Michael_25
Bluelighter
I was in a psych clinic earlier to get my bag of meds. While I was being served at reception one of the younger guys behind be said "We just have to wait for this retard." This guy was with a friend. My doctors think that all this stuff I experience daily is merely auditory hallucinations or paranoid delusions. Hence the reason I''m on clozapine (400 mg). However, I heard this jerk distinctly. I didn't misconstrue anything. So I go home feeling like shit for being run down yet again. I then pop 80 mg of diazepam to alleviate my anger.
Such remarks are said to me daily, and it's hard to maintain a healthy outlook on life when you're constantly being put down by others. Every where I go, I hear people snicker at me, look at me condescendingly and basically treating me like a second-class citizen. The thing is I'm nice to everyone yet people still treat me like shit, so I use a lot of diazepam and oxycodone just to function like a "normal" person. I would feel bad to insult a complete stranger, yet this is what many people do to me. They don't even know me. The drugs make me somewhat immune to their oral insults. How can I get out of this hole. I feel that everyone thinks I'm beneath them and they treat me accordingly with contemptuous remarks. Often it's said quite quietly, other times, like in the example I gave you at the start of the post, they don't care whether I hear it.
Such remarks are said to me daily, and it's hard to maintain a healthy outlook on life when you're constantly being put down by others. Every where I go, I hear people snicker at me, look at me condescendingly and basically treating me like a second-class citizen. The thing is I'm nice to everyone yet people still treat me like shit, so I use a lot of diazepam and oxycodone just to function like a "normal" person. I would feel bad to insult a complete stranger, yet this is what many people do to me. They don't even know me. The drugs make me somewhat immune to their oral insults. How can I get out of this hole. I feel that everyone thinks I'm beneath them and they treat me accordingly with contemptuous remarks. Often it's said quite quietly, other times, like in the example I gave you at the start of the post, they don't care whether I hear it.
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