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Opioids Using recreationaly again after detoxing?

johnloperamide said:
I think you may have misread, since it is SO easy to get it,(the click of a button) it is harder for me to stop because in my mind I know I can get it the next day... and it is legal, so don't have to worry about the cops
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Nah...taking puppy on a 7 mile hike is so much easier.

edit: if you start feeling like shite do 14, cause puppy wants to hike at least 21...
 
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Fire&Water said:
Nah...taking puppy on a 7 mile hike is so much easier.
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Ha! It took me a while to understand you answer, I thought you were being sarcastic and suggesting the exercise was a stupid idea, I even wrote a response being a complete asshole, now I see what you meant and yes, you are right, it is easier and better.. it ended up being a 5 miles though... This afternoon I forced myself to do 100 push ups and 100 squats while I had a fever so my legs were dead or I would have gone for a run instead of a walk with my dog, so tomorrow or the day after I'll start running like I have done my whole life....

I read a post by someone on here about the different stages of withdrawal and it really did scare me, plus I read a lot of other personal stories and I've sort of changed my mind... I don't think I will use next week... Weird how writing and reading about experience can help one so much
 
Do it ! Even puppy can see through the bull shite. Nothing better than a dog to steer you out of a
black forest.
 
Fire&Water said:
Maybe just read between the lines...
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Yeah you still keep on confusing the shit out of me with every thing you post, like you really are being a fucking asshole... Yes, I may use again next week or whatever but I am not developing a habit again just like I have not with hydro
 
Fire&Water said:
No, not trying to be anything...dont know how else to convey.
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Well then let me tell you that I TRULY do not know whether I will use next week or not... will I buy those seeds again, yeah I most probably will but I may wait longer than next week... I am having absolutely no anxiety or depression from quitting which I found very unusual so while I still crave getting high it is not accompanied by anxiety at least, making it much easier
 
See post #21


Look up
Look out
Look around

Like I said, even your puppy can show you
 
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Personally, after kicking a 3 year oxy habit I can't even get near the stuff without feeling sick. I will admit I've taken a lortab here and there, usually at music festivals or if I have to help my friend do a roof job, but that is more for increasing physical endurance and even then I don't take more than 5 mg at a time.

As was mentioned above, I often don't feel very well the next couple days if I take more than 15 mg hydro throughout the day. After experience a pretty nasty cold turkey withdrawal I never want to go through the full blown experience again.
 
Really? Oh man please don't, you sound like you could do so well! There has been a TON of good advice and feedback for you from other users on here! Very foolish move, I mean yeah you would be able to use here and there in life and not become an addict again, in about a year! Don't do it yet, yes very foolish!! I've had that mindset a few times, and you know what happened? Relapse! I love what someone said on here, you feel like you need a reward? Great! Go out to eat or to a movie, buy yourself a gift! That is actually something that I always thought helped with withdraw or quitting in general, spending that money on something more meaningful or something that will last a hell of a lot longer. Show yourself what you can do with all that cash you were spending on a bad habit. And exercise... yes yes yes! See, you are soooo on the right track, I would hate to see you lose out on an opportunity to live a clean healthy life by rewarding yourself for a job well done in the worst way. Only very headstrong people can use recreational after going through addiction, and even those it takes at least six months IMO. And most of those people don't even want to because of the memories of the hell they went through. Keep up the good work you have going on now, there are tons of other ways to celebrate! And it's true, every time you get hooked again that withdraw pain worsens. Stay on the track you are on and good luck!!
 
johnloperamide said:
Idk if I would consider myself an addict yet, I know I can be one but I still feel in control completely... This walk I just did made me see things differently and I'm looking forward to repeating it tomorrow so maybe I won't need the seeds if I can get hooked on running like I used to do for a long time... I however, will not buy seeds till I'm done with withdrawals 100%.. So I am said next week meaning monday or tuesday but if I am not 100% I will not do it.. maybe I never will again who the hell knows

Yes, I have made a lot of threads, it helps me to write it down and express myself, so thanks everyone for answering..

One question for you d1ahp.. I know you have used PST a lot before or maybe still so let me ask you, do you get depression and anxiety when you stop? I got all that a lot with hydro but none with this and I was surprised, I was fearing that a lot and I'm super glad it hasn't happened.. I'm being a rock mentally this time :).. just tired of the physical illness
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First couple of times I went through withdrawal, it seemed easy. But as I kept using and my mind became more and more dependant on artificial dopamine release, withdrawals became harder and harder to handle mentally. I can hold down a job, be a decent husband, friend and etc...as long as I have the seeds in me.

I've been an addict for almost a decade now. I went through hydros, oxys, and heroin. Methadone and Suboxone maintenance. I had 3 years of sobriety and one evening I threw it all away via PST. The older and more accustomed you become to using, the harder it is to stop.

Your posts remind me of myself when it comes to thought process. That's why I might come off as rude. I only wish someone got through to me when I was where you are at right now. For some reason, it's next to impossible to receive advice when you're young and invincible.
 
d1ahp said:
I had 3 years of sobriety and one evening I threw it all away via PST. The older and more accustomed you become to using, the harder it is to stop.

Your posts remind me of myself when it comes to thought process. That's why I might come off as rude. I only wish someone got through to me when I was where you are at right now. For some reason, it's next to impossible to receive advice when you're young and invincible.
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That's real! Some damn good advice and true statement... and I am on of the 'young and invincible' yet I couldn't agree more. It's like how I wish someone would have chocked the life out of me when I was caught with my first cigarette...
 
Psych_Major said:
That's real! Some damn good advice and true statement... and I am on of the 'young and invincible' yet I couldn't agree more. It's like how I wish someone would have chocked the life out of me when I was caught with my first cigarette...
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CMwsd.jpg
 
lol, I laughed just reading the title of this thread.

but.. I will give it to myself. I was once addicted to benzos and went through hell during withdrawal; that includes a seizure. since then, I have used benzos here and there but NEVER went back full time. reason being, I was once scripted, and used them along w/ my drug of choice, which is any/all opiates, esp heroin. so yea, I was able to do it w/ benzos but that was never really my problem, but a problem a picked up along the way.
 
Psych_Major said:
Really? Oh man please don't, you sound like you could do so well! There has been a TON of good advice and feedback for you from other users on here! Very foolish move, I mean yeah you would be able to use here and there in life and not become an addict again, in about a year! Don't do it yet, yes very foolish!! I've had that mindset a few times, and you know what happened? Relapse! I love what someone said on here, you feel like you need a reward? Great! Go out to eat or to a movie, buy yourself a gift! That is actually something that I always thought helped with withdraw or quitting in general, spending that money on something more meaningful or something that will last a hell of a lot longer. Show yourself what you can do with all that cash you were spending on a bad habit. And exercise... yes yes yes! See, you are soooo on the right track, I would hate to see you lose out on an opportunity to live a clean healthy life by rewarding yourself for a job well done in the worst way. Only very headstrong people can use recreational after going through addiction, and even those it takes at least six months IMO. And most of those people don't even want to because of the memories of the hell they went through. Keep up the good work you have going on now, there are tons of other ways to celebrate! And it's true, every time you get hooked again that withdraw pain worsens. Stay on the track you are on and good luck!!
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I understand what you and everyone is saying and how in my position no one listens and all but I just know I will not get physically dependent(note I don't use the word addicted) again, I just know that... I don't really see what happened to me as having become addicted but as having PLAYED with it longer than I really could, that is all... Now, I WILL admit that I was addicted 100% to Hydro, but not this, and maybe this is why I am not getting any of the mental aspects of quitting, depression and anxiety which I sure did with hydro....

4 months ago I started drinking Whiskey and coke and actually liked it and I would tell everyone, shit this is dangerous you can get drunk so fast it is ridiculous, I even did it a bunch of times during my break at work, I got crazy drunk in 20 min.... and everyone thought I had a problem till I realized I had PLAYED enough and I stopped.. I really did, I have no touch whiskey in maybe 2 and half months, I don't keep track, and I haven't even touched a beer in 5 weeks. Now I will admit that opiates have a lot more control over me while I simply hate alcohol, but I did enjoy my nights getting drunk a lot, it was a lot of fun and it would always give me something to do while now I just have to stay home...

I simply know I will not every become physically dependent to this crap, I simply refuse to go through this again.. If I do use next week which I am now thinking maybe the week after, I really haven't decided, whatever I will not become dependent on it again
 
I have felt that way before too and I was wrong. Hey some people can do that your correct to an extent. And it is also true that if you can do it and then wake up and be fine and not want to do it again the next day you won't have a physical dependence... some people really xan be weekend warriors, however most of them have never had an addiction. I would really like to see where this goes for you. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you are as safe as possible in whatever you chose to do.
 
I like to think we've all been there. I had 9 months of "sobriety" and I decided one day to just grab a gram of dope, thats all, a gram. well, that gram last 2 days, and I didnt used again for an entire week. then I grabbed another gram, cuz a gram a week will never hurt anybody, and its only 250-300/month tops, right? well, I grabbed another gram, but that one only last a day. 3 days later I grabbed another grab, which was gone in 5 hours. then another, and another, and another, and 3 years later, I was still going hard using 2G+ a day. you get the idea I am sure, so be fucking careful if you truly think that you can use recreationaly.
 
Hi J-lo, I guess you have to experiment for yourself, but I've noticed that a one day session fucks me up for about 4 days or more. I used to chip a lot but now the truth has set me free (except an occasional one day use that quickly reminds me that the trade off aint worth it. 1 great day for a few days of illness is bullshit. You might as well get drunk as fuck, at least you'll recover in a couple days.
 
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