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Unjustified Jealousy

MyFinalRest

MyFinalRest

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 22, 2011
Messages
2,099
Location
Corporate Buttsecks
So here's the story...this "friend" of mine who I once asked out but only became friends with has been in a jealous rage over me flirting a little with a friend of hers. She has said awful things to and about me because of this and there was some arguing because I naturally like to defend myself. Of course, trying to get her to reason makes everything worse...but I figured out that this girl was a bit crazy before this anyway, but she was always very kind to me, even though often dishonest. She's got a boyfriend and I'm completely single so why would she care if I went after her not-so-close friend so damn much?

I don't think she's acting this way because she likes me, instead, there is some control issue or issue with her self-image or something else deeply pathological about it. What does Bluelight think?

Thanks for your input.
 
I agree with you, although, this situation has never happened to me personally. Lucky all my girlfriends have been great with setting me up, actually I owe most of my hook ups to them =D. Anyway, women can be very controlling and possesive, even when it comes to their friends. If this what you have to deal with, imagine what her poor boyfriend must go through lol.
 
Oh jeez. Sounds like the I-can't-have-you-and-neither-can-anyone-else kind of girl. She's usually attractive, but has some deep seeded insecurities/self esteem issues/daddy issues. They're used to getting all the attention, even when they are taken/not interested like that. It's friendly and flirty, until she's not getting the attention anymore...

Then the fangs come out. She might seriously cock block you or make some ridiculous shit up, like you tried to make a move on her when her bf had his back turned. I've seen it and it ain't pretty man, be careful with this one
 
She's pissed because you're over her.

What a fruit!
 
Yeah, thanks...you all are right. I sensed some issues with her all along, but nothing like this. The incidence of personality disorders runs high it seems. I even tried apologizing a couple of days ago and it backfired. She's got some fangs alright. I'm going to stay away from her...

She was attractive, interesting, and talented, and very friendly at first, and that's what made it hard on me...but, don't let "first impressions" get the better of your judgement!

Disraeli Beers nailed it on the head I think. She did love attention...not personal intimate attention, but frequent, shallow attention from multiple sources. She had self-described herself as having "commitment issues" and her dad did run out on the family when she was young and has had no contact since. Damn, I do feel sorry for the poor girl, but the more I tried to show her that I actually cared about her well-being and feelings, the worse things got.
 
Seems like she's taking this way too hard. You weren't even ever in a committed relationship. Chauk it up as a blow to the ego
She sounds unstable and I know you feel sorry for her, but stay away. Even better make like a teletubby "run away, run away!"
 
So here's the story...this "friend" of mine who I once asked out but only became friends with has been in a jealous rage over me flirting a little with a friend of hers.
Click to expand...

Go no further...I can tell you what's going on here LOL

It's the "I am getting all the attention from this guy and he's moved on, so wait a second I don't like not getting all the attention" effect. You were asking her out, focusing your attention on her..boyfriend or not she liked it. You stopped focusing on her and now she's being a little bitchy about it because the focus is no longer on her.

Happens alllllllllllllll the time, my man. Girls and guys do it and it's retarded and annoying when you're on the receiving end.
 
The poor girl has had it hard, and she makes it really hard on herself. I would like to help her, but some people are incapable of receiving help. She didn't get just a "little bitchy" ...she really struck some low blows on me...really trying to break my balls for it.
But, I'm over it and moving on for sure. These days it only takes me about a day or two sometimes to give up and start looking forward. It sucks that this was how I really got to know who she was, but that's who she was.
 
So did you end up going out with the other girl or did this one sabotage that chance completely?
 
I didn't even ask the girl out. Just showed some not too serious interest. I'd say it was sabotaged so far, but who knows. She was single and spoke to me first. Maybe she might get interested and try to get a hold of me.
 
Just say the word and I'll put a voodoo curse on the sabateur. Teach that bitch a lesson
 
I'd ask her point blank if she has any problems with her current boyfriend which should result in one of two things:

A) She'll see what she's doing without you having to ask directly about it. Likely back off and see you as more of a friend, and in that case perhaps the friendship can be salvaged. I think it's always good to give people the benefit of the doubt even if they are damaged goods.

B) The same will continue after a brief flip out. Get away!

That way though, you at least don't have to be minus a friend without trying.
 
It seems to me that she's just one of those people who can't control her emotions or rather the actions that her emotions take. You aren't responsible for someone else's feelings and by making an effort to defend yourself to her you've only managed to add fuel to the fire and in her mind justify her emotions. Just drop the subject and pretend as if nothing has happened.
 
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