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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Update on opiate journey..........

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Jake, i am really glad to hear that. :) You are 100% right--bein on it for a while dont mean you need to be on it your whole life. Some people be on it 6 mos, some a year, some a few years, but its different for everybody. The clinic i been to, and most ones that i know of actually suggest NOT doing less than 6 mos at the minimum.

Its there to help support you and get you stabilized and keep you off dope long enough for you to get the rest of your life in order. Its a terrible idea to jump off methadone BEFORE that happens.

The order to do it in is to get on the meth and try to get your dope and other drug abuse under control. thats step number one.

Once you got that shit outta the way and start to be stable start to feel normal again etc, THEN you can finally start to look at your life and yourself and start to work on figurin out the things that was causing you to use in the first place and really workin on yourself mentally to try to get your head straight. it takes time it may take a while, its OK. you gotta go at your own pace and you cant rush it or youll fall backwards. just one thing at a time.

Once you are SECURE in your sobriety and you aint just had a short run without dope but you actually got a SOLID FOUNDATION of clean time and really got your head on straight , got your issues resolved and shit like that...Once your life is in a calm, constant place, and there aint no chaos or crazy changes goin on.....Once you are really comfortable and startin to live a normal life again and got that normal life established and you are solidly in it, THEN you can start gettin off the shit if thats wat you wanna do.

All the doctors , clinics, etc that i ever talked to, always say that its a terrible idea to detox off ANY maintenance when your life aint stable. if you try and do it too fast or when your life is goin thru a period of intense change and lots of ups and downs, etc, its too risky and you more vulnerable to fallin back into the dope game. but if you do it when your shit is all nice and smooth and you finally got your strenth back, your discipline, your personalty, your SELF back....Then you are ready to start to taper down , you feel me?

Im so glad that you tryna come to terms with it and just tellin yourself that its OK to be on it for now. Becuz its just for now. It aint forever. Nobody is gonna make you stay on it. You can stop it, you can get off it, when you are ready, and when that time comes you can make that move, But for right now, you aint ready yet and its 100% ok to be on it until you get to that point. And nobody got the right to try to make you feel bad about it or pressure you or push you or influence you or rush you or w/ever to get off it, it aint nobodys bizness but your own and you deserve to be respected in your decision. Its really good to see you standin up for yourself too and recognizing that its OK to be where you are at , you are doin your best to start headin in a better direction and THATS the important thing so all the haters just tell them to fuck off becuz you are doing the thing thats right for you right now and thats all that counts. :)
 
Would someone mind summarizing what Lacey's argument is here?
Theres just to much text for me to read and I wanna make sure Jakes in good hands lol.

Is your main point that he should fix his life now and get off drugs later? Because if it is I'd like to respond to that.
But you wrote so much I have no idea if that was your main arguement or not.
 
dear jake, i have been an opiate addict for ten years i did the sub thing and detoxed off of them bc they gave me bad side effects and i thought i was cured well i wasnt not at all went right back to messing up i have been in the methadone clinic for almost a month now and it has absolutley 100 percent changed my life! i also fought with the idea for a whille well how will i get off of this and all of that but i came to realize that for me its like taking insulin if u r diabetic i dont think i will ever be that person that doesnt need maitenence and at this point i am totally okay with that. i dont care who knows i go to the clinic or what they think for me it has been a life savoir although at first my husband who doesnnt agree with the clinic threatened to leave me but i stood my ground and showed him that i wasnt trying to gett all messed up that i just wanted to b a normal person and not have that constant want want want need nneeed need u know and methatdone takes away all of my cravings and i prob will never come off of it annd that is completely fine with me. i no longer spend my days trying to find something not gettin out of bed if i cant etc... i just get my dose every morn and feel normal and i love that feeling...just thought i would share a little of my story with u best wishes to u:)
 
Thanks bo ,i want to go to a detox after finals next week but dont know where id go that would detox me off methadone and benzos for free.........................

It's not about making you feel worse.. <snip>. You need to realize that you're wasting everyone's time. You refuse to take our advice. Why even post if you're looking to just bitch and moan? Someone offered you more help than most of us have ever had the opportunity to make use of.. and you've already indicated your intention to turn the help down.. you don't want help, you want a pity party. Fuck that.
To phrostbyte , id appreciate it if you get out of here and stay out of my situation , you sound like a real jerk

You are a selfish dope fiend who only cares about yourself. You won't ask for help cause mommy and daddy will cut off your trust fund.
to Viillian same to you

I dont need you negative rude people insulting me , find someone else to put down ok . thanks
 
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Bo lacey is basically telling me that she is glad i accepted that its ok for me to be on methadone for awhile and that i wont have to be on it forever, just long enough to get my life in order..................
ANd hey lacey i dont know if you have looked at my other thread but theres 2 posters in there, Phrostbyte and Villian that are totally being jerks and basically just posting to insult me............Any suggestion how to handle that ? I dont think you have power to stop them from posting but thought id ask . thanks
 
Would they rather have you use the car once per day to go to a methadone clinic, or would they rather have you trade in your car for money to buy more heroin with?

Think logically; going to the methadone clinic is nothing to feel guilty about. Getting addicted to heroin in the first place is nothing to feel guilty about.

Just do what you can to stabilize yourself, get back on your feet. :)
 
i wanna go to a detox after classes end next week..............just cant find one i can afford, even with health insurance.................
 
Jake, I PM'd you.

The rest of you, chill out please! Jake really wants to be clean and have a job etc. Keep in mind that his bottom line isn't about the money really, it's typically about his father and that more than anything he wants to make that man happy and proud! Jake is up against a wall in a way with his father. The fact that he cares so much about his father is why I will take him into my home without even knowing him! He's a lost soul that happens to have an addiction to drugs. Give him some slack please :)

<3
 
This is so hard to stay in the middle of this because I agree with everyone in this thread both the polite and brash comments. On one hand I understand he needs support, on another hand all this 'support' has gotten him absolutely no where.

We have 15 pages of nonsense once again, like the last 20 threads, and still not a single sign of anything to demonstrate he REALLY wants to get clean. He tells people he wants to get clean, tells me, and I believe him, but not to the extent he wants me to. If that angers you Jake I'm sorry but its the truth.
I've managed to already cut my habit in HALF in 1 week why can't you even take yours down by 5%? You'll say "well its not as easy for everyone as it is for you" but thats bullshit. The actual part that is "hard" in this process is that final leap and staying off.

In fact, tapering is the easiest thing in the world which justified a lot of anger going on in this thread. What can't you deal with? Being a little tired? Not being high out of your mind? Is it really that difficult for you bro? Lets be real here I've prob had 2 whole hotflashes since dropping my dose, I don't enjoy feeling rundown/tired but it feels like I'm just running a bit sleep deprived. The point is its NOT A BIG DEAL. You can do it, but you refuse to even try. Logically look at this thread and ask yourself "where does Jake wanna go next"?
Are we back to using dope? Back to "trying" to taper off sub (which I'm still yet to see you even do once)? Back to what? Back to NOTHING is the point.

Getting clean requires action and behavoir, this thread has none of that. I'm happy you got on methadone, although I thought you would have started tapering the first day you got on. Instead they tried to raise your dose and you wound up staying somewhere in between expecting to be commended. Good for you for not going up to 80mg but WHAT THE FUCK, you keep telling us you want to get OFF DRUGS, why even let them raise your dose 1mg? Thats not action that is congruent with a person who wants to stop opiates.

Do you really not think this thread is a 'pity party'? Ok if its not that then why not explain to the forum what else it possibly could be. You consistenlty COMPLAIN about how you want to stop drugs, but you DON'T ACTUALLY TRY TO STOP EVER, isn't that the definition of a 'pity party'? I was shocked to see your threads go on for 6 months, now its likely close to 2 years and WTF?
Saying "I want to get clean but refuse to actually get clean" is like saying "I want to bang a female w/out putting my XXXX in her". So how do you plan on getting clean if still you're not doing anything about it?

How does Jake get off drugs? 2 ways
1) Detox/rehab
2) Taper

Can you tell me which one you've tried at this point so people can be more clear of the fact that Jake REALLY wants to get clean? No... so why do you brush people off who are clearly right?
"I called detox and I can't afford it"... ok well taper? You know how hard tapering is? You cut your pill a bit smaller than the day before.. its not magic, and you're still not trying to do it.

Lets look at the facts clearly. You now claim you can't do detox, so whats your claim about why you can't taper? Don't tell me how it makes you feel because you HAVE NOT TRIED. Your on methadone for christs sake it has the longest half life and is more stable than any opiate I know. Tell the clinic you want to drop/come off it. If you don't, and continue to post in this thread how you want to get clean, people are going to keep calling you on your shit and we are not going to keep turning a blindeye. You came for this forum for help so don't complain when you actually get it. 90% of this thread is irrelevant bs, not help. Its only the last 2 pages I see people actually trying to help you.

Now you can tell me why I'm an ass like everyone else, or you can tell me why you refuse to taper, your choice.
 
Let's at least give Jake some slack while he stabilises on methadone maintenance. It's a definite positive step.

I can understand the frustration of people who have posted in this 15 page epic but as of now, Jake seems to be doing the best thing to begin the process of recovery.

@Bo - after this whirlwind of back-and-forth, the best thing for Jake is stability. The best way to achieve that at the moment is through maintenance. Some people need at least a couple of months (if not years) of maintenance to give them stability while they work out their issues. Jake is definitely one of these people, in my opinion.
 
Bo wow you really are unbelieveable. When you taered to nothing , and then messed up and had to start over no one put you down so who are you to be telling others you are any better than them? First of all i dropped from 80 mg to 55 mg at the clinic so i am tapering...............Second of all i am looking into going into a detox after finals next week . so just lay off man . i dont want to hear it from you anymore. Find someone else to torture. You really are cruel and i for you to have so much anger at me over MY problem shows that something is wrong with YOU . Why dont you worry about yourself ? im not asking you for any help so just dont even come to the thread if it gets you that mad................ever hear of anger managment ? try it
 
<snip>
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Like I said this post is more accurate than 90% of the posts in this thread.
"I want to get clean but can't afford detox"
helpme says:
"Fly to my house, I'll PAY FOR YOUR TICKET, and detox here".

What does Jake do? Nothing! Never EVER do you do anything about this alleged desire to stop. Come back in this thread and address the facts like a man. People are not leaving, we're not being rude to you, you are the one who keeps asking to get clean but its almost like you don't realize that JAKE is the one who does that.

Really man this entire thread is a waste, your last 30 have been the same way, and people have more than a justified reason to be sick of it. Tell us right now why you refuse to lower your dose, didn't you already drop your methadone before? So WHY THE HELL can't you do it now?

Do something or do nothing, but this thread needs to end either way.
 
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Fly to my house, I'll PAY FOR YOUR TICKET, and detox here".
I am talking to her now about that, and planning it after my finals next week .......................................

Tell us right now why you refuse to lower your dose, didn't you already drop your methadone before? So WHY THE HELL can't you do it now?
I just lowered from 80 to 55 a week ago , when i see my counselor i can lower more..............You cant just walk in and take whatever dose you want. You have no idea how it works so just stop saying stupid things just to be a jerk
 
jake99 said:
Bo wow you really are unbelieveable. When you taered to nothing , and then messed up and had to start over no one put you down so who are you to be telling others you are any better than them? First of all i dropped from 80 mg to 55 mg at the clinic so i am tapering...............Second of all i am looking into going into a detox after finals next week . so just lay off man . i dont want to hear it from you anymore. Find someone else to torture. You really are cruel and i for you to have so much anger at me over MY problem shows that something is wrong with YOU . Why dont you worry about yourself ? im not asking you for any help so just dont even come to the thread if it gets you that mad................ever hear of anger managment ? try it
Click to expand...

Bro you are like a broken record this thread doesn't have a single g/damn thing to do with ME.
YOU MADE the fucking thread, like your last 20, and YOU are the one whos still not doing shit about it. "I made a phone call, I refused to go up to 80mg I'm trying I'm trying I really am". And if you're tapering why have you been at 55mg for how many weeks now? The clinic obviously is not tapering you and you OBVIOUSLY told them "I want to stay at 55mg".

And WTF with this "looking into detox", you KNOW insurance does NOT cover the entire cost, either you can afford a few hundred or you can't, what the hell are you "looking into"? I'm calling you on your shit and you keep coming back with these pathetic "you need anger management" posts. Great, I'd take anger management anyday of the week before making threads for 2 years about doing something I clearly don't want to do.

YOU put the methadone in your mouth, and YOU will be the same person who decides not to. I'm getting so sick of this bs man grow a pair and take control of your life back otherwise stop expecting some stork to fly to your house and do it for you. Its SIMPLE, do it or end this thread already wtf.
 
why don't you get a BLOG if you don't want people to post to you jake? you've been blogging on this forum for the past 2 years anyway
 
And why are you always saying "I'm looking into" or "I'm discussing" or "I'm planning"
You say that shit 1000 times a week wtf.
Especially when the things you are talking about require no planning but strict action/behavoir.

Theres NOTHING to look into. Either you can go to helpmes or you can't, what does it take
you 6 months to figure it out? So when school ends you'll all a sudden know whether you can?
BULLSHIT you are delaying, school will be over, tell your parents your taking a vaca, END OF STORY.

And don't tell me you need to see your counselor when clinics taper they taper, they don't keep you on one dose forever. You are clearly lying and we are clearly not leaving untill you do something that indicates you are not utterly FOS.
"I need 2 years of threads to figure out if I can go to detox"... all these sorry ass excuses are getting old. Again, public thread, we have the right to post same way you do.
 
jake99 said:
if bojangles hadn't met jake i wouldn't even believe he was a real person. the shit he says is so stupid i thought forever he was just trolling

What is so stupid ? You another hater on me ? wow , you guys really are terrible
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Comeon man how long do you really wanna live like this? I stopped talking to you because you're nothing but excuses. I have a ton of excuses too but still when I wanna get clean I DO IT.
When you wanna get clean you talk for 15 years about why you can't do it. Get clean so we can go to the beach one day and throw a football around, I'm being a dick cause you need help. Even the people other than me who are being cocks to you right now are the biggest friends you have in this forum.

They're calling you on your shit, you want help GET HELP.

edit: I figured this would happen. The second Jakes gets a dose of reality he leaves. It should be clear that noone ganged up on him,
we told him like it was and if he refuses to come back and post its only that much more apparent his intentions for getting clean.
 
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The tone of this thread is spiraling downward quickly.

There's a difference between 'tough love' and being insulting and judgmental.

We need to recognize that jake is going through a process, man. Its a slow process and filled with confusion and fear that no one knows better than him since he is living it (we are merely spectators that don't see the entire picture)

jake's story can be any one of our stories (either past, present or future), its real life shit that we can't control. Yes it can be frustrating at times to read but it is what it is. I don't see him whining or asking for pity and there is value to this thread if it releases some of the pain he is feeling and helps him get some perspective.

That perspective may not come when WE want it to come (which is what makes it frustrating) but decision time is fast approaching for jake. We can't rush the dude's process (however badly we want to)

Antagonistic, hateful posts are not welcome in this thread or anywhere else in TDS.
 
^That's true while i believe deep down this dude wants to stop but he seems to be more about the drama. Everything is a procrastination, an exuse some bullshit reason why action must be further delayed. Dude is acting like a fucking 16 year old and he's like 25 or something, then a few people give him a dose of reality, because you know, people are over seeing the bullshit additude and reading this journal type shit, and he starts acting like some victim?

Also as bojangles pointed out the dude is also completely full of shit with his posts and taking the piss if you ask me...(sorry american you wont understand that saying).

I feel for the dude i'm not blaming him, but he's obviously not taking people advice, it's getting old, he really is treating his persoal addiction journey thread as journal. Take it to the journal.....
 
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