Hi Tormented. Have you checked out The Dark Side? It's a subforum here that is built around supporting BLers (and greenies too, of course ) get through tough times. There is a great group of some of the best BLers that post there regularly, in addition to an aweseome mod team-- between both sets of people, there is bound to be someone who has been through something like what you're going through.
Check it out, seriously. Read a bit first to make sure that there isn't any obvious duplication, but there's no harm in making a thread specific to you. There's no judgement there; you can open right up, and I'd recommend it. We can't help if we don't know what's wrong, right?