Lolie
Bluelighter
Pleased to hear it.
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Update on opiate journey..........
- Thread starter jake99
- Start date
- Status
Pleased to hear it.
Lolie
Bluelighter
I don't see why not if you're handling the drop to 60 mg, but I also don't think there's any huge disadvantage to waiting the month until you're finished college before tapering further. It's probably best not to change your plan every few days though.
i just hate driving a half hour each way there every morning.....................now i find out i may be 1 general ed class short of graduating next month because the stupid advisors told me to take a business class im taking now that i didnt even need. great....................the thing i hate most about this whole clinic thing is hiding it from my family , and the worry about not being able to be on my klonopin and it messing up my random urines.........plus knowing the longer im on methadone the harder it will be to get off when i do
Bojangles69
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 20, 2009
- Messages
- 1,758
Bro seriously so many people say methadones a bitch to get off but those same people seem to be forgetting how easily methadone can be replaced with a short acting opiate. At this point I wouldn't worry at all about being on methadone, its far better than dope and if its that difficult to stop just jump on a short acting opiate like hydro for a few months.
My point being as long as your history is you're not really making wds easier no matter what you do. Whats going to make them easy is the specific method you use for stopping, not the opiate itself. And because dope is your real DOC obviously just stay away from that shit no matter what.
As far as driving to get the methadone yeh that sucks, but if you do the math what was it like 2 hours driving for dope every few days untill you ran out? Compared to 1 hour everyday for methadone? So its really only like an extra hour or 2 of driving in the end, I know its annoying though that would drive me crazy too.
As far as school though that changes A LOT of shit bro.
And you have to see what this is going to do to your life. I was suppose to graduate last semester AND the semester before that but I had the same issues with counselors who couldn't read my academic audit and were recommending credits I didn't need. Counselors are straight fucking retarded I have no idea how they make mistakes like this when they do that crap everyday. But I actually got told to leave an office for cursing off my last counselor and she knew damn well she fucked up. That pisses me off like nothing else.
Anyway, that 1 class is going to wind up equaling another 6 months on opiates. And you should really consider wtf you plan on doing about that. I'm not waiting to graduate to stop, I'm waiting till I'm ready to stop to stop. I really think you need to stop setting dates because dates ALWAYS get pushed back when it comes to getting off opiates. This is something I and everyone else in this forum can attest to, and I'm sure even yourself.
But what is your plan now? Stop opiates in the summer? Does the free clinic pass even last that long? Maybe you should seriously just start now bro?
If you don't wanna stop opiates thats fine but I think you need to admit it to yourself.
I think you're in the same mental spot I am where I want to quit using, its just never today though. And because its never today, I can't really tell myself I want to stop. You just need to understand that addicts to exactly what you're doing now their ENTIRE LIVES.
Its the same thing with smoking too, "I want to stop but not today". I say that shit every morning I wake up and actually believe I want to stop... cause I do... but I really don't cause if I did I would have fucking stopped 10 years ago when I started.
You really need to make a decision and live by it. Same exact thing I'm working on now myself.
Opiate have become your #1 coping mechanism for life. And thats all the opiates are doing right now is distracting you from reality. I also want you to know EVERYthing I'm saying to you right now is shit I say to myself everyday. Once the drugs are removed you're likely just going to activate another coping mechanism.. which could be depression for all I know, maybe it'll be work who knows.
But if you don't find something you are passionate about in life you're going to have a near impossible time ever getting off the shit. I know you're in culinary arts and I think you want to be a chef but is that something you are genuinely passionate about doing? Because once opiates are gone whats left is life... and life is the same thing that drove both me & you and everyone else in this world to drugs in the first place. I never see you talk about food, or opening your own restaraunt, or really ANYthing that conveys any sort of passion for something other than drugs.
And what makes it harder is to have passion about something and be on drugs in the first place.
Also, most importantly. People always say on this forum "you won't get clean till you want it" and thats complete utter bullshit. No matter what kind of rock bottom you hit, you're never just gonna wake up one day and think "wow today I really have 0 drive to use". The farther way you are from sobriety in general, the less likely it is that you will be ambitious towards stopping. And its the same way the other way around. The CLOSER you get to being sober, the MORE you can taste it, the MORE you will genuinely want it, the MORE you realize how little drugs were serving you in the first place.
If you started tapering the methadone 1mg every week you would NOT feel the slighest degree of discomfort, and you'd be off in something like 6-8 months (not even sure what dose you're on now) and thats what I really think would wind up being the most painless way of stopping. Whats going to happen next summer now cause you said you wanted to wait after school? Summers gonna come and your family is going to be expecting you to find a career. I don't think you're going to stop in 2-3 weeks and just go straight to working, it doesn't sound realistic.
I just think you need to approach this from a different angle (same exact way I need to). Focus on what it is you want from life and something you could actually see yourself being passionate about. You like women right? lol. Start working out, get a bike and go for rides. Figure out what career you can see yourself doing your whole life and LIKING. Is being a chef that career? I'm not even 100% sure at this point if psychology is what I'm most passionate about and I think that has a lot to do with why I'm still stuck in this addiction. But the point is you can not just take a coping mechanism away from someone w/out giving them a more functional coping mechanism first.
Once the drugs are gone what do you have to help you wake up every morning? What is there for you to look forward to? If you can't see those things now no wonder you're having trouble stopping. These are things I'm trying to sort out myself now but I can't tell myself "I'm gonna stop when school ends". Because the second I graduate and am walking off that stage with my diploma I'm definitely going to wanna celebrate and reward myself. And a week later I'm gonna have a new excuse not to stop.
I don't know bro but I do tend to believe in order to get off drugs, you first need to figure out why your life sucked so bad to start drugs in the first place. And untill you fix those things the drugs will not leave the picture. I'm more or less ranting now but I'm gonna have to give you a call sometime this weekend so we can discuss this shit.
My point being as long as your history is you're not really making wds easier no matter what you do. Whats going to make them easy is the specific method you use for stopping, not the opiate itself. And because dope is your real DOC obviously just stay away from that shit no matter what.
As far as driving to get the methadone yeh that sucks, but if you do the math what was it like 2 hours driving for dope every few days untill you ran out? Compared to 1 hour everyday for methadone? So its really only like an extra hour or 2 of driving in the end, I know its annoying though that would drive me crazy too.
As far as school though that changes A LOT of shit bro.
And you have to see what this is going to do to your life. I was suppose to graduate last semester AND the semester before that but I had the same issues with counselors who couldn't read my academic audit and were recommending credits I didn't need. Counselors are straight fucking retarded I have no idea how they make mistakes like this when they do that crap everyday. But I actually got told to leave an office for cursing off my last counselor and she knew damn well she fucked up. That pisses me off like nothing else.
Anyway, that 1 class is going to wind up equaling another 6 months on opiates. And you should really consider wtf you plan on doing about that. I'm not waiting to graduate to stop, I'm waiting till I'm ready to stop to stop. I really think you need to stop setting dates because dates ALWAYS get pushed back when it comes to getting off opiates. This is something I and everyone else in this forum can attest to, and I'm sure even yourself.
But what is your plan now? Stop opiates in the summer? Does the free clinic pass even last that long? Maybe you should seriously just start now bro?
If you don't wanna stop opiates thats fine but I think you need to admit it to yourself.
I think you're in the same mental spot I am where I want to quit using, its just never today though. And because its never today, I can't really tell myself I want to stop. You just need to understand that addicts to exactly what you're doing now their ENTIRE LIVES.
Its the same thing with smoking too, "I want to stop but not today". I say that shit every morning I wake up and actually believe I want to stop... cause I do... but I really don't cause if I did I would have fucking stopped 10 years ago when I started.
You really need to make a decision and live by it. Same exact thing I'm working on now myself.
Opiate have become your #1 coping mechanism for life. And thats all the opiates are doing right now is distracting you from reality. I also want you to know EVERYthing I'm saying to you right now is shit I say to myself everyday. Once the drugs are removed you're likely just going to activate another coping mechanism.. which could be depression for all I know, maybe it'll be work who knows.
But if you don't find something you are passionate about in life you're going to have a near impossible time ever getting off the shit. I know you're in culinary arts and I think you want to be a chef but is that something you are genuinely passionate about doing? Because once opiates are gone whats left is life... and life is the same thing that drove both me & you and everyone else in this world to drugs in the first place. I never see you talk about food, or opening your own restaraunt, or really ANYthing that conveys any sort of passion for something other than drugs.
And what makes it harder is to have passion about something and be on drugs in the first place.
Also, most importantly. People always say on this forum "you won't get clean till you want it" and thats complete utter bullshit. No matter what kind of rock bottom you hit, you're never just gonna wake up one day and think "wow today I really have 0 drive to use". The farther way you are from sobriety in general, the less likely it is that you will be ambitious towards stopping. And its the same way the other way around. The CLOSER you get to being sober, the MORE you can taste it, the MORE you will genuinely want it, the MORE you realize how little drugs were serving you in the first place.
If you started tapering the methadone 1mg every week you would NOT feel the slighest degree of discomfort, and you'd be off in something like 6-8 months (not even sure what dose you're on now) and thats what I really think would wind up being the most painless way of stopping. Whats going to happen next summer now cause you said you wanted to wait after school? Summers gonna come and your family is going to be expecting you to find a career. I don't think you're going to stop in 2-3 weeks and just go straight to working, it doesn't sound realistic.
I just think you need to approach this from a different angle (same exact way I need to). Focus on what it is you want from life and something you could actually see yourself being passionate about. You like women right? lol. Start working out, get a bike and go for rides. Figure out what career you can see yourself doing your whole life and LIKING. Is being a chef that career? I'm not even 100% sure at this point if psychology is what I'm most passionate about and I think that has a lot to do with why I'm still stuck in this addiction. But the point is you can not just take a coping mechanism away from someone w/out giving them a more functional coping mechanism first.
Once the drugs are gone what do you have to help you wake up every morning? What is there for you to look forward to? If you can't see those things now no wonder you're having trouble stopping. These are things I'm trying to sort out myself now but I can't tell myself "I'm gonna stop when school ends". Because the second I graduate and am walking off that stage with my diploma I'm definitely going to wanna celebrate and reward myself. And a week later I'm gonna have a new excuse not to stop.
I don't know bro but I do tend to believe in order to get off drugs, you first need to figure out why your life sucked so bad to start drugs in the first place. And untill you fix those things the drugs will not leave the picture. I'm more or less ranting now but I'm gonna have to give you a call sometime this weekend so we can discuss this shit.
hydrochron
Bluelighter
^He's right I wouldn't worry about being addicted to methadone either after everything you've been through. Give your self a break.
I'm wondering though, if you stop taking methadone, then what's your plan? It doesn't seem like you have a plan besides finishing school, which is good. But you should really get a plan before you make a move.
I'm wondering though, if you stop taking methadone, then what's your plan? It doesn't seem like you have a plan besides finishing school, which is good. But you should really get a plan before you make a move.
I hope I am not out of line, I am seeking help. I am considering asking my dr about going on methadone for a pain management med. Is it effective for pain analgesia, or is it more of an opiate "blocker". I have been on just about every opiate, and esp now I am constantly switching from one to another(since the oc's were changed). I have a really bad back, and I am disabled because of it, so I am just desperately seeking something to give me back a quality of life. I have heard from fellow bl'ers that this is the most informative forum as far as opiates, and also very supportive(not filled with righteous assholes and such). I am becoming rather desperate. I am currently on Opana(drug of the month), and not finding great relief from it. I am also sorry if this is the wrong forum to be asking these questions, but I haven't had any luck in many other forums, and have also run into people just concerned with getting high, which is not my goal. I have tried many drugs, and oxycodone seems to agree with me the best as far as analgesia and low amount of side effects, it lets me live a fairly normal life. I still get roxis for bt pain, but far too few. I told my doc at this point I would prefer just all roxis, but I believe he is hesitant due to the # I would need, and he kind of insists on an er med to go w bt meds. He is also not keen on the patch, I have tried mscontin and that was not very good for me. So, I am running out of possibilities and considering methadone. But I have also heard w methadone you will not really feel bt meds, is this true? Sorry if I got this thread off topic, I am new and hoping to become a part of a community that is helpful and considerate. If I am in the wrong place I apologize, just let me know and I wont bother you again. Thank you.
Bo i have a lot of things i wanna say to reply to your post , im goin to get to it tomorow ..................The whole thing i keep thinking to myself is , "the only reason im going to this clinic is it is free and legal" and heroin is expensive and illegal, while part of me want to beleve i am going to recover i dont know if that is true..........I did lower my dose to 60 mg because 80 mg had me nodding but i also wanted to not be on a "blocking " dose so i could still get high on other opiates. I think what i really need is to go away somewhere and just kick.................all this tapering gets me nowhere..............So only good plan i can think of is to finish this one more month in school by staying on the methadone , taper as much as i can , then go kick somewhere when school is over..............(but i also keep thinkin i have money and a safe way to get dope so since dope withdrawals arent as bad as meth , maybe i shuld just get off the meth and bak on dope lol)
anyone know where id be able to go to detox for free in jersey ? once i can get my meth dose down to 20-30 mg and finish this school semester i plan on kicking............but last time i tried to go to hospital to their detox , since i have health insurance they wouldnt take me and wanted to send me to a regular rehab which would still cost a lot even with my good insurance. my friend kicked at a recovery house in philly but they do it cold turkey..........
cj
Bluelight Crew
I may not be the best solution but if you tell the hospital your suicidal they will be forced to admit you and detox you. I did this the last time I kicked smack and it worked quite well I told them the dope made me suicidal they said it happens alot. I was released after 5 days 12000 dollars in debt but dope free. I ended up negotiating it down to 2000 dollars it was soo expensive because I didnt have insurance. Since you have good insurance it will be alot cheaper then rehab and hospitals do a good detox in my experirnce. I got like 8 different pills every 6 hours the main ones where darvocet and ativan. I made froiends with a guy coming off 100mg of done and was getting tordal shots every 12 hours plus benzos plus a bunch of muscle relaxers.
Edit I knew it would be controversial but it is an effective way to get into detox if your desperate.
Edit I knew it would be controversial but it is an effective way to get into detox if your desperate.
Last edited:
hydrochron
Bluelighter
^I think that's a terrible idea. Jake you should just switch to suboxone and take the time to actually taper so you can be done if you want to be done with this shit.
Another option, have you considered moving? It sounds like you have way to much access to opiates where you are. When you get clean it's going to be a problem. You just need to cut your self off.
Another option, have you considered moving? It sounds like you have way to much access to opiates where you are. When you get clean it's going to be a problem. You just need to cut your self off.
Lolie
Bluelighter
Assuming that you can find a detox, then what? Nothing you've posted suggests that your life is set up in a way which would support you staying clean. What would you have in place to get you through the urges to use and to help you form new habits?
Bojangles69
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 20, 2009
- Messages
- 1,758
I for one will say I think detox is a good idea. Jake does not stand a chance tapering off suboxone or methadone, its not happening and we've already beat the tapering topic beyond death here.
Lolies advice implies that Jake waits untill his life is together enough so he doesn't relapse, which is good advice, but I still would never recommend delaying a detox just for those reasons. Just by being on dope he's going to think his life is more messed up than it is. And just by being on dope he's going to be missing a HUGE degree of motivation to do things that could keep him off dope... like going to na/exercise/etc.
Its so much more difficult to do those things when you're in active use.
I went to detox last time not ready but when I got out I felt like a new man in only 13 days. I instantly started going to the gym and loved it, started reading again and learning things, I just had motivation to do so many new things that I never wanted to do when I was using. Its not that any real psychological changes happened, it was merely because I was off drugs and that alone gave me a TON of motivation.
The main part where I fucked up was after detox I never went to rehab or na. Although I was doing everything else right, and I would randomly pop into a meeting everyone and a while, I didn't take it seriously at all. I DID take my life seriously, and my life was improving. But once I reached that point where I thought I was "cool" (as in cool to control my use) there was no NA to stop me from trying.
Thats why I honestly don't believe you need to get everything fixed before going to detox.
Once you get off those drugs no its not going to be all peaches and cream but you WILL find a large degree of motivation you never had before. Cause like I said just being off the shit is such a liberating thing to know about yourself.
And when the alternative choice is waiting for Jake to get his life together.... we could be waiting here for the next 50 years. Sure once you rid the drugs other problems will surface, but I still think just because he's on drugs its going to be near impossible to start becoming "prorecovery" or setting his life up to support him staying clean when he is STILL USING.
And seriously, who ACTUALLY starts to set their life up the right way when they're still getting high? I just don't think a lot of people do this. You might make a few minor changes right before you decide to stop, but I'm not sure thats how the general formula works.
The formula in my mind goes like this:
1) Jake goes to detox regardless of the condition of his life and detoxes off drugs.
2) Now that Jake doesn't have to worry about HOW to get off drugs, AND how to STAY
off them at the same time, it will be much easier to just focus on the latter.
3) Jake focuses on the latter lol.
But seriously theres no need to make this difficult.
The MOST IMPORTANT thing is when you are finally OFF drugs, you MUST in someway make recovery a part of your temporary life. You don't need to focus on it for the next 10 years.
But when I left detox last time I had told at least 10 different social workers/drs I didn't need
their aftercare program. And all that program does is ensure that you go to either NA consistently or a shortterm rehab.
That was my mistake and I knew I was fucking up then when I made that decision, I think I honestly just wanted to see how far I could make it by myself to judge how bad my own addiction really was.
But Jake, once you get clean bro you don't have to work every single one of the 12 steps, but you need SOMEWHERE TO GO where you can analyze your life and talk about your problems.
I really think its just important that you talk about your problems and the reason why is simple.
In those 14 months I was NOT talking about any of my problems and I also didn't even feel like I had any severe problems in the first place. But thats the thing. The longer you go w/out focusing on them, the easier it is to convince yourself you don't even have them. By not focusing on my addiction, at the time 14 months had passed I was telling myself "oh you can get high just once stop being such a square... you're NOT going to addicted to this shit again and you KNOW THAT.. you'd have to be a TOTAL FVCKN MORON to get addicted twice".
And I am that moron cause it happened again.
Thats why once I do stop first thing I'm doing is going straight to NA.
I realize I can go right now, which would definitely motivate me even faster to want to stop opiates soon... but I feel like the getting off part is something **I** have to do by myself.
Because I feel like part of the reason I haven't started yet, is because I don't want sobriety as much as I think I do.
But if I can get myself off again (like my last taper) that to me will mean I'm serious and ready to start going to NA again. Its a crazy cycle of justification, but I don't think thats my addiction talking, I really think its common sense.
Why should I even be thinking about NA if I'm having problems finding reasons to stop right now? Like you have to want it inside of yourself to a degree that makes your ownself believe its real (desire to quit) and THEN I think it would be smart to go to NA. I could go to NA right now but I'm likely to just make fun of all the people in my head cause I'm presently using. I'll leave the room and never wanna go back.
But if I stop first, I'll be MUCH more openminded towards it when I do go... hopefully like I was my first time ever going to NA when I got 5 years clean.
I have no idea but I absolutely recommend detox. And a lot of detoxes will also work with you while you're in the program to set up aftercare. Just make sure you actually do it. Don't value the detox just for the fact they can get you off drugs, value them for the fact that they will also help you stay off them. When you walk in that door you HAVE TO REALIZE you are there for **2** things, not 1, just please don't make the mistake I did.
As far as finding a free detox thats honestly a question I must have asked myself 100times this past week. Like "man it was so easy to get off drugs when I had detox last time but now I don't have health insurance .. if I could just find a free detox I'd be set". I honestly don't know if they even exist though this is something I was going to call this week to find out.
But Carrier Clinic in Belle Mead, NJ comes as THEE highest recommended detox at my university. They were really great in getting me off and I couldn't have asked for it to go any smoother than it did.
Reading thier front page I saw "free mental health and addiction groups and services offered throughout the year for patients" but that would imply you have to be a patient first to get those free services... so not as "free" as they say it is.
And the part your curious about is the detox part right now.
I'll tell you what dude I'll just send them an email and see what they say.
I'm gonna tell them I was a patient there a couple years back and ran out of
health insurance and will see what they say about detox. But I just remembered as
I was typing this when I was at Carrier Clinic I remember this cool kid who was hooked on
dope walking into the clinic. I was outside having a smoke and he asked me if the clinic would
accept him w/out health insurance.
I remember him leaving, as it not getting in to CC, but I asked him what happened and he
said they had recommend a place he could go to detox w/out insurance.
So it seems hopeful I just have to find out the specifics. Shit I'll even go detox with you if you plan on doing it after this semester, I'm dead serious too.
Another thing I want to figure out is how to get a "charity card". I've mentioned this before but if you're currently out of work you can apply for one
and they cover ALL of your medical expenses.
I know I'm eligible for one I just never applied. But if you're out of work chances are you can get one too. And then you don't even have to worry about health insurance not covering a certain amount. I'll be finding out for myself either way so I'll keep you posted.
edit: and sorry about the length thats really something I need to work on lol
Lolies advice implies that Jake waits untill his life is together enough so he doesn't relapse, which is good advice, but I still would never recommend delaying a detox just for those reasons. Just by being on dope he's going to think his life is more messed up than it is. And just by being on dope he's going to be missing a HUGE degree of motivation to do things that could keep him off dope... like going to na/exercise/etc.
Its so much more difficult to do those things when you're in active use.
I went to detox last time not ready but when I got out I felt like a new man in only 13 days. I instantly started going to the gym and loved it, started reading again and learning things, I just had motivation to do so many new things that I never wanted to do when I was using. Its not that any real psychological changes happened, it was merely because I was off drugs and that alone gave me a TON of motivation.
The main part where I fucked up was after detox I never went to rehab or na. Although I was doing everything else right, and I would randomly pop into a meeting everyone and a while, I didn't take it seriously at all. I DID take my life seriously, and my life was improving. But once I reached that point where I thought I was "cool" (as in cool to control my use) there was no NA to stop me from trying.
Thats why I honestly don't believe you need to get everything fixed before going to detox.
Once you get off those drugs no its not going to be all peaches and cream but you WILL find a large degree of motivation you never had before. Cause like I said just being off the shit is such a liberating thing to know about yourself.
And when the alternative choice is waiting for Jake to get his life together.... we could be waiting here for the next 50 years. Sure once you rid the drugs other problems will surface, but I still think just because he's on drugs its going to be near impossible to start becoming "prorecovery" or setting his life up to support him staying clean when he is STILL USING.
And seriously, who ACTUALLY starts to set their life up the right way when they're still getting high? I just don't think a lot of people do this. You might make a few minor changes right before you decide to stop, but I'm not sure thats how the general formula works.
The formula in my mind goes like this:
1) Jake goes to detox regardless of the condition of his life and detoxes off drugs.
2) Now that Jake doesn't have to worry about HOW to get off drugs, AND how to STAY
off them at the same time, it will be much easier to just focus on the latter.
3) Jake focuses on the latter lol.
But seriously theres no need to make this difficult.
The MOST IMPORTANT thing is when you are finally OFF drugs, you MUST in someway make recovery a part of your temporary life. You don't need to focus on it for the next 10 years.
But when I left detox last time I had told at least 10 different social workers/drs I didn't need
their aftercare program. And all that program does is ensure that you go to either NA consistently or a shortterm rehab.
That was my mistake and I knew I was fucking up then when I made that decision, I think I honestly just wanted to see how far I could make it by myself to judge how bad my own addiction really was.
But Jake, once you get clean bro you don't have to work every single one of the 12 steps, but you need SOMEWHERE TO GO where you can analyze your life and talk about your problems.
I really think its just important that you talk about your problems and the reason why is simple.
In those 14 months I was NOT talking about any of my problems and I also didn't even feel like I had any severe problems in the first place. But thats the thing. The longer you go w/out focusing on them, the easier it is to convince yourself you don't even have them. By not focusing on my addiction, at the time 14 months had passed I was telling myself "oh you can get high just once stop being such a square... you're NOT going to addicted to this shit again and you KNOW THAT.. you'd have to be a TOTAL FVCKN MORON to get addicted twice".
And I am that moron cause it happened again.
Thats why once I do stop first thing I'm doing is going straight to NA.
I realize I can go right now, which would definitely motivate me even faster to want to stop opiates soon... but I feel like the getting off part is something **I** have to do by myself.
Because I feel like part of the reason I haven't started yet, is because I don't want sobriety as much as I think I do.
But if I can get myself off again (like my last taper) that to me will mean I'm serious and ready to start going to NA again. Its a crazy cycle of justification, but I don't think thats my addiction talking, I really think its common sense.
Why should I even be thinking about NA if I'm having problems finding reasons to stop right now? Like you have to want it inside of yourself to a degree that makes your ownself believe its real (desire to quit) and THEN I think it would be smart to go to NA. I could go to NA right now but I'm likely to just make fun of all the people in my head cause I'm presently using. I'll leave the room and never wanna go back.
But if I stop first, I'll be MUCH more openminded towards it when I do go... hopefully like I was my first time ever going to NA when I got 5 years clean.
I have no idea but I absolutely recommend detox. And a lot of detoxes will also work with you while you're in the program to set up aftercare. Just make sure you actually do it. Don't value the detox just for the fact they can get you off drugs, value them for the fact that they will also help you stay off them. When you walk in that door you HAVE TO REALIZE you are there for **2** things, not 1, just please don't make the mistake I did.
As far as finding a free detox thats honestly a question I must have asked myself 100times this past week. Like "man it was so easy to get off drugs when I had detox last time but now I don't have health insurance .. if I could just find a free detox I'd be set". I honestly don't know if they even exist though this is something I was going to call this week to find out.
But Carrier Clinic in Belle Mead, NJ comes as THEE highest recommended detox at my university. They were really great in getting me off and I couldn't have asked for it to go any smoother than it did.
Reading thier front page I saw "free mental health and addiction groups and services offered throughout the year for patients" but that would imply you have to be a patient first to get those free services... so not as "free" as they say it is.
And the part your curious about is the detox part right now.
I'll tell you what dude I'll just send them an email and see what they say.
I'm gonna tell them I was a patient there a couple years back and ran out of
health insurance and will see what they say about detox. But I just remembered as
I was typing this when I was at Carrier Clinic I remember this cool kid who was hooked on
dope walking into the clinic. I was outside having a smoke and he asked me if the clinic would
accept him w/out health insurance.
I remember him leaving, as it not getting in to CC, but I asked him what happened and he
said they had recommend a place he could go to detox w/out insurance.
So it seems hopeful I just have to find out the specifics. Shit I'll even go detox with you if you plan on doing it after this semester, I'm dead serious too.
Another thing I want to figure out is how to get a "charity card". I've mentioned this before but if you're currently out of work you can apply for one
and they cover ALL of your medical expenses.
I know I'm eligible for one I just never applied. But if you're out of work chances are you can get one too. And then you don't even have to worry about health insurance not covering a certain amount. I'll be finding out for myself either way so I'll keep you posted.
edit: and sorry about the length thats really something I need to work on lol
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Sounds good, went to aa and n todayand it sucks because i got honest with ppl who have been supporting me but they dont support fact i want to finish school before i detox, they say it is just an exscuse. i dont know if theyre right or wrong but maybe im wasting my time going to meetings when im not clean.....................
and i do kinda agree with them that bein on methadone is just legal dope..............
i messed up right now because my own family isnt even inviting me for thanksgiving , and all they know is i had a relapse about 5 months ago , and still didnt want me there
i wonder if i went to a detox that only takes ppl who dont have insurance if i could just lie and say i dont have it...........or if they check.............the meth clinic didnt check when i said i didnt have it
i just cant see myself goin almost every day 25 min each way to this clinic every day to stay on methadone much longer. its not gonna help me recover..................
also i think one other problem is i still wanna get high , i just dont want the consequences anymore honestly
and i do kinda agree with them that bein on methadone is just legal dope..............
i messed up right now because my own family isnt even inviting me for thanksgiving , and all they know is i had a relapse about 5 months ago , and still didnt want me there
i wonder if i went to a detox that only takes ppl who dont have insurance if i could just lie and say i dont have it...........or if they check.............the meth clinic didnt check when i said i didnt have it
i just cant see myself goin almost every day 25 min each way to this clinic every day to stay on methadone much longer. its not gonna help me recover..................
also i think one other problem is i still wanna get high , i just dont want the consequences anymore honestly
I disagree. It's not a terrible idea. It would be a last resort to claim he's feeling suicidal so the hospital would have to accept him. But I doubt it would even come to that. There are detoxes that accept insurance, and free detoxes that are funded by the state's Dept. of mental health. Outpatient would probably be the best option after detox IMO
Lolie
Bluelighter
Jake, whatever path you take to get clean, it's going to take an investment of your time and energy - probably more than 50 minutes a day initially. Methadone, detox, rehab are all just tools - they're not magic bullets. Getting and staying clean is going to take consistent hard work on your part and the only person who knows whether you're ready to make that investment is you.
I know in Chicago there are a handful of 'free' detox programs. Some are in the city and are pretty rough, rubber sheets, minimal bullshit meds, and they are selling dope very close by. Than there are some in the suburbs that are also free and they are a much better bet. No real programing [some what], just basically sit/sleep/watch tv and detox. They do have better meds though. I know or rather heard that they started to use suboxone at one of the free detoxs. I am sure it is quite busy. Typical detox meds, librium/valium/clonidine/etc. in halting doses.
I haven't went to a free detox in probably close to 10 years but it is nice they are available if you need them. Although they were always harder to get clean in than nicer places because people would say, 'fuck this shit I am sick and I am going to go cop'. That almost ALWAYS sounds tempting when feeling sick. Now with the advent of buprenorphine I am sure that has cut down on that aspect.
Do you not want to use your insurance for fear of your parents finding out? I guarantee that there are free detox places out by you. Do you ever go to any meetings that are in treatment centers? If so ask them, they are usually very willing to help people out or point them in the right direction.
How was the drop from 80 to 60mgs? Feel some discomfort? Seriously thought about using? Hang in there.
peace.
seedless
I haven't went to a free detox in probably close to 10 years but it is nice they are available if you need them. Although they were always harder to get clean in than nicer places because people would say, 'fuck this shit I am sick and I am going to go cop'. That almost ALWAYS sounds tempting when feeling sick. Now with the advent of buprenorphine I am sure that has cut down on that aspect.
Do you not want to use your insurance for fear of your parents finding out? I guarantee that there are free detox places out by you. Do you ever go to any meetings that are in treatment centers? If so ask them, they are usually very willing to help people out or point them in the right direction.
How was the drop from 80 to 60mgs? Feel some discomfort? Seriously thought about using? Hang in there.
peace.
seedless
speaking from experience....it takes an entire program to hault active addiction and utilize recovery; as in a doc for meds (if needed), a counselor for your addiction, a group and definately attending N/A or AA meetings.....you have to open your mind to a new world where all of the people truly do not want to use because it consumes their lives....the day before i started my first intensive outpatient treatmenat i wrote in my journal that i was extremely skeptical of this whole thing and i thought i'd be better off dead. After day one i knew I'd benefit from this....so after a relapse lasting two weeks in late oct/nov I signed back in for another outpatient treatment and also to try suboxone this time around....you must adopt the whole program and change the people in your life who you use with or buy from; gotta find new places to hang out and forget the things that prompted your use such as feeling desperate and embarrassed - those emotions are part of the process....If you are strong enough to give in and let go, try something new and listen to others who have lived with this sickness much longer then good things will come....
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