is absolutely no reason to justify diazepam, if everyone took benzos when shit like this happened, we'd be a blacked out nation.

You really shouldn't take it personally. You're obviously not a retard and they obviously don't know who you are, in their eyes, you are just a random person that they're messing with.
You know what OP? In general I hate most people too, I have a close group of friends and am in a relationship but I strongly dislike having to be around people like the guys you encountered in line. A lot of people are just trying to prove something to themselves or their friends. It's no reason to take drugs bro, you're so much better than that. This isn't slander either, by definition. You can either face the people who talk shit, or just ignore them. They're counting on you ignoring them, but certainly don't beat yourself up about it.

Don't completely isolate yourself, keep meeting new people, eventually you'll find people who you want to spend time with. Yeah they are hard to find, but it's so worth it to keep looking for new people to hangout with than to give up and live a life of solitude.

 

[Hiltoniano]

Maybe ask them what their problem is? If that's not an option, try to figure out what it is that makes people single you out to abuse. I know it's tough, but someone facing the abuse head on instead of using coping mechanisms can help solve the problem. Sounds very disheartening though. Keep your head up man! From what I have read of your posts you seem to be an intelligent, kind individual. Don't let some assholes ruin your life just because they don't like you. Live by your own rules. Stay strong.

 

[teological]

Look OP, this is the truth, if this happens EVERY SINGLE DAY like you have stated, it very much sounds like the psychosis I went through whilst I was heavily amped up and smoking weed by the truckload...I mean your stories sound exactly like what I went through. Go see a therapist that knows what the hell is going on...this can not happen everyday from different people.

Think about it logically, EVERY DAY, from DIFFERENT STRANGERS, just talking about YOU...and these experiences are in DIRECT RELATION to people who have or have experienced psychosis...it is highly possible that you are having auditory hallucinations. You could not be, I hope not, but it sounds like it is more possible than not...that is why you have to treat it and get to the bottom of the problem.

For now you have to be confident in yourself and just ignore people that say that to you. Also until you have got to the bottom of this, DO NOT confront people.

Feel free to PM me...

 

[macd610]

Bruce, I must admit that your post made me laugh my behind off... And I must thank you, as I need a good laugh today.

Michael, your situation is no laughing matter. I am so sorry that you feel so horribly about yourself due to other peoples' behavior.
It really is hard to just not care. I think you've gotten lots of good advice. I do wonder if there is a chance that some of this could be auditory though.
At some point, you're going to have to deal with whatever your real issues may be... I'm not saying that you are not trying. May I ask you this ...does your psychologist or psychiatrist know the truth about everything that's going on with you? I mean the whole truth in every area? 1 thing that I have learned is that nobody can help me if I am not totally honest with them. Being completely honest can be hard and very painful but I think it is honestly the only way you can expect to get any real results from therapy.
please feel free to PM me as well. Good luck.
Cat

 

[GABAking]

i'm sorry to hear that people around you are dicks. but then again, lotsa people are just assholes b/c they're discontent with their own lives. don't let it get to you.


and clozapine???? that's a serious antipsychotic right there! make sure you get your blood checked frequently

 

[tricomb]

Think about it logically, EVERY DAY, from DIFFERENT STRANGERS, just talking about YOU...and these experiences are in DIRECT RELATION to people who have or have experienced psychosis...it is highly possible that you are having auditory hallucinations. You could not be, I hope not, but it sounds like it is more possible than not...that is why you have to treat it and get to the bottom of the problem.

This is also possible, hallucinations/delusions can be very real, speaking from experience.

 

[ouchy]

I was in a psych clinic earlier to get my bag of meds. While I was being served at reception one of the younger guys behind be said "We just have to wait for this retard." This guy was with a friend. My doctors think that all this stuff I experience daily is merely auditory hallucinations or paranoid delusions. Hence the reason I''m on clozapine (400 mg). However, I heard this faggot distinctly. I didn't misconstrue anything. So I go home feeling like shit for being run down yet again. I then pop 80 mg of diazepam to alleviate my anger.

Michael, I am a caregiver to someone in your situation. Exactly your situation! I would like to offer some help.

If you find it reasonable, try to not weigh whether the voices are "real" to someone else. They are your real experience and you hear these people. There is no question that you hear them, so it is your burden to cope, detract and occupy.
It is natural to need anti-anxiety meds. You are hearing bad comments about yourself. It is going to make you have anxiety. Use your medicines as directed and don't feel bad about needing them to cope.
Here are two non-pharmaceutical ways to help cope with voices. Wear one ear plug at various times of the day (this help will not last forever, as weird as it sounds there is a tolerance built to it) and another good one is a reality check by yourself. Try "Stop and Name". Since doing this out loud in public would be embarrassing, do this mentally. When you hear a bad comment, start looking at objects around the room and name them. Do this until you feel centered again. Again, this is about feeling better regardless if voices are heard by anyone but you.
My last comment on this, is a medicinal one. You are hearing discernible words, and that should likely be addressed. You are on a pretty good dose of Clozapine (Clozaril), but if it isn't making you sleepy perhaps a little more would help with some comfort. The other drug that has recently been released (expensive as hell, but your doctor will probably have some samples) is Latuda. It shows promise. Ask your doctor about these.
Remember, this is not about what the people are saying. It is about focusing on better things and getting relief.

 

[Znegative]

I can relate, as so many people have treated me like a loser until they realize that I actually am good at something, which is a nice feeling at times, but I often wonder what my life would be like if it weren't able to draw really well. Either way, I still have used drugs to cope with my low self esteem, and in the end (with a few drugs being the exception), its only resulted in dependency and a worse self image.