Update on opiate journey..........

[SececaRD]

Lets leave Jake alone.

Jake just do the right thing.. you can do it buddy!!!!

DEMAND THEM TO LOWER YOUR DOSE.... they tied that shit with me....... I DEMANDED THEM TO LOWER IT.. and they did

 

[stuckinaloop]

I've been a heroin addict for almost 8 years now.. opiate withdrawal isn't nearly as bad as some sort of bad injury. Breaking my leg was a lot worse than withdrawing from heroin.. but thanks for talking shit about someone you know nothing about.

The worst part about jake's situation is that he supposedly didn't even use much... once or twice a week I read? That's nothing really.. surely no real reason to get on methadone in my opinion.. I've never been on methadone for more than a day but I've heard the withdrawal is very long and drawn out.. sure, not as strong as heroin withdrawal.. but made up for with its sheer length.

lol so if you've never been on methadone why even take the time to comment on here? all you have to add is here-say.

do you think jakes only problem is going through withdrawal?

how many times have you withdrawn over the past 8 years..or have you used 365 days a year every day for 8 years?

people go on methadone because they are severely MENTALLY addicted (not to mention physical). If it were just a matter of going through withdrawal "being a man bull shit" then like SWOOSH a switch flicks and your addiction is gone, then hell would you have used for 8 years straight?

methadone is an alternative to that, copping on the street (or however you do - illegally) for someone who is mentally just not ready to get clean, deal with withdrawal, paws, etc..

what would a quick detox from heroin do for you, being addicted for 8 years?? what do you think it would do for Jake..something magical? Use>unmanageble life>detox/mmt/bupe>relapse>use>unmanageablelife>detox/mmt/bupe>relapse - I think this is a pretty simple pattern most addicts follow.

So jake made the decision to maintain on Methadone..not everyone agrees with his choice but he does have a point. He's not mentally at a place in his life where he can deal with that lifecycle up ups and downs right now, hes about to graduate college

"be a man" is such a dumb comment - I dont think you can really defend the stupidity by telling us you have no experience with MMT, and youve been a straight ADDICT FOR 8 YEARS...and your telling jake to be a man, atleast he is being proactive.

Fuck I would take a broken leg over 8 years of hell, fucking open heart surgery, anything, if it would break one's disease of saddiction.

A quick detox, wtf will that do for someone who;s been battling this for years? Rapid detox?

You are all high and mighty because maybe you don;t have some dependance right now..bu where were you a few months ago? UNMANAGEBLE??? detoxing of heroin, again? after how many times? your a fucking man..soo masculine??

Also..methadone withdrawal, without a taper of some sort (after any significant length of time, is generally more severe in intensity AND obviously legth than heroin withdrawal.

Just like in Jakes case, they build you up to a dose slowly over time (so as to let your bdy to adjust..NOT GET HIGH-which if your getting high off your done something is wrong there). They build you to a blocking dose (usually starting at 80mg)..you come out with a monster tolerance. Many people get sucked into chasing a high and end up at a dose twice that. Which is worse than shooting a fucking brick a day (without a looong drawn out taper).

Jakes decisions? I think he's being a man (whatever the fuck that means?). Atleast he's not repeating the same mistake over and over like he was on suboxone. He got him self into a program structured with drug tests, one that pretty much a complete 180 degree switch from a doc talking to you for 10 minutes and sending you on your way with a months worth of your maintanance drug for you to use and abuse/divert/whatever it may be any way you'd like.

Telling someone to "be a man" when they are battling addiction, of any type, is such a joke.

 

[jake99]

i saw my counselor and made an appointment to sit down with him on monday . i am gong to tell him
1. I dont know if i can handle not being allowed to take my klonopin since my anxiety is real bad without it (there are a few ppl on low doses of k pin on the program although most of the time thy just give ppl b.s. lke Visteral for anxiety)
2. I want to have my dose lowered at least 2 mg a day so I am not stuck on the program for a log time..............
If he gives me a hard time , I am just going to either save my take home and use that to help kick plus the 60 tramadols i have.............or start going every other day to dose (you can miss a day and nothing happens, if you miss 2 days in a row then they cut your dose in half) , or just piss dirty for benzos so they are forced to medically detox me (they dont just throw you off , i think they will rapidly detox you though if you keep failing for benzos)
Of course my 2 friends on the program who helped me get on think i shuold stay on but one of them has been on 100 mg almost a year and he still is getting high and he is on probation , and the other one i think just wants me to stay on so she has a ride and wont have to take the bus every day in the cold winter

 

[hydrochron]

I think that's a great choice telling them you want to take your klonopin. I would go from there and not get ahead of your self, that might help you out a shit load. Just dont plan on those tramadols helping you from methadone withdrawal haha, you'll definently relapse if you have to quit that stuff.

I would aim to taper down, then level out at a smallish dose like 40mg's a day.

 

[jake99]

i just have a feeling the are gonna try to tell me to not taper since i just got on the program...............................

 

[Lolie]

i just have a feeling the are gonna try to tell me to not taper since i just got on the program...............................

They're definitely going to tell you not to try and taper off methadone by using H! Read your OD thread - does that plan seriously seem like a good idea to you?

 

[jake99]

i meant cuonselors are gonna tell me they dont want to lower the methadone dose

 

[bagochina]

Yeah your probably right Jake but that does not matter. You tell them what you want to do and how you want to taper.

So your thinking of tapering? You have been on for what 3 weeks? Plus the couple weeks you were getting it from a friend. 80mg's and you want to be getting off in a month or so when you get your degree and than possibly check into a detox if it doesn't go as planned at home? Sounds like a great plan, imo. Your body wont be completely strung out on 'done so the w/d's might not be too bad. The good thing is you could always go back on methadone again if things take a turn for the worst.

Are you still wanting to use dope, thoughts of scoring, etc.? I know you mentioned getting a few buns to taper off. I would try to disregard that idea completely and focus on a 30 day treatment center. Sometimes just being in a rehab helps ALOT in terms of staying clean, even if it sucks. Getting those first 30 days under your belt in a safe environment is a HUGE help at least it was for me. When I was using heavy I could never string more than like 2, tops 3 days clean in my house. I dont know just rambling. Sometimes even the best laid plans fall prey. Good luck I definitely think it is a smart idea to get off now that would give you almost 2 months on methadone with no heroin. That is a massive start.

peace.
seedless

 

[jake99]

if i talk to the counselor monday and he wont let me taper off i dont know , then i may just start missing days and pissing dirty so they have to detox me...............i thought about getttin a bun just to save my take home tmrw and have that in case i need todetox myelf

 

[phactor]

^^^

You will use that bundle though... at some point. Not trying to be an ass but that "just in case" will become a "I must use because of "insert rationalization".

 

[Lolie]

if i talk to the counselor monday and he wont let me taper off i dont know , then i may just start missing days and pissing dirty so they have to detox me...............i thought about getttin a bun just to save my take home tmrw and have that in case i need todetox myelf

I find it odd that it's H you're planning to cop off the street "just in case" rather than methadone or suboxone. I think your mind is playing tricks on you here and giving you a rationalisation for using H. That's pretty normal but it concerns me that you don't see your sudden urge to drop your methadone dosage and use H as your back up drug as potential relapse. Your past attempts to taper yourself quickly have come unstuck and you haven't posted anything which suggests that you're in a better position to succeed at it now.

 

[jake99]

no what im saying is that if i just stopped going to the clinic because they didnt let me drop my dose and taper off, i would have to get some dope to get thru the methadone sickness................theres no way i could do it cold turkey..........
but honestly if they try to convince me not to lower my dose and stay at 80 mg (which everyone says they are going to do) , i may just start skipping days , and failing urines so they have to "administrativly detox" me which wouldnt even be that bad after only being on a month..........i heard they drop you 5 mg every other day. That way by the time i finish school in a month i could be down to about no more methadone and if i had to go to a detox after that at least id have my college degree.

 

[Lolie]

^^^

I think that even an administrative detox would be better for you at this point than using dope to cope with the methadone withdrawals and then having to face dope withdrawals again. It's not ideal, but at least it wouldn't involve having to find the money to cop on the street and the risk of being caught when you're so close to finishing your degree.

 

[stuckinaloop]

no what im saying is that if i just stopped going to the clinic because they didnt let me drop my dose and taper off, i would have to get some dope to get thru the methadone sickness................theres no way i could do it cold turkey..........
but honestly if they try to convince me not to lower my dose and stay at 80 mg (which everyone says they are going to do) , i may just start skipping days , and failing urines so they have to "administrativly detox" me which wouldnt even be that bad after only being on a month..........i heard they drop you 5 mg every other day. That way by the time i finish school in a month i could be down to about no more methadone and if i had to go to a detox after that at least id have my college degree.

even though your on 80mg its only been 3 weeks.

if they drop you why not just switch to subs and do a quick taper? you aren't going to have the methadone hell people speak of after just 3 weeks.

but honestly nj state law I dont think they can just drop you no matter what (someone correct me if im wrong).

at the clinic i went to the worst that could happen was a 5mg per day detox (which is HEAVY if youve been on it for a long time).

but for only 3 weeks thatd be pleasant
--------------------


buying a bundle for a just incase is just your brains way of telling you you want to get high lol. honestly you have been talking about risking getting arrested etc.. why not have some bupe for just incase?

 

[jake99]

Well i will talk to my counselor monday ,if he doesnt let me detox over the next month , then i am going to start dosing every other day or miss 2 days and then they cut yuour dose in half....
plus i have 20 soma, 50 klonopin, and 60 tramadol to help if i have to do it alone , and my take home bottle of 80 mg from tody

 

[Foul Play]

Jake - What are your plans after you get off the methadone, and the little stash you've got? Are you planning on staying clean? Have you set a goal on the total taper time?

 

[jake99]

i wanna be off metadone in a few months at least..........im def gona tell them to drop my dose. i dont need 80 mg. id be ok with 40 or 50 ..............

 

[jake99]

thing that sucks is that my friend who helped me get on the program keeps thinking i shuold stay on longer and just go on a lower dose since 80 mg has me nodding..............but she doesnt think i shuld try to get off in the next month or so . she thinks methadone is a great thing since it works for her , but she has been on and off it for years, so i dont see how it really has helped her since she is 29 has no job , owes lots of child suport , doesnt have her own place , etc............i dont know i see my counselor tomorow , he can agree to lower my dose but id still have to wait to see the dr. which can take a week or 2 .so i may just dose the 80 mg tmrw, tuesday take the 40 or so i have left from yestedays take home, skip wenesday , then when i go back thursday they will have to cut me in half for missing 2 days , then they make u see the dr. i think to decide what dose u need to be on .........but if i really wanna get an admnistrative detox i can just start pissing dirty , or skipping group on saturday,,,,,,,,,,i just dont know what right thing todo is. i do have money i just got , so i know if i was sick and went off program id be gettin dope , but from what i hear itts better to have a dope habit then a methadone one , as far as the withdrawals go , either way i just wanna make it til school ends in a month

 

[Lolie]

I honestly think you'd be better off staying on the methadone programme until school ends even if you do force them to cut your dose. Tell them you're nodding at 80 and need your dose lowered so you can focus on the last month of college. What good can come of you copping on the street at this point, either financially or in terms of risking getting caught?

Get through this last month of school and then decide whether you want to do rehab, subs, stay on methadone or whatever. I really think that changing what is working in the next month is just asking for trouble.

 

[jake99]

i hear you . i talked to counselor today and i'm going down to 60 mg.........................