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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Update on opiate journey..........

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got on free clinic today ! they start you at 30 mg and go up 5 a day until you are at 80 . and its free a whole year
 
^jake99
good stuff 80 mg is about right ime as it "blocks" the H and doesnt make you too sleeepy, im being a hypocrite but try to not use on top, its fairly pointless for getting high but does feed the monkey somewhat ime. good luck bro you gotta start at square 1 allways and then build it up for as long as you can(your "clean "time) +dont quit the program if you slip once (put it down to a bad day)
 
jake99 said:
hope so , its nuts , i think although i for sure have the phsyical addiction a good part of how sick i feel is mental..........because just knowing i have money or an opiate can make me feel way less sick, even before i actaully use it, and on other hand knowing i have no money or i am running out of opiates can make me feel wayyyyyyyyyyyy sicker, than if i just had no opiates but knew i had money to get more . anyone RElate ?
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hey jake. have you ever tried counseling in addition to your methadone treatment? perhaps you would benefit from talking things out with someone. sounds like you are somewhat ruled by your emotions. and i know what it's like to be where you are, so i wish you best of luck. the minute i had money in my pocket, i was out scoring. and if i didn't have anything to wake up on or go to sleep on, i was 98239483% more sicker than i probably really was. if you're on the methadone, your wd symptoms should subside if you are properly dosed. just keep believing in yourself and never give up... you're worth it!
 
jake99 said:
got on free clinic today ! they start you at 30 mg and go up 5 a day until you are at 80 . and its free a whole year
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Bro that is fucking awesome, seriously. Is it free because you have health insurance or free because they have a sliding door policy?

If its not health insurance thats covering it I'd really like to know where this place is, but if IS insurance then just forget about it.
I wouldn't mind going on methadone myself as I figure its much more stable and over the course of a year I don't think I'd have any issues doing a slow taper.

Either way man I'm psyched for you, thats really big news afaic.
 
Its in a.c. call me for details..................free , paid for by the state of new jersey John Brooks PIP program google it
 
Jake, glad to hear you are doing well.

Bo, did you relapse or did I miss something? I thought you were off pods again and then tapered off subs and just taking meds for the PAWS. Update please :)
 
Good to here - my only recommendation is to only goes as high as you need to. I know they'll rise you up to 80, but my personal advice is only go as high as you need to to feel solidly held. If you have been making it on like 25mg a day, I wouldn't go past 40 tops, I think you'll thank me in the long run..

If you start chasing a high with the methadone you will end up in a bad place.
 
well 80 is the average dose they bring you to and stop..................going up 5 mg a day until you reach it.............some ppl are on higher but they have to talk the doctor and say they still feel sick or maybe fail a urine test..............seems diff for everyone . my one friend is on 80 and she has stayed clean and feels good on that dose for awhile. my other friend, he is on 100 but says he doesnt even feel it after he been on a year and he still does Dope on top of it ............i just want to stay off dope and i dont think staying at 40 mg would do it . im on free for a year say i may as well try the 80 , see how i feel , and wheneve i want im sure they would let me start lowering it. im not chasing a high with it ............just want to feel good enough so i wont crave dope . im actuallly ok at 40 mg today
 
I would agree with villian, if 40mg is holding you stay at that dose. If 40mgs is holding you that's a good thing. What is the plan for your treatment up there? Did you talk to a counselor and figure out what your plan is. Are you planing on staying on it the full year? Did they mention anything about switching to bupe after a certain time period? Or just playing it by ear and trying to steer clear from h.

I really wonder what the rate of clients that start get off methadone in that year time frame. I almost hate to say it but most clinics are in it for the cash [whether it be state funding or from your pocket]. I wonder if in their business plan they account for maybe say 70% of users that get state funding for the first year will continue with meth and start to pay out of pocket because well frankly they have no other choice once the methadone is hooked into their life.

Be careful Jake methadone is way worse w/d than heroin. I was on methadone for 2 years and was doing good I guess. I was using occasionally near the end but than I said fuck this shit. I hated the fact that I had to go some where and drink a shot of 'water' to feel normal. If I didnt drink that shot, man oh man heroin was absolutely essential. It really sucked being a slave to that shit after awhile, after it stops working and you just feel well nothing.

I tapered down to 20mgs and than every mg from there on out sucked horribly and was an awful time. I was younger at the time [21] and I might be perceiving it worse than it was but I doubt it. Eventually I got to maybe 13-14mgs and just couldnt take it anymore. Treatment centers didnt want to take me and detox me off methadone [that has to tell you something] so I went back to shooting heroin and kept doing it till I was sure I was well past methadone w/d [a long time]. Eventually went into rehab and continued shooting dope for a long time.

I dont know just my experience with methadone. I dont really have anything positive to say about methadone. :\

peace.
seedless
 
well thats great. what about the fact that i wont be risking my freedom buying H in the ghetto and blowing all my money on it ?
 
The fact that you won't be in the ghetto spending money on dope is great man! <3

All we are saying is be careful..taking more methadone then you need is setting yourself up for failure in the long run -- 2 people who have already been through this process are just trying to help you out -- that's all this is bro.

best of luck man.
 
If you truly believe it's in your best interests to go on methadone and your not looking for a high, then go for it. But understand that whatever dose you're on even if it was 300mg , after a while you wont feel anything, you will just feel 'well' and not sick. And like has been said before it's fucking hard to get off. Subutex will hold you whatever your habit. I know people that injected 2 - 3 grams a day that were held fine by 8mg. If you really wanna stop buying H out of the ghetto, then you'll have much more of a chance on subs. I know you tried them before, but I promise you after a while methadone will be the same you wont feel it at all. I was on 70ml and used on top every single day. I was never ever stable on methadone for 2 years.

Do what you really feel deep down is right for you and you will be OK.

Stay safe and stay strong.
 
that really sucks.. i dont know. i just know i cant get by without some type of opiate , and id rather get methadone free,and hopefully at 80 mg it will kill the cravings for dope.................and again , it may be a pain to come off , but i have a year on it free, so if i make it a couple months on 80 , i could drop to 60 , then 55 then 40 over 8 months or so , that way id have plenty of time to drop without diong it too painfully............
 
jake99 said:
that really sucks.. i dont know. i just know i cant get by without some type of opiate , and id rather get methadone free,and hopefully at 80 mg it will kill the cravings for dope.................and again , it may be a pain to come off , but i have a year on it free, so if i make it a couple months on 80 , i could drop to 60 , then 55 then 40 over 8 months or so , that way id have plenty of time to drop without diong it too painfully............
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You might want to talk to the programme about making your goal methadone reduction from the outset so that they get you stable and then start tapering you early on. If you get too comfortable on a maintenance dose then you're going to find yourself back at square one towards the end of your year.
 
jake99 said:
that really sucks.. i dont know. i just know i cant get by without some type of opiate , and id rather get methadone free,and hopefully at 80 mg it will kill the cravings for dope.................and again , it may be a pain to come off , but i have a year on it free, so if i make it a couple months on 80 , i could drop to 60 , then 55 then 40 over 8 months or so , that way id have plenty of time to drop without diong it too painfully............
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It kills cravings for dope at 40mg doesn't it..? You said 40 and even 25mg held you. Of course 80 will hold you..

You are making a mistake going that high at all..I understand it is free but is that really a good reason to double your current dose, and triple your minimum effective dose?

I'm not going to tell you what to do, this is your life and you will live it however you want. What I will tell you though is your "inner addict" is trying to convince you 80mg of methadone is a good idea right now, and if you do go that high I can almost guarantee you'll go higher and you will NOT be getting off next year.. whatever though.

I also remember you getting on benzos for the sole purpose of kicking dope, and all you did was pick up a benzo habit.. on top of everything else.

I just hope you realize once you get up to 80mg after 2 months you will NOT be ready to cut down to 60 then off..you are lying to yourself if you think different
 
jake99 said:
well 80 is the average dose they bring you to and stop..................going up 5 mg a day until you reach it.............some ppl are on higher but they have to talk the doctor and say they still feel sick or maybe fail a urine test..............seems diff for everyone . my one friend is on 80 and she has stayed clean and feels good on that dose for awhile. my other friend, he is on 100 but says he doesnt even feel it after he been on a year and he still does Dope on top of it ............i just want to stay off dope and i dont think staying at 40 mg would do it . im on free for a year say i may as well try the 80 , see how i feel , and wheneve i want im sure they would let me start lowering it. im not chasing a high with it ............just want to feel good enough so i wont crave dope . im actuallly ok at 40 mg today
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that's awesome man! good luck to you!!! go for 80 but keep in mind, 40 is going to do the same thing for you. i'd only go that high if you think you're still going to try to do dope WHILE you're on methadone. i had a friend who was on 70mg and he was still doin lines like he needed them. he didn't, it was all in his head... and kinda pointless to keep trying to do dope while the receptors were saturated.

but anyway, you're gonna feel so good getting your life back while you stay off dope. from this point out, it's just all up to you. <3 :)
 
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MeddieFrac said:
Yeah I think that the mental part is the hardest. I have no energy at all, but when I am about to relapse and go get some oxy I get tons of energy and the mental withdrawal goes away completely.
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I noticed that too when I was taking oxy. To me it was "false energy" but felt great just the same. I've been told that lots of this is mental after getting through the initial withdrawals. I felt physicaly unwell for a long time and needed to sleep a lot. I guess the PAWS affects everyone differently.
 
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