vaginas. gotta love em, gotta hate em.

today was a major challenge. i have been in my new job for three weeks now and everything is going fine; minus one relationship with a colleague. im not the type of person that strives to be liked by everyone in social situations nor expects that; if anything i give myself a 20/80 ratio. if i can make two solid connections within my workplace (and the remainder being solely work-etiquette based), im very content; but sadly the one relationship i am struggling with the most is the one between myself and my manager (not the head boss). my first week on board the team we got on like a house on fire; but as soon as the head boss and myself began forming a strong bond and i was being praised for my work; the manager and i have not gotten along. she is used to ruling the roost and being solid with the head boss; and our co-workers being directed by them.

im a very self managed woman; who gives respect to authority, but doesnt need direction; moreso sees that something needs addressing/doing and will do it. this doesnt sit well with my manager at all. she loves having young graduates under her wing and them begging for her guidance. sadly i dont fall into that catagory; we are the same age.

she pulled me aside for the third time since being employed within the company to come down on me about procedure and personal issues. i listened as best as i could, although with it being the third time id been pulled up unnecessarily; i bit my tongue and waited for a moment where i could pull her aside personally and address it. her response spoke in volumes; and i hate that she feels threatened by me; as i wouldnt wish her job upon myself; let alone my worst enemy; but had to stand my ground all the same. i tried addressing her issues with compassion to have it only fuel the fire further and send her into an irrational rage.

it was then that i approached my boss to accept accountability for my behaviour and to also discuss hers. the senior boss appreciated that id tried addressing the issue first; and was honest enough to let me know that my manager has bought up several issues of unimportance relating to me (personal gripes; some as minor as me wearing my hair down and straightening it); to her. she reassured me that im doing a fantastic job and is just what the company needs; and adores my presence within the team. i wasnt looking for praise; moreso answers; so left her office feeling shittier than ever.

i dont want to be liked by my manager; but we do have to get along somewhat; and it seems that no matter to what proportions i adjust my attitude; she is not willing to budge on hers. i get that she doesnt like me; so fucking what? she doesnt have to; were colleagues, not friends. i just want to know when the shitstorm is going to be over so that i can comfortably get on with my job and not feel 50 knives in my back.

i hate these sorts of situations; and would just love to see resolution. i tried many times today to offer an olive branch to have it thrown back at me and shat on. hopefully time will heal this wound. god knows im trying my damnest for peace.

 

This situation hits very hard at home for me, as i have been there a few times. The fact she is even picking at you wearing your hair down and straightening it tells me she is threatened by you not just work wise, but with your looks as well.

It's times like this that i disagree with the theory that attractive people get things easier, or have things easier. That theory only applies to certain situations - but in situations like this being an attractive strong and intelligent woman can be your down fall, and you will basically feel like you're being fed to a pack of wolves.

Women like this like to try to make you second guess yourself, as then they will feel like they have one up on you again because it sounds like from day one they all felt that you have one up on them. Of which they are probably right too. This manager is simply oozing with jealousy babe. She hates the fact you get along so well with the big boss, she hates the fact you are so damn good at your job, she hates the fact you are married to a awesome and spunky man, she probably hates the fact you have a gorgeous little girl, and she would most definitely hate the fact you are so good looking, tall... full lipped. All of that would make her blood boil. Also with that damn brunette hair making you resemble Angelina Joli!

I feel for ya hun. It sounds like you are having to deal with a real misery guts who thrives on others feeling like shit. They can be some of the worst types.

 

How did she justify raising the issue of you hair? That's absolutely rubbish behaviour. Like Sandi, i've been in a very similar situation; an ex-boss even took issue with the fact that my bangles jangled at work... this was right after I was praised for my work on a project that she was also on. Up until then, she'd constantly stated that she loved the jangle of silver she could hear. These weren't big bangles, but 2 x thin Indian Silver bangles that were my great grandmothers... Women like this will attach on to anything to make a point.

I really hope the situation resolves soon.

PS: I am totally on the Angelina Jolie thing too - i've always thought you shared a strong resemblence.

 

thankyou so much for the support. to have it coming from you both means alot; and knowing you as intimately as i do; can relate to how this would affect you both big time also in a working environment. thank fuck that since this entry the sen boss spoke with the female team re: accepting new members of staff, staff conduct and all round team morale; forcing others to view their personal behaviours and adjust them accordingly (myself included) to suit the teams regime.

things appear to be on the mend now that my presence isnt so raw. thanks again for your loving words ladies. they truly meant alot.